Friday, April 1, 2011
Recently Ephemeral Chimera Laboratories (ECL), specialists in commercialization efforts for novel and radical technologies, announced they are in the process of commercializing a radical bioelectromechanical power system that promises to end energy dependence worldwide. ECL’s novel BB/CB-DERS combines a biological organism with electromechanical energy-harvesting technology to deliver what may eventually become a major source of energy for home and industry once the company has completed its efforts.
According to ECL founder and CEO Axel Katzendreh the technology cannot be applied to portable systems at this time. “Unfortunately the technology is limited to large-scale applications as we are unable to satisfactorily miniaturize the primary biological systems.” Katzendreh added, “However, the PBJ/CB-DERS holds the potential to provide nearly limitless energy with only modest losses. We are currently working on the mechanism reset function as that is the weak link in the power chain.”
Katzendreh continues, “The Buttered-Bread/Cat-Back Drop-Energy Recovery System (BB/CB-DERS) holds great promise once we figure out how to keep the cat rotating along the same axis. We know the cat will always try to land on its feet and the buttered bread will always try to land on the butter, but after one rotation the system stops cycling.”
We at Ephemeral Chimera believe that the problem is that the cat MUST rotate along the same axis, as once it strays from the rotational axis coriolis forces allow the cat to overcome the butter energy and land on its feet” concluded Katzendreh.
ECL intends to release a beta version soon, and will then attack its next project involving the interaction between heated water in an open metal vessel and related Heisenberg effects.
yes, April fool!