Journal Entry - tosime
Date: June 03
Type: (1) Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
Type: (2) Chi Kung
Variation: Focus on heart beat and breath
Time: 6:50 a.m.
Duration: (1) 63 minutes
Duration: (2) 20 minutes
Posture: (1) Seated on chair
Posture: (2) Standing (Zhan Zhuang)
Condition: (1) Dark room. Candles. Incense. Essential Oil - Bergamot (in burner). Bell.
Condition: (2) Normal room.
Experience: Relaxed session
Insights: (a) An important technique for me is to switch my thinking from an active mode to a passive mode. In an active mode I am reasoning, judging etc and creating thoughts in my conscious mind (monkey mind?). In a passive mode my conscious mind is still and is waiting for images or thoughts from my subconscious. The problem is how to switch from the active to the passive and remain in the passive mode. During this meditation session I tried imagining myself sitting in an empty room that had doors all along the walls. Mentally I would open each door and look to see what was behind the door. If I saw nothing, I would gently close the door and proceed to the next door. This action placed my mind in a passive state - an alert watching, waiting state. The key here is not to place an image behind the door or your active mind would have 'sneaked in through the back door!'. If it is done well there should not be any image behind any door. The image or thought from the subconscious will simply appear spontaneously.
Insights: (b) A lot of what happens in meditation is very subtle. During this session I worked on improving my ability to perceive more and more subtle thoughts and reactions. My approach was to scan for the most subtle thought or physical reaction from the mass of reactions. As I went deeper into my meditation the volume of reactions decreased but this made searching for the most subtle reaction harder. However this also improved my ability to sense for subtle reactions. One immediate benefit was that I was able to lower my inner body perception threshold. Quite spontaneously I felt a mass of physical sensations that were previously below my level of perception. To my great surprise, my body was still reacting to the meal I ate last night! At the time I thought I enjoyed the meal. My body was telling me that it did not like the food very much. I have a sense that eventually, I will be able to sense my body's true reaction to a meal before I eat it, regardless of what my higher senses (taste and smell etc) are saying.
Questions: Although this was a fairly long session, I had very little sensation of time for both types of meditation. Why is this? Do we have control of our time perception? How does this work outside of simple distraction?
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