Justice Sues Tiger Woods!
On the heels of
their victory over Microsoft, the DOJ has announced they plan to "break-up"
Tiger Woods. DOJ's lead prosecutor, Joel Klein, claims Tiger uses
unfair golfing techniques which stifle his competition.
Klein also stated that he doesn't necessarily want to "break-up"
Tiger Woods; however, if they can't find some way to handicap him enough to
allow other golfers to win then there would be no other
Under a breakup plan, Tiger Woods
would have to play half his tournaments as "Tiger" and the other half as
"Woods." Although this may not give other golfers an advantage it
would increase the tax revenue to the
Tiger Woods said he plans to fight these
charges. He has done nothing wrong except practice hard and
Mark Fitzpatrick, anti-trust expert,
said, "This "play-to-win" attitude is what started all Tiger's problems.
If Tiger would just allow other's to win he would not have a monopoly on the
golf course. He really brought this upon himself. He should
have known the government couldn't allow this much golfing power in the
hands of just one person. If I was Tiger, I would settle out of
court. An appropriate remedy might be that he has to wear handcuffs
when driving and stand on one foot while putting." *
* We hope we don't have to tell you that this is
only a spoof on the governments' Antitrust suit against
J.A.I.L. (Judicial Accountability
Use header to subscribe/remove: jail4judges@...
is a unique addition to our form of government.
JAIL is powerful! It is
dynamic! It is America's ONLY hope!
Visit JAIL's informative websites, www.jail4judges.org (& .net)
egroups may sign on at firstname.lastname@example.org
message is spreading across this nation vociferously!
Support JAIL @ P.O. Box
207, No. Hollywood, CA 91603
"..it does not require a majority to
prevail, but rather an irate,
tireless minority keen to set brush fires in
"There are a thousand hacking
at the branches of evil to one
who is striking at the root." --
Henry David Thoreau