His Holyness Dalai Lama When I meet people or get in a new relationship, I start putting all these repressive restrictions on myself. I can t have my feelings.Message 1 of 1 , Jul 1, 2004View SourceHis Holyness Dalai LamaWhen I meet people or get in a new relationship,
I start putting all these repressive restrictions on myself.
I can't have my feelings. Can't I have my wants and needs.
Can't have my history. Can't do the things I want, feel the
feelings I'm repressed, perfectionistic robot,
instead of being who I am: Me -Anonymous
Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: Don't be yourself.
Who else can we be?
Who else would you want to be?
We don't need to be anyone else.
The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.
We may think others won't like us.
We may afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away or shame us.
We may worry about what the other person will think.
But, when we relax and accept ourselves, people often feel much better being around us than when we are rigid and repressed.
We're fun to be around.
If others don't appreciate us, do we really want to be around them?
Do we need to let the opinions of others control us and our behavior?
Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships.
The tone relaxes. We relax. The other person relaxes.
Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth.
Who we are is all we can be, all we're meant to be, and it's enough. It's fine.
Our opinion of ourselves is truly all that matters.
And we can give ourselves all the approval we want and need.
Today, I will relax and be who I am in my relationships.
I will do this not in a demeaning or inappropriate way,
but in a way that shows I accept myself and value who I am.
Help me, God, let go of my fears about being myself.
People are awakening to the greater realities, which, in actuality,
are not seen with physical vision, but are seen, perceived,
intuited, felt, sensed with the knowing essence of the Spirit within you.
Part of the process of manifesting abundance and
making it your own involves acts of faith.
This is not just having faith that something good will happen;
I'm not talking about wishing on a lucky star
or betting your favorite number and having faith that you'll win.
I'm talking about a faith that involves your doing
those positive things that produce successful results.
We look at some people as if they were special, gifted, divine.
Nobody is special and gifted and divine.
No more than you are, no more than I am.
The only difference, the very only one,
is that they have begun to understand
what they really are and have begun to practice it.²