Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office.
"Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house -
cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs
me to help with the attic and the garage, moving
and hauling stuff."
Updated frequently during the day!!!
Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -
there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors's office.
After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and said,
"if you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
Followers With Footnotes
I saw this amusing commercial. This basset hound is lying on the floor next to his master,
who is totally covered by the newspaper he's reading. On the floor in front of the dog is a page
of the newspaper that advertises this incredible bargain airfare from a certain airline. Suddenly,
the dog has a bubble over his head in which he sees himself at the kennel again while his master
is off traveling. The dog quietly picks up the part of the paper that has the ad, trots over to the
garbage can, drops it in, and goes back to his master's side. His master never knows the difference.
Of course, the dog has no way of knowing those great sale fares aren't always as great as they first
appear. The sale fare is in big print, but at the bottom is this small print with lots of conditions.
Or you call the airline and you get some surprises. You have to fly over a Saturday, there's a penalty
for any changes, there are only a few seats at that price, or you may have to book two years in advance!
It looks great for a while, but the added conditions change things a bit - conditions you hadn't counted on.
Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Matthew 19:27-29. By the way, Jesus knows how
it feels to call and find
out about unadvertised conditions. The Scripture says, "Peter answered Him, 'We
have left everything to follow You! What, then, will there be for us?' Jesus said to them ... 'You who have
followed Me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left
houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for My sake will receive a hundred
times as much and will inherit eternal life."
Peter's wanting to know what's in it for him to
follow Jesus. Contrast that with his original commitment
to Jesus in Mark 1:17-18, "'Come, follow Me,' Jesus said, 'and I will make you fishers of men.' At once they
left their nets and followed Him.'" There were no conditions, no footnotes, and no fine print. But now Peter's
concerned about houses and fields and closeness to his family.
Peter's not alone. His mindset here uncovers a troubling tendency in our commitment to Christ. Unconditional
commitment to Christ tends to become conditional. As our lives get more complex, as we accumulate more and
accomplish more, we start to add little footnotes and conditions to what began as an 'anything goes' commitment
to the Lord.
There was probably some time in your life when you opened yourself up totally to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
"It doesn't matter where I live, how much money I make, what position I get, what I wear, what I drive, who goes with
me." But that can change. Now the Lord might be asking you to do something that might risk or change some of
those parts of your life. Suddenly, you're giving the Lord a contract with certain requirements - living in certain
conditions, being near your family, keeping your position or some prized possessions, keeping a special person
in your life, being comfortable. You're saying, "Yes, Lord, but..." Added conditions. The word "but" cannot follow
the word "Lord."
Jesus assured Peter he was losing nothing any more than you lose the money you invest in a stock that later
goes sky high. In fact, Jesus promises a reward 100 times any sacrifice
you make. What a return! But that kind
of reward is reserved for those who give Jesus a blank piece of paper, not a contract. "Even with all I have now,
Lord, and all I want, anything goes."
Have you added footnotes and conditions to your once wide-open commitment? Remember, Jesus abandoned
everything to rescue you. He's worthy of your "no strings" commitment. You knew that once. It's time to get back
to where you began, following Jesus with total abandon. - - Ron Hutchcraft
*Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor'.
I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."
That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.
You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great hum! an teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.
-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
The Biotech Century
Dream Or Nightmare?
Nations around the world are banning human cloning. The UN General
Assembly passed a resolution calling for the practice to be banned
everywhere. In addition, one of the biggest and most newsworthy
human cloning experiments, in Korea, turned out to be a complete fake.
Well, it would look like the "Biotech Century," as some have been calling
it, is off to an unpromising start.
If so, that's something for which we can be grateful, because the closer we
get to the cloning and commodification of human lifeeven for purposes that
seem well-intentionedthe more we endanger all human beings.
President Bush put his finger on this when he said in his State of the Union
address, "A hopeful society has institutions of science and medicine that do
not cut ethical corners, and that recognize the matchless value of every
life." The president went on to ask Congress for a ban on "the most
egregious abuses of medical research: human cloning in all its forms."
