[Welcome.bak/~sorry2B/absent/4solong-dot-com=edy to Positivity Wednesday! I
have no real "excuse" but I would certainly be remiss if I missed THIS! He
IS now the 10th-ever all-time finisher of The Barkley Marathons, an
awesomely persevering young talent if ever there was one, and yet...who the
heck IS Brett Maune? (Besides this week's TMIMITW). Well, for starters, he
owns a speedhiking trail record:
Peter Bakwin also wondered and had a question or two about Mr. Maune
I, yours troubly, tried to find something...like his very own blog or
website, but could only discover this:
(And hey, Brett must be a busy guy! He's not updated or posted anything
recently--like, for about a year?)
If you're into LinkedIn, you could find him here:
Within which he states modestly, "I am a staff scientist doing research in
nanotechnology of sorts."
(We just love the "of sorts," don't we?)
SO! HE'S A SCIENTIST!!! Must be enrolled in "The School of Blake Wood"
(Blake, of Los Alamos Laboratories fame, was once on TV during CBS's "60
And here is at least one of Brett's theses:
"Fluidic and polymeric integration and functionalization of optical
In the abstract of which, we quote:
"The central theme of this thesis is the investigation of further increasing
a resonator's functionality through its integration with fluidic and
polymeric materials." And "The successful fluidic and polymeric integration
with optical resonators presented in this thesis demonstrates some of the
possible synergies that can be obtained with such integration and suggests
that further enhancements in resonator functionality is possible."
Which today might be translated for us laypersons as follows: "The central
theme of my life's thesis is doing the impossible. My most recent
investigation studied further increasing-to-critical-mass a resonator's
functionality amid thorny complications of a Tennessee jungle with little
fluid and fewer pollyanna materials. Nevertheless I demonstrated some of
the possible syns-and-energies that can optically be obtained upon emerging
from such junglelike immersion, and this now invites further scientific
inquiry after all the other Alumni get a load of just what in the hell ol'
Lazzie Lake has up his sleeve next!"]
It's been said that "he is indeed Jesus," and whoever said that was only
Not only has he ascended thousands of miles in a matter of hours, rolled
back capstones from his would-be grave, and inspired a multitude of
followers; but he has also been miraculously able to transform fluid
polymers, a couple of loafers, and a few burnt chicken pieces into enough
whine and fishies to sustain an entire gaggle of banqueting revelers for
three whole days!
Similar to "The Apostles' Creed," instead of descending into hell and rising
on the third day, he is quoted as saying: "I had to concentrate when
descending stairs so as to not fall down. I was in pretty bad shape." And
yet, despite the doubts of all disbelievers, he did ascend to the heavenly
portal of Whitney terminating the John Muir Trail--some 223 non-stop
miles--in 3 days, 14 hours, and 13 minutes.
While He watched all this, now seated on His heavenly porcelain throne just
to the left of St. Peter, Jesus Himself was excited.
It has also been reported from various pulpits over just this past weekend,
that the Son of Gawk was even more excited to watch him finish The Barkley
In less time than it takes most folks to plan and execute time off work for
a family vacation, he paused all his optical kinda/sorta research in
nanotechnology, briefly discontinued saving humanity's eyeballs with fluidic
resonators, hopped on a flight to Eastern Tennessee, showed up at the
strangest most uniquely juxtaposed vortex of time warpage, meteorological
cataclysm, and truly the black hole of the galaxy--only to don hiking attire
and tirelessly hike, for the next half-week, the whole totality of exotic
ground--starting in the dark no less--otherwise known as "The Barker."
Some have likened this miracle on a par with The Second Coming. And Going,
possibly, because he was back at work in his lab practically the very next
There is on video on some website a "fly-over" of this course he just
conquered. And it takes longer to watch the video than he took to conquer
During his last night on "trail," an entire forest fire broke out--but even
that didn't stop him. He simply whipped out his polymer, changed back into
his waterlogged shoes, took more fluidics, and eased himself right on by the
conflagrations of damnation.
In perhaps the understatement of the century, one philosophical gentleman
who was an eye-witness to all this--by virtue of having raced against him,
and lost--laid a post on a hotly buzzing listserv, "calling him the
'analytical executor'--he analyzes the data, develops a plan, and then
freaking executes it!"
In DEFINITELY *THE* understatement of the millennium, he himself has posted
to a slightly different website, saying "I am one masochistic son of a
bitch. If you go head-to-head with me in a sufferfest your best possible
outcome is a tie."
He is THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD.
"I don't always end in a tie; but when I do, I prefer to be also back in my
lab coat after having just kicked your ass. Stay scientific, my friends."
( 00 )
See (and hear) some originals:
[and thanks to UltraJohn Price--who (speaking of conquering trails
end-to-end) is now running solo across the whole country--for supplying this
in place of that former long and always-broken hyperlink]
("your also near-miraculous 800-year-old lute-plucking Barkley-DNFing
song-and-dance man from France").
Yankee Folly of the Day:
Brett himself needs to join the Ultralist and repost there what he just now
posted to allah us Barkers.