Hi to Everyone --
Jim, thanks for your suggestions and kind thoughts on this issue.
I just wanted to say two things: first, that I've gotton a lot of very
positive feedback from people, and have made some connections with parents
experiencing similar issues. This has been very good for me. Secondly,
the many of us on this list who are parents of children with autism have
a lot of emotional stuff on our plates, so to speak, and sometimes we
may react too fast on the basis of our own fears, stresses and anxieties.
I too hope that we can be supportive of each other, and if we have
sometimes negative or difficult things to say, perhaps we could frame it
more thoughtfully and carefully, without jumping to conclusions about
the apparent moral worth or personality traits or quality of parenting
of other people. I think that: 1) parenting in itself is often challenging;
2) parenting children with autism is even more so -- not simply because
they may sometimes have "frustrating behaviors," but more so because we
struggle with lack of resources, lack of support, lack of understanding,
isolation, grief over the difficult challenges our children will continue
to face, and sometimes feelings of helplessness or anger towards the world
as we watch them struggle in an environment which is not geared towards
their needs. I also think we are fortunate that there is a rapidly growing
body of research and study and thinking and education and treatment around
issues of autism, and that public understanding and sympathy is beginning
to grow too as we understand more about autism.
I also want to follow up on Jim's suggestions about getting back to
other issues to explore, and I'll be sending a post responding to Tom's
earlier posting regarding John Richardson's note to him (I hope I have
John's last name right!)
Good thoughts to all, -- Valerie
Original Article: http://www.egroups.com/list/autismlist/?start=708
> Dear List members,
> It seems that we are all different in our approaches to dealing
> with autism and each other. It really sucks to get flamed and even more
> when it questions your care for your child. In this kind of situation it
> may be best to keep our opinions to ourselves. I really feel bad for
> Valerie, she has gotten a raw deal from some List members and I for one
> am sorry for the behavior of some of these List members.
> If we want to comment on a negative issue, it might be better to
> offer an alternative instead of just bad mouthing someone. Also, this
> frustration thread has had more mileage than any of the positive issue
> that have been discussed. I really feel that if our autistic children
> were the one typing on this list there would be a lot more respect for
> others feeling and positive outcomes would be the focus. I just wonder if
> we can get back to the real reason we are all here?????
> You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
> Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html
> or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]
eGroup home: http://www.eGroups.com/list/autismlist
Free Web-based e-mail groups by eGroups.com