[Welcome to Wednesday--if our beloved Ultralist returns to active service
while it is indeed still Wednesday. Ah, I just now see that it has!
Today's total-shot-in-the-arm heroine has been promised since Tuesday, and
that is mainly due to how well she entertained us on Tuesday, which prompted
a "survey" asking for votes to put her in the spotlight today Wednesday,
which then produced a sorta/kind-of-a flood of totally way-positive
commentary, which is fitting since today IS "Positivity Wednesday."
[She is Lynnor Matheney of Houston-Somewhere, Texas. But unlike many, she
doesn't (yet) "blog," she hasn't (yet) appeared as a Runner's World
covergirl, nor (yet) on that of UltraRunning--although, if you look, some of
her contributed photographs are now published in the October issue of that
very magazine. She IS on Facebook (check this pic from the 2010 Vol-State,
if it's publicly available:
and, I'm told, she even has an account on MySpace!! I myself caught her act
here in '08 at RR100:
and just last February she was at Bandera, the proof of which is here:
LAST=Matheney&DIVISION=&BIB=37. Mrs. Matheney generally shuns the
spotlight, but--ya know what?--she has been "warned" and today she troubly
deserves it. :-]
Her prose has been anthologized in a textbook of American Literature that is
now being taught in every English class of every high school and college
throughout the United States.
When public schools hire her to speak at their assemblies, so many parents
and citizens show up that they can no longer fit inside the school gym.
Assemblies are then postponed until the nearest professional basketball
arena can be rented.
Most of the Western World's book and magazine publishers now believe that
Erma Bombeck did not pass away, or that she has been brought back to life,
and in this regard she is even better than Elvis.
All those publishers currently flood her mailbox with book and article
offers, and enclose hefty checks as advances against royalties.
Author, athlete, ultrarunner, photographer, and mother. She wears all hats
with equal aplomb--and without ever having to dye her hair underneath. Her
reputation has also spread throughout the rest of the Western World as THE
Go-To American Host Parent for all high-school-aged foreign exchange
students. Every kid in Europe now wants to live in her house.
She's entered many footraces beyond the marathon, some of which go on for
weeks and cover most of the distance across many Southern States. Her own
children are so enamored of their "fit & fab" mama that they even volunteer
to work as her crew.
Not only her own pets, but those of the entire neighborhood follow her
faithfully as she runs every day.
Having grown up in "da 'hood" of Peoria, she became the veritable poster
child for substance abuse reform. Her entire life has been so turned-around
since Led Zeppelin was "Dazed and Confused," that now every punk, alt, emo,
and goth chick in Texas seeks out her advice and begs for her counsel.
Amazingly, even her own husband now cuts her some slack.
She is The Most Interesting Woman in the World.
"I don't always entertain; but when I do, most folks say they're 'ROTFLMAO.'
Stay funny, my friends."
( 00 )
See (and hear) some originals:
["That 800-year-old lute plucker from France"]
Yankee Folly of the Day:
There are eight million stories in "The Naked City," but most of them don't
generally walk that way across Mongolia for "World Peace."