Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
YG Alerts sends.
We want to acknowledge the reports that not all groups are receiving
email. Some of these groups are seeing the posts on their group
archive on the Web, but not receiving them via email. This problem has
been difficult to diagnose, since it is affecting some groups but not
Our engineers have been investigating the root cause since we became
aware of the problem last night. We will continue to work on this and
will keep you updated via the Groups Team Blog:
In the meantime, we appreciate your patience and apologize for the
The Yahoo! Groups Team
Ok so we have no idea at the moment which lists will go out today
so we can assume if you read this we will assume that you are one
of the lucky ones. Makes me feel like going back to bed and sleeping till
Take care... buffalo
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"EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE
I LEARNED FROM A JIGSAW PUZZLE"
1. Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will
come together naturally.
2. When things aren't going so well, take a break. Everything
will look different
when you return.
3. Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the
little pieces only
leads to frustration.
4. Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together
bit by bit,
piece by piece.
5. When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure
back later (see #4).
6. The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a
7. Variety is the spice of life. It's the different colors and
patterns that make
the puzzle interesting.
8. Working together with friends and family makes any task
9. Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of
security and order.
10. Don't be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches
11. Take time often to celebrate your successes (even little
12. Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle
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<a href=" http://buffalosjokes.com/01020509.htm
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> Here </a>
Look For The Baby
> Here </a>
What to do if you happen upon a peace rally by stupid
naive college idiots, to teach them why force is
1) Approach dumb rich ignorant student talking about
"peace" and saying there should be, "no retaliation."
2) Engage in brief conversation, ask if military force
3) When he says "No," ask, "Why not?"
4) Wait until he says something to the effect of,
"Because that would just cause more innocent deaths,
which would be awful and we should not cause more violence."
5) When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as
hard as you can.
6) When he gets back up to punch you, point out
that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values
to strike you, because that would, "be awful and he
should not cause more violence."
7) Wait until he agrees that he has pledged not to
commit additional violence.
8) Punch him in the face again, harder this time.
Repeat steps 5 through 8 until they understand that
sometimes it is necessary to punch back.
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A painter was painting a room of a house this rich woman was having
remodelled, when walks the blonde interior decorator,
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," says the interior decorator, "there's not
enough colour in this paint, it needs some more mauve."
So the decorator hands the painter a can of mauve paint and tells him,
"Here, put some of this in that can and mix it."
The painter pours some of the mauve in the can of white paint, and
mixes them with a stirrer. First he stirs the paint about ten times
clockwise, then he reverses the direction of stirring. The decorator
sees him do this, and yells, "What are you doing??"
"I'm mixing the paint" The painter says.
"Why are you going the opposite direction now?" asks the blonde,
pointing to the mixing stick, "Don't you know that you'll unmix the
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A pick pocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes.
"Mr. Brewster," the Judge said, "you are hereby found guilty and
fined the sum of $150."
After consulting with his client, Mr. Brewster's lawyer stood up
and said, "Your Honor, my client is a little short at this time. He has
only $125 in his pocket, but if you would allow him a few minutes in the
I have a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in
the break room with another manager. I reached ino the refrigerator for
my lunch, which was packed in a Ace Hardware paper bag.
My co-worker stopped in mid-bite and stared at me, looking a
little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in
"What's the matter?" I asked him.
"Uh, nothing," he replied. "I was just beginning to think you
really DO eat nails for lunch."
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Q. What do you get when you cross a frog with a dog?
A. A croaker spaniel!
Q. How would you cut a shark in half?
A. With a sea-saw.
Q. What do you call a fish without an eye?
A. A fsh.
Q. How do you fix a broken pizza?
A. use tomato paste.
Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crumby.
Q. What animal needs oiling?
A. A mouse, because it squeaks.
Q. What is the height of stupidity?
A. I don't know, how tall are you.
Q. Why did the jelly wobble?
A. Because it saw the milk shake.
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One day this mechanic, Tony, was working late under a car and some brake
fluid accidentally dripped into his mouth.
"WOW!! This stuff isn't too bad tasting," he thought to himself.
The next day he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid.
"It's really not bad...in fact, I think I'll try to have some more
His buddy was a little concerned but didn't say anything.
Next day Tony told his buddy about drinking a full cup of the brake
"Great Stuff! Think I'll have some more today." And so he did.
