In an attempt to lighten the mood and clear the air, I offer, via Teresa
Nielsen Hayden (who is an editor and should know), what she considers to be
both much funnier and much more authentic, and most importantly much
shorter, than the Bulwer-Lytton contest: the Lyttle Lytton contest.
John, surfing, said to his mother, surfing beside him, "How do you like
Man oh man, you're gonna like this book; boy howdy.
(which seems to me to nicely parody Ford Madox Ford's egregious "This is
the saddest story I have ever heard.")
The whole is at:
Warning, some have naughty language, but they _are_ funny. I especially
recommend the 2003 page, which has some truly ridiculous _second_ sentences
to follow the original "It was a dark and stormy night ..."