That was good well I liked it!
I wrote my own version of Twas the Night before Christmas and well here it
Twas The Night * Torchwood Style
Twas the night before Christmas when all through the base
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Weeville.
The stockings were hung by the secret entrance with Ianto’s care
In hopes that soon a late night pizza delivery would soon be there.
Tosh was nestled all snug in her bed while
Visions of the latest computer programs danced in her head.
And Gwen in Owen’s nightshirt and he in his matching bottoms
Had just settled down for a long Christmas “nap”.
When out on the streets there arose such a clatter
Jack sprang up from his bunk to see what was the matter.
Away to the window
He flew like the Doctor,
Tore across the floor and
Up the invisible lift.
The moon on the rise shown on Cardiff below
Gave the city an odd eerie ethereal glow.
When what to the now present team’s
Eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh
And eight very deformed reindeer,
With a little old driver,
So bright and green
Jack new in a moment
It must be a baby Slitheen.
More rapid than meteorites
His coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted,
and called them by name:
“Now Ashder! now, Randce!
Now, Ranpcer and Ixven!
On Mocet! on Pucid! on Ondn
Ondner! And Ibltzen-
To the top of the water tower
To the top of the nearest shopping mall!
Now dash away, dash away,
Dash away all!”
As dry as the leaves
In the wild countryside fly,
When they came upon an organic obstacle
It had to die.
So up in their custom made ride
Torchwood 3 they flew,
They had to stop that alien.
Their Torchwood that’s what they do!
And then in a blink
They heard on the roof
The prancing and drumming
Of each little hoof.
Owen drew in his arm
And spun the black vehicle around.
Then down the hood it came
With a loud thwacking sound!
He rolled over with a plunk
As Jack kicked him with his shoe.
Owen raised his gun
But Jack said to him only vinegar will do.
Drop by agonizing drop
They watched the creature sizzle and fizz.
Until it became a bore and
Ianto was ordered to put it out of its misery.
He grabbed it and dosed it in a vinegar bath.
As it exploded and spattered,
A message of peace it exclaimed
“Happy Christmas to all and to all a good life!”
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