Journal Entry - tosime
Date: June 07
Type: (1) Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
Type: (2) Chi Kung
Time: 10:00 a.m. (After watching a World Cup match!)
Duration: (1) 62 minutes (open)
Duration: (2) 20 minutes (timed)
Posture: (1) Seated on chair, eyes closed, tongue tip to pallet
Posture: (2) Standing (Zhan Zhuang)
Condition: (1) Dark room. Candles. Incense. Essential Oil - Bergamot
(on burner). Bell.
Condition: (2) Normal room.
Experience: Very rich session. Lots of insights. Diverse range of
experiences. About 10-12 waves of endorphins.
Insights: (a) Pre-meditation thoughts. I think what made this session
so good was that before the session, I thought about what kind of
session I wanted. I asked questions which I wanted answers to without
trying to think of answers. I had a sense it was going to be a good
Insights: (b) Mind Chatter. To help quite my mind I try to picture a
person talking, even if that person is myself. I watch myself say the
words I hear. If the words come from another person, I picture that
person saying the words. I try to make the person I visualize match
the words. If I know the person speaking I use that particular
person. If I do not know the person, I make up an image that best
matches the voice and what the voice says (tone, loudness, mood,
subject matter etc). In this way I am separate from the voice in my
head. I become a silent watcher - even when watching myself. The
voice does not take me over. It might distract me for a moment but
afterwards I move on.
Insights: (c) I tried to find out more about the waves. The location -
lower back of brain. It appears to spread through my brain which
gives the impression of spreading through my body - I am not sure.
Purpose - it feels like a sort of cleansing process as if a
blackboard was being wiped clean. Some waves came without inducement,
like a natural process. While the early waves stopped immediately I
took my attention away from them, the later waves went on by
themselves, sort of on auto-pilot. This gives me the impression that
I can continue my meditation while these waves work in the
background. The waves have a stilling effect on my mind. Most mind
chatter is dissolved and images fade.
Questions: Because the waves feel pleasant, I assume they bring the
pleasant feelings. However, could it be that the pleasant feelings
are continually present in the background and the waves are simply
dissolving the barrier that prevents me from experiencing the
pleasant feelings? I had a sense of this the way the waves seemed to
clear things up. I am desperately seeking guidance here. Does anyone
have any ideas?
PS - Could others please share their journal entries.