Oh, Cathy, your letter made me cry. You do not have anything to be sorry for. It's a testament to the great care you gave him all his life that he lived so long! He was so blessed to be your kitty, and to have you to take take care of him, especially during his illness -- he knew that, and gave you all his love in return.
The way he passed was exactly the way I lost my first kitty to HCM -- only it was on the livingroom floor instead of in the car. She screamed and I found her in a big puddle of fluid. I did pick her up and held her upside down to drain the fluids, and also tried mouth-to-mouth, but she was already gone. Fortunately it is fast when it happens. I didn't know anything about hCM at that time, she didn't even have a murmur -- but I sure learned fast after that. Now I have sweet Tigger who also has HCM. He's already lived 8 years since his diagnosis.
We cannot let anybody give us a timeline! Look how long Gov lived! That is just wonderful. Proper care, proper meds and lots of love -- that's the formula!
You should deal with this in your own way. I had my soul-kitty Pooh cremated separately. He was returned to me in a beautiful little stone urn that matched the color of his fur. I have it on the bookshelf in the hallway, and give him a kiss or a pat everytime I walk by. It is VERY comforting to have him here.
I know we will see our kitties again -- they are happy and healthy and young again, and waiting for us.
When you're up to it, please post a memorial to Gov on our memorial site -- http://www.AngelKitties.com
-- we'd love to see his photo and hear how you met, etc
sincerely, Michelle, Susie Q & Tigger Too
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, February 14, 2013 5:48 PM
Subject: [FH] McGovern, 16 years old, is gone (long)
I think this is the 1st group I joined in searching for help for Gov.
I want to thank those who have helped me sporadically over the years in this group and former groups pet care. I know it added to his well-being and longevity despite his having HCM, and asthma, and arthritis from a young age.
McGovern died today on the way to the vet for a wellness check. He was my sweet miracle boy. He would have been in his 17th year had he lived just 3 more weeks. He was supposed to die when he was 6 years old, so I was told. I knew this day would come and I've mourned for him many times well before his passing, thinking he would just slip away at any moment. But he was with me for 10 more years.
He had had a few rough years with his illnesses and I think he outlived his lives long ago and was just hanging on so I wouldn't feel the pain of his passing. I truly, truly believe that.
He was my joy, my comfort, and my consoler when this same pain I am feeling now was present for others. My comfort was to take care of him.
He was especially stressed when I got him into the car in his carrier, and I felt so bad because he had a few very scary visits lately with the vet, had to have xrays, and blood drawn, and subQ fluids because he had a bad cold and was dehydrated. I'm so sorry he died thinking he was going to have to undergo yet another scary procedure. It was to be just a wellness check but the ride in the car, being in the carrier was just too much for him. And I am so sorry I put him through that at the end of his life. And I think of all the what ifs, and should haves, and should not have. "I'm so sorry", is all I can say to him.
On the way to the appointment he was crying a little more than usual and then he let out a howl and a cough and was breathing really badly. I was just a few minutes away from the vet but when I touched his head he didn't move, so I really poked him in the head and yelled his name. He let out a weak howl and then I had the horrible feeling that he was gone. And he was.
I thought about pulling over to resuscitate him but I didn't and the vet was so close. It just would have been more pain for him.
He started with his heart condition when my father got sick and stayed with me through my sister's and mother's deaths.
I'm 55 now. I was still in my 30's when I got him. My late 30's but geezus, I got him when I was in my 30's!!
I can't remember how it was before I had him, what I was missing. I sure feel something now.
It's too new to ponder missing him or any thoughts like that. Right now I'm crying over a fresh wound. I don't even know how bad it is yet. I haven't given much thought as to what to do with him, his body.
Right now he is in the spot on the bed that he usually sleeps in. I'm petting him and brushing him. I'll sleep with him there tonight. I can't bear the thought of him anywhere else.
If I sleep, I hope I don't wake up tomorrow thinking it was just a bad dream.
Thank you all, Cathy
McGovern, my sweet angel boy. Number One, Wobble, and Pickle
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