[We really do have a "wild child" in our happy, mostly clothed, midst. She
just WON a damn marathon, for heaving's Sake. And, as she told the news
reporter, she really hadn't "trained for it." No, but of course how else
exactly would she have? Her daily runs are already of 20+ miles!
[Yes it's, like, once again, like totally, like "Positivity Wednesday," and
today Jenn Shelton IS--like without a doubt--THE most interesting *young*
woman in, like, the whole wide world! She even has her own encyclopedia
--and you can gawk at just
*why* she's so wild and free, here:
As a young girl, not only could she outrun all the boys, but she routinely
beat them all up, too. And taught them a few choice words on the side.
As an adult she was arrested, and the county jail was so thrilled to have
her that they paid "show-up" money and gave her a salary and an expense
She was accused of "playing frisbee" with the arresting forest ranger's hat,
but he was so charmed that he dropped all the charges and asked for a dinner
date instead, and the restaurant was so thrilled to have her that they
comped the meal.
She once out-drank all the sailors of Virginia Beach, slept on a floor, woke
up with a hangover, and proceeded to beat all the elites in the next
morning's footrace--then she returned to the hotel before anyone else was
Her mentoring influence was Jack Kerouac's "The Dharma Bums," but it is
difficult to call a "bum" anyone who can outrun and out-distance the freight
When she moved to Oregon, she flew of course. But it was not in an
Winning races for her is so commonplace, that local sports reporters will
write up their articles in advance.
She claims she became an ultrarunner for the Zen, thinking she could handle
Buddhism Lite, but that failed when she herself became such a heavy hitter.
She has since recorded, for example, the very fastest female 100-mile
running time "on dirt" EVER.
The night before a race, she "carbo-loads" on Dos Equis, jalapeño pizza, and
the current records of all other runners.
It's been said that soldiers in the Army "do more before breakfast" than
most people do all day, but she routinely does more than all the soldiers do
And sometimes she even wins big city marathons with her clothes on.
She is The Most Interesting Woman in the World.
"I don't always kick all the asses in the woods; but when I do, I prefer
them to belong to the bare. Stay naked, my friends."
( 00 )
See (and hear) some originals:
["Ain't no body ever plucks lutes like me"]
Yankee Folly of the Day:
Just imagine what she could do if she trained!