June 1, 2013|
Intimacy Without Resposibility
From Intimacy Without Resposibility On-Line Course
by Wendyne Limber
The following is an excerpt from the "Intimacy Without
Resposibility" on-line course. If you would like to enroll in the
course, click here.
Freedom in relationship is about becoming very clear about your own
codependency - the roles (and games) we play with others... your
intimate partner as well as family, friends and colleagues.
Who are you when you are in the presence of others? Are you real? Are
you hiding your joy, pain, truth, or love. And, what is real love? How
can I be in relationship with others and stay true to myself - not FEEL
abandoned or enmeshed with the other? And, how can I let go of wanting
to save or fix you and just take care of my own SELF... and still feel
important, happy and loved?
Having intimacy without responsibility for others is about practicing
the art and skill of freedom in relationship... moving toward more love
and CARE FOR SELF. We realize that when we truly heal and take care of
ALL of our own issues, we are able to love more deeply.
It's also about the mystery and sacred space that relationship takes us.
This work honors the universal truth that tells us: Every relationship
I have is mirroring something about me that is wanting to come up into
consciousness for my healing and transformation... for my wholeness and
the evolution of my soul.
AND, Whenever I have a problem or issue with you, I have an opportunity
to heal and transform something inside me ... like an unresolved old
wound or trauma, something I lost, something I always needed, or
something I do not even know!
Soon you will really know that every person you attract in your life is a
part of your wholeness, a missing piece of the healing puzzle - that no
matter what happens in this relationship, I am healing more because I
am choosing to view every part of this relationship as a sacred thing -
Yes, I like it.
I Am Speaking My Truth: Principle #1
I Am Here On This Earth For My Own Soul’s Evolution - Not To Take Care Of You
Love is not about taking care of someone else. Even though taking care
of someone else could be rewarding, it usually becomes a burden sooner
or later. Some people learned to do this because they had to in order to
survive. Some children grew up too fast - having to take care of their
siblings or emotionally unbalanced parents.
Caretaking can become a disease. Most caretakers become martyrs and
eventually become sick or addicted to something to take away the pain.
When I care-take someone else, I get to not take care of myself. If I am
caretaking, YOU are what I am always thinking about. I begin to worry,
control, manipulate and hold in my feelings or I become angry and
hurtful. Either way, it does not work and I am not whole.
I am here on this earth for my own soul’s evolution. I am here to take care of ME.
And, I will let YOU take care of yourself. This does not mean that I
will not help you or support you. I will figure out HOW to do that in
the healthiest way that serves us both.
As I learn to TAKE CARE OF ME, I am actually more free to love you
fully. I will not have to be fearful of the time we spend together –
knowing that I am not giving away a part of myself. Today I commit to my
Write your answers to the following questions:
Who Am I Care-Taking?
In what way do I do this?
How long have I been trying to take care of other people?
Am I committed to my own soul’s evolution?
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