Notice that includes both reproductive cloning and so-called therapeutic
cloning. It's tremendously important that the president made that
distinction clear, because it's an appalling sign of our times just how many
peopleincluding many of our United States senatorsthink it's perfectly
fine to clone a human embryo so long as you plan to experiment on it and
then destroy it before it can be brought to birth.
You may recall I talked recently about former senator and ambassador Jack
Danforth and his slams against his fellow Christians. One of the many things
he blames us for is
"criminaliz[ing] research because we want to save cells
in a petri dish that will never be implanted in a uterus and never become
That kind of dreadful misreading of such a crucial issue is unpardonable,
especially coming from a Christian. Unfortunately, however, it's all too
common among lawmakers who, unlike Danforth, are still active in politics
and have the power to make laws that would allow us to buy, sell, and
experiment on human life. And that's why, despite so many promising
developments around the world, we're having such a hard time pushing
through a comprehensive cloning ban in the United States.
And as if that weren't bad enough, we have another threat to deal with on
the biotechnology front: the advancing science of nanotechnology. If cloning
threatens to redefine what it means to be human, nanotechnology takes it
to the next level. My friend and colleague Nigel Cameron, of the Center for
Bioethics and Human Dignity, puts it this way: Abortion and euthanasia are
taking life, cloning is making life, and nanotechnology and cybernetics are
faking life. Nanotechnologywhich, again, is being promoted as helping those
with dread diseasesholds the dangerous potential of controlling or possibly
even re-engineering human nature.
I know this stuff is complicated, and if you're like I am, science is hard
to understand sometimes. But this is life-and-death stuff, and we have got
to know more about it and be able to press for ethical guidelines. Call us,
won't you, here at BreakPoint (1-877-322-5527) or visit our website to
find out more about it and what you can do. BREAKPOINT with Charles Colson & Mark Earley
Not amalgamated with 'Thought
Internet has undoubtedly transformed the ways in which we live, work,
learn, and play. We are clicks away from discussing politics with someone
on a different continent, or researching history from libraries in Europe.
From our own living rooms, we can connect with lives all over the world.
Cyberspace is truly a vast world, and the extent of its influence grows
daily. And while I am the first to applaud the astonishing tool that it
is, I am also dismayed to see the ways in which it is abused and the
negative consequences that arise daily. Countless reports discuss the
explosion of Internet pornography, while other articles report the growing
phenomenon of specialty chat rooms-suicide and eating disorder blogs
where members can gain insight from one
Just decades ago, it would have seemed odd to hear of Internet addiction
or of the many online ethical issues. Yet today psychologists actually
have a name for the study of Internet-related conditions, and college
classes are now being taught on the psychology of cyberspace.
In this, it is interesting to note what psychologists are calling the
"online disinhibition effect." (1) The term describes the differences in
behavior between the real world and the non-face-to-face world of the
Internet. The theory explains how the sense of anonymity and invisibility
in the virtual world causes people to behave in ways they would not
otherwise in the real world-the effects of which are quite often
It strikes me that the effect of disinhibition is simply an embracing of
the hazardous idea of facelessness. An
intangible identity allows for
intangible morality. Pirating a CD is overwhelmingly perceived less a
crime than walking into a store and stealing it. Actions in the name of
anonymity have somehow become more acceptable.
Juxtapose a culture growing comfortable with the whims of facelessness
and a society growing largely comfortable with a faceless God, and there
is much to think about. Spirituality has become one of the most popular
subjects to write about, yet God has become in countless minds a mere
impersonal force, vast and neutral.
Christianity teaches something quite the contrary, and it is unique to
other religion. The Gospel of John memorably reports, "For God so loved
the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in
Him will not perish but will have everlasting life" (3:16). The face and
identity of God is something unmistakably significant; it is central to
the Christian message. That Christ was begotten of the Father is more
vital than we often realize, and in a culture that increasingly grows
comfortable with facelessness, it is of utmost significance. Jesus
was not created, but begotten. He is not the same person as the
Father, but is of the same essence as the Father. When we look
at Christ, we see the Father.
reveals Himself to us in the person of Christ is the hopeful,
certain message to an uncertain world. God is not a faceless being,
but a divine Person, in whose image your face was created. Jesus
Christ is a sharer of our very humanity, a face that looked out upon
the crowd of mockers, cynics, and skeptics alike, and on the cross
spoke the words with your image in mind, "Father forgive them, for
they know not what they do." We are never faceless, and His is the
face of matchless love. Jill Carattini
(1) John Suler Ph.D. "The Online Disinhibition Effect." In the Psychology of Cyberspace, (2001).
