There is a positive side to this which is that we can share our experiences and grow from what we share. Your post has set in motion 1000s of 'events' that will one day result in your realizing your goals - even if they may be different from what you now believe them to be. I am sure others will respond, so here is my 2 cents.
Expectations are counter productive to meditation. I took a 6 month break from meditation when I realized that my expectations were sending me down a path of frustration and tension - the exact opposite of what I wanted. Let go of any expectations or ideas of success. Begin to see the success in everything.
When you read a post from someone, don't judge your practice or results based on what you read. Instead, see if anything resonates with you. Give your inner guide the space to signal if something is attractive. When you judge, you dull your sensitivity. There is no effort in contacting your inner guide. All you do is relax. Read and forget. If anything is useful you will steer yourself in that direction at your own pace.
I would like to give an analogy. When I was learning how to swim, I put in so much effort that I tensed my body to extremes. Swimming was a struggle. My tense body reduced my buoyancy making it harder for me to stay afloat. In order to swim I had to work against the tension I was creating. If I followed that approach I would have made very little progress and would have been discouraged - the more effort I put in the smaller my results. And all the time I would be seeing those who could swim glide through the water seemingly without effort. The breakthrough came for me when someone described swimming as laying on a bed - a very comfortable and relaxing experience. I then relaxed when I was in the water and suddenly the whole experience of swimming transformed. It was not a struggle, it was a relaxing, gentle experience. Gradually my movement became naturally more and more efficient. Very soon my attention was no longer on the act of swimming but on what I wanted to do in the water; basically have fun.
I believe meditation is similar. When you don't "think" about it, when you have no expectations, you "relax" into it. Each session should have you "doing" less and "achieving" more. Assume that you body knows what to do. All you have to do is get out of its way. At first it may seem like nothing is happening. That is like a bird that has lived all its life in a cage and you suddenly open the cage door. At first its going to simply stay in the cage because it does not quite realize that it is free. This is not the time to reach in, yank it out and throw it up in the air! Be patient. In due course it will poke its head out of the cage and gradually try new things.
May I suggest as a starting point, simply describe what you do when you meditate. Send a post to this site. The act of writing down what you do will start to put you in the "watcher" rather than the "doer" frame of mind. I believe this is helpful for meditation. When you are in the "watcher" frame of mind, try perceiving subtleties. If you are looking at something, look for the most subtle thing you can see. When you think you have found it, look for something even more subtle. This "process" is one approach to going deeper - notice how it involves less and less not more and more. If you are listening, try to hear the most subtle part of the sound. Notice that you must relax to do this (remember swimming). The more you tense the harder it is to be subtle.
In terms of blood pressure, I would suggest looking at all aspects of your life - diet, exercise, work stress, social support etc. The act of measuring your blood pressure probably increases it with the tension of expectation.
I hope this helps - Tony
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, June 06, 2002 1:43 AM
Subject: [Meditation Society of America] Disheartened
After reading posts from others telling what happens when they
meditate, I am more disheartened than ever. Obviously, I haven't a
The only indicator I have of even marginal success is that when I
take my blood pressure immediately after meditation, it's usually
down, but that's a very temporary thing.
I've long been at a point that a little guidance (from my own inner
guide that's supposed to be there) would be very welcome and most
helpful. Right now I'm ready to cry.
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]