The Govenor of
California is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A coyote jumps
out and attacks the
Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.
Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon
the movie "Bambi" and then realizes
he should not
because the coyote is only doing what is
He calls Animal Control. Animal Control
captures the coyote and bills the State
it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and
bills the State $200 testing it
The Governor goes to hospital and
spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the
coyote and on getting
his bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets
shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a
survey to make sure the
area is now free of dangerous animals.
Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
"coyote awareness program"
for residents of the
The State Legislature spends $2 million to
study how to better treat rabies and how to
permanently eradicate the disease throughout the
The Governor's security agent is fired for
not stopping the attack. The State spends
$150,000 to hire and train a new agent with
additional special training regarding the nature
PETA protests the coyote's
relocation and files a $5 million suit against the
The Governor of
Texas is jogging with her dog along a nature
trail. A coyote jumps out
and attacks her
The Governor shoots the coyote with her
State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The
Governor has spent $0.50
on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends,
is why California is broke and Texas is