Well it's 2 weeks since my Peemyster left and it's still hard to believe. I still can't sleep at night thinking that he should be laying on my legs. Thom doesn't sleep in the beds but if he would sleep with me I might have an easier time with it.
I also keep seeing flashbacks of Chief dying in front of me, then I wonder if I took him to our vet to have his blood pressure took, monthly, would it have showed something so I would notify his cardiologist and she would have told me to bring him in for his ultrasound sooner.
I love Thom but it's not the same. Even Bailey senses it's not the same either and I don't think Thom and her are going to be as close as her and Chief were. Last night I got the bag of Chief's fur out and just smelled it and felt how soft his fur always was. I'm still waiting on his urn to come in. I can't seem to bring myself to start his memorial page either. I hope maybe in a month I can pull myself together and start it.
I'm not doing the bad kitty files this month. Chief was my inspiration and doing the list right now would make me cry even more than I'm doing now.
Give your babies a big hug and kiss right now because you never know it might be the last chance you have to do it.
Deb,Bailey & Chief
Pet Birth Certificates http://grahamsgraphics.sphosting.com/cert.html
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