A few days later he was up to a bottle a day, and told his friend,
"This break fluid is the world's greatest tasting stuf!"
His friend was now really worried.
"You know, Tony, that brake fluid is poison and it's really nasty stuff.
You better stop drinking it!"
"Hey, no problem," he told his buddy....
"I can stop any time!"
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One day a man was walking along the beach and found an old bottle washed
up on the shore. He picked it up and opened it, and a genie popped out
and said. . .
"Thanks! You know the drill... you've got three wishes. The only catch
is, whatever you ask for, your ex-wife will get double."
The guy thought about this for a minute and said,
"OK, fair enough. For my first wish I'd like a million dollars."
Poof! A million for him, two million for the ex-wife.
"OK, how about your next wish?" asked the genie.
"Well, I think I'd like a mansion by the sea."
Once again, everything went as expected - he got his mansion, and the
ex-wife got two.
"Now, what is it you would you like for your last wish?" asked the
"My last wish is that. . . . .
I'd like you to scare me half to death!"
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Four women were driving across the country. Each one was from a
state: Idaho, Nebraska, Florida and New York.
Shortly after the trip began, the woman from Idaho started pulling
potatoes from her bag and throwing them out of the window.
"What the heck are you doing?" demanded the Nebraskan.
"We have so many of these darn things in Idaho, I am just sick of
looking at them!"
A moment later, the gal from Nebraska began pulling ears of corn from
her bag and tossing them from the window.
"What are you doing that for?" asked the gal from Florida.
"We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I am just sick of looking
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A farm boy accidentally overturned a wagon load
of corn on the road. A nearby farmer saw the accident and went over to
have a look and found the boy trying to right the tipped wagon. "Hey
Willie," the farmer said., "Forget your troubles for a spell and come
have dinner with us. I'll help you with that wagon after we eat."
"That's mighty nice of you, but Pa wouldn't like that," Willie replied.
"You need a break," the farmer insisted. "Well, okay, " the boy finally
agreed. "But Pa won't like it." After a hearty meal, Willie thanked the
farmer. "I feel a lot better now, but I just know that Pa will be
upset." "Nonsense," the farmer said. "Where is your pa anyway?" "Under
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During a recent publicity outing, Jennifer sneaked off to visit a
fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering
into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy
way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow.
Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman's lined face, then at the
single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep
breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune
teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question.
"Will I be acquitted?"
If you are interested in having an absolutely incredible sex life, there
is a new book (just published) that has the most exciting secrets you
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But, here's a warning: Before you request your copy of the book,
you better know some of the secrets revealed in it. You see, the author
of the book doesn't want to embarrass anyone... or... make them feel
uncomfortable in any way. So, if your deep religious beliefs, your ultra
conservative upbringing or, if you have "personal reasons" against
having great sex... you probably should NOT read this book.
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Katie, Sandi and Rudy are hauling out one of the versions
of a Robo-Katie and a Katie Klone made before she dissapated.
BJ: What are you guys doing?
Kate: We were wondering what this model does?
BJ: Take it outside before turning it on. We know that some
were good and some were not completed and some were how
shall we say it? No too good.
Rudy: I say not too good.
Sandi: Erratic behavior at best.
Katie: Okay I am turning it on...
Robo-Katie: Ladies and Gentlemen today and today only I will
toss in this handy dandy dicer for only 4.99 if you purchase the
knife set that is guarenteed for life.... whirrr....
Do you have insurance in case you meet your untimely demise?
I can sell you insurance to meet your every need after you die.
Rudy: It's a sales robot!
Sandi: Ack! Turn it off Katie!
Katie: Let's not be too hasty. We might be able to use it
for our KSR Industries. Think about the possibilities: no salary
required, works 24 hours a day, no vacation, no benefits...hmm,
no union, I like it.
Katie: All right, all right. What everyone votes for is okay with me.
Sandi: Katie may have a point. We could test it for a few hours and
see what happens.
While they were talking the Robo-Katie has changed into a plaid
sports coat, white tie and bright yellow hat....and continues with
the spiel: Time shares for sale, in Vegas cheap.
Sandi: I see a problem.
Sandi: All the things, the knives, the time shares, etc., the Robot
does not have access to.
Rudy: You are right. The robot is just selling, selling things it
doesn't have. That would be a serious problem. The robot might
sell your dog house Katie.
Katie: Burn the robot!
The herd in Guthrie
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
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