Thanks for such a beautiful journal entry.
It reminds me of what happens in my mind when I meditate. I have a good
sense that you are making progress, especially as you are not letting
expectations influence your session. Being open to whatever comes up is a
very good mind state to be in.
As you become more aware of your thoughts are you able to notice the brief
interval between thoughts? Have you tried resting at this point so that the
next thought takes a little longer to surface? There is an awesome peace and
silence in that moment between thoughts. It is often so brief we hardly
notice it. But try not to anticipate it or create it or you might fall into
the expectations trap.
Date: September 24, 2002
Duration: 40 minutes (open)
Position: Sitting in chair, eyes opened, hands resting in lap
Technique: Body and breath awareness
Variation: Chanted OM silently
My concentration was good today. I was taking very deep breaths and
the sound of breathing was loud, which helped keep me anchored. Mind
chatter was medium to high. I paid particular attention to the flow
of thoughts. How one thought leads to the next. Sometimes it was a
natural progression. Other times my senses would trigger the thought.
Usually in the form of a re-action, which started a new chain of
thought. Sometimes a particular thought would lead to a memory. And
sometimes the memory would cause a re-action in the form of thought.
Sometimes I would notice the re-action in the form of physical
sensation, then I would re-act to the sensation with a thought. I was
able to keep an awareness of this phenomena most of the time during
my session. I noticed the point in my sessions where I tend to get
really relaxed. I think this is what Tony was referring to, about
making sure I keep my attention focused. I realized that this point
of relaxation is usually when I start having thoughts that it is time
to end my session. I noticed this, sharpened my attention, and kept
meditating. My session was a little longer today. My body felt very
relaxed. I had some minor back discomfort but it wasn't
I was able to keep my eyes open the whole time with no problem.
Feeling very relaxed and alert afterward.