NEW OR CHANGED IN THE SCIENCE JOKES COLLECTION THIS WEEK
Version 7.28.4 Time-stamp: "February 3, 2002"
Codes for subjects:
M mathematics ; P physics ; C chemistry ; B biology ; E engineering
A computer science.
* New entry
& Changed entry
=7. COMBINED SCIENCES
=7.2 COMPARE SCIENTISTS (USING LIONS, ELEPHANTS ETC.)
From: "Han Zhang" <han_zhang@...
From: "PAUL ROBERT VARLEY" <VAR14084@...
What is 1+1?
* Pure mathematician: The series certainly converges, but we don't know the
* Mathmatician: "It all depends on what base you're using"
* Statistician: In the survey I conducted with 1,000 randomly selected
* Statistician: (takes out tables) "I am 95% confident it is between
1.95 and 2.05"
* people, 1+1 has a mean of 1.982, and standard deviation 0.107.
* Applied Mathematician: 1+1=1.9975 (after the 12th iteration)
* Nuclear Physicist "It has to be less than 2, because we have to
account for energy lost in binding."
* Quantum Physicist "If I tell you the answer, you won't have asked
me the question."
* Physicist: 1+1=2 with +- 0.1 uncertainty from experimental error.
* Physicist: (takes out slide rule) "Approximately 1.99"
* Engineer: (looks over physicist's shoulder) "Approximately 1.99"
* Computer Scientist: 1+1=10
* Chemist: 1+1=i. Since one ion plus another ion may form a complex ion.
* Chemist: "Doesn't IUPAC recommend we work to more significnt
* Biologist: 1+1=3 if the 2 1's are in opposite sex.
* Biologist: "How long do they have to breed?"
* Computer Scientist: "I haven't ironed all the bugs out of that
* Economist: 1+1<2 due to the law of diminishing returns.
* Accountant: "2"
* Accountant: 1+1=1.67 after deduction of tax.
* Actuary: "How much do you want it to be?"
* Lawyer: We don't have enough evidence to decide this until my fee is
* College Student: 1+1... where's my calculator?
* Grade 3 student: 1+1=2, and daddy is buying me an icecream!
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Joachim Verhagen (joachim.verhagen@...
(with science humor)