--- In firstname.lastname@example.org
, "Gene Poole"
> "mlcanow" <mlcanow@y...> wrote:
> > I am finding out a difficulty in sustaining personal
> > others than the family ones i already carry throughout my life
> > the past.
> > And what becomes difficult, is that the one that pretends to
> > to me, expects some kind of ownership in an exclusive person to
> > person way. Once there are no parameters appart from those that
> > arise from an inner feeling of natural and spontaneous action,
> > relationships are great for a while, but they become limiting
> > time.
> > Love,
> > ml
> Hi ML...
> Ownership... yes.
> Perhaps if our cultures changed to the extent
> that parents are not seen to 'own' children,
> when the children become adults, they will not
> expect any 'ownership' of each-other.
> The issue of ownership is one of those special
> pieces of our enormous burden of cultural
> conditioning, which becomes red-hot, and serves
> to make a lot of the otherwise invisible conditioning,
> visible. The 'family way' is often or always toxic.
> Once a man or woman refuses to be 'owned',
> a lot of other issues come up, also. The one
> who refuses to be owned, or to own another,
> must eventually be identified as a rebel or
ml: i have even been identified as "mad". There is difficulty in
others, to say the least, in understanding a way of being almost
without any pre-established parameters. No long term plans for an
imagined future, no particular expectations, etc.
> Much of our 'spiritual work' is to simply
> scrape off the deep overburden of cultural
> conditioning, to eventually expose the actual
> 'thing' that we are. I wonder what would happen
> if parents who do not 'own' each-other, raise
> children who are not 'owned'. Will these children
> be able to exist as what they are, more easily
> than the current crop of humans?
ml: I am coming to believe that is so, from my own experience with
my children, who are being raised under such understandings, both
from the side of their father and from mine. They seem to be very
mature, stable and easy being teenagers.
> In the field of psychology, the issues of
> 'ownership' falls into the category which is
> called 'co-dependency'. I can hope that over
> time, these remedial ideas will percolate into
> the mainstream, to the effect of actually
> legitimatizing freedom on all levels of Being.
ml: Sounds great. Hope this will be so.
> ==Gene Poole==
> 'Hindsight shows how often yesterday's so-called truth
> may become today's absurdity. Real ability is to respect
> relative truth without damaging oneself by refusing to
> realize that it will be superseded. When you observe that
> today's controversies often reveal not relevance but the
> clash of the untaught with the wrongly taught, and when
> you can endure this knowledge without cynicism, as a
> lover of humankind, greater compensations will be open to
> you than a sense of your own importance or satisfaction in
> thinking about the unreliability of others.'
> From 'A Perfumed Scorpion' Idries Shah