"A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
tell them to ple! ase call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).
Staff Sergeant Dan Clay - "I know what honor is. . ."
When President Bush paid tribute to Staff Sergeant Dan Clay, who died in Iraq last month.
The President read portions of a letter Dan wrote to his family. But his full letter gives a powerful
Christian testimony -- my friend Stacy Harp at Writing Right has posted that letter:
Dan Clay's letter
MOM, DAD, KRISTIE, JODIE, KIMBERLY, ROBERT, KATY, RICHARD, AND MY LISA:
Boy do I love each and every one of you. This letter being read means that I
have been deemed worthy of being with Christ. With MaMa Jo, MaMa Clay,
Jennifer ... all those we have been without for our time during the race.
This is not a bad thing. It is what we hope for. The secret is out. He lives
and His promises are real! It is not faith that supports this ... But fact
and I now am a part of the promise. Here is notice! Wake up! All that we
hope for is Real. Not a hope. But Real.
But here is something tangible. What we have done in Iraq is worth any
sacrifice. Why? Because it was our duty. That sounds simple. But all of us
have a duty. Duty is defined as a God given task. Without duty life is
worthless. It holds no type of fulfillment. The simple fact that our bodies
are built for work has to lead us to the conclusion that God (who made us)
put us together to do His work. His work is different for each of us. Mom,
yours was to be the glue of our family, to be a pillar for those women (all
women around you), Dad, yours was to train and build us (like a Platoon
Sgt.) to better serve Him. Kristie, Kim, Katy you are the five team leaders
who support your Squad ldrs, Jodie, Robert and Richard. Lisa you too. You
are my XO and you did a hell of a job. You all have your duties. Be thankful
that God in His wisdom gives us work. Mine was to ensure that you did not
have to experience what it takes to protect what
we have as a family. This I
am so thankful for. I know what honor is. It is not a word to be thrown
around. It has been an Honor to protect and serve all of you. I faced death
with the secure knowledge that you would not have to. This is as close to
Christ-like I can be. That emulation is where all honor lies. I thank you
for making it worthwhile.
As a Marine this is not the last Chapter. I have the privilege of being one
who has finished the race. I have been in the company of heroes. I now am
counted among them. Never falter! Don't hesitate to honor and support those
of us who have the honor of protecting that which is worth protecting.
Now here are my final wishes. Do not cry! To do so is to not realize what we
have placed all our hope and faith in. We should not fear. We should not be
sad. Be thankful. Be so thankful. All we hoped for is true. Celebrate! My
over, my time in war zone is over. My trials are done. A short time
separates all of us from His reality. So laugh. Enjoy the moments and your
duty. God is wonderful.
I love each and every one of you.
Spread the word ..... Christ lives and He is Real.
Spread the word ..... Christ lives and He is Real.
* * *
God bless the Clay family. How humbling --
we all live more safely today because of their
sacrifice of their son. May we make grateful
and good use of that gift.
"Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
well the main end of his life and studies is to know God
and Jesus Christ
which is eternal life (John 17:3)."
- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643
"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
of religion, both in public and secret."
- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter
The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict in 303 A.D.,
failed to stamp the Bible out. The French Revolution could not
crush it with secular philosophy (Rousseau, one of its heroes,
converted to Christianity). The Communists failed to stamp it
out with atheism and political ideology. One might well ask why
this book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with such
animosity and scorn. The great Reformation hero John Calvin
responds in this way: "Whenever people slander God's word,
they show they feel within its power, however unwillingly or
reluctantly." - Joe Boot
Why The U.S.A. Is At War:
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
Sermons by Scripture Index