Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
NOVEMBER 2005 (Volume 8, Issue 11)
Part 1 of 3 Sections
WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the
worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates,
including the North American Discworld Society and other
continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent in
your name, country and e-mail address. Are there any dues?
No. Just ask to be put on the mailing list.
Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
Managing Editor: Annie Mac
News Editor: Anna M. Conina
Convention News Editor: Anna M.Conina
Creative Co-Conspirator: Valeria Lynne
Staff Writers: Asti Osborn, Paul Blake,
Book Reviews: Drusilla D'Afanguin
Puzzle Editor: volunteer needed
DW Horoscope: Anaemia Asterisk
Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet,
Nathan Clissold, Dylan Williams
Art Director: Rhett Pennell
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano
Webmaster: Paul Wilkins, disk@...
Copyright 2005 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
1) IGOR SCHOOL
2) THE CHRONICLE OF LOOMING ANDREW
A.K.A. THE LONG OVERDUE ADMEET REPORT
3) NEIL GAIMAN AND THE FLORIDA WITCHES
4) WHERE'S MY COW? TERRY REVEALS ALL
5) YOUR NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE
6) "GOING POSTAL" GETS RAVE REVIEW IN AUSTRALIA
7) TERRY AND THE CRIME WRITERS
8) DISCWORLD WEBSITE REVIEW
9) LEFT-OVER PUZZLE
1) IGOR SCHOOL
Young Igor comes home after his first day at Igor school.
His mum asks "So, did you make any new friendth today?"
2) THE CHRONICLE OF LOOMING ANDREW
A.K.A. THE LONG OVERDUE ADMEET REPORT
All right, I sit here suitably chastised and will begin immediately
Dear Lizst, this herewith is the chronicle of me, LOOMing Andrew. Bright
was the morning and high our hearts when Mad Mogg Meg proceeded to my
humble abode, where events eventvated as I shall now sing. If this sounds
familiar it probably is, but I did say I was going to write a saga
Bugger that, on to the abridged version:
On or about Friday the 14th of October 2005, at approx the morning, Mogg
contacted both Dan and myself via the anternet concerning the possibility
of an Admeet when she was in town the next weekend. A bit of to-ing and
fro-ing via those mobile phone thingies and SMS messages and voice contact
was established. At that stage I had to go to Adelaide on Monday to do
some work for a friend and would be able to do lunch or afternoon drinks,
whichever was arranged on the day. As with all well laid plans, this did
not come to pass so on the morning of Monday the 17th of October I rang
Mogg, explained the change in plans, and enquired whether she would care
to take a short drive in the country and visit our humble abode. An
affirmative reply was forthcoming and it was arranged that after indulging
in some retail therapy Mogg would sally forth and infiltrate our premises.
For those who have previously experienced the world-famous Mogg Distracted
Navigation Method(TM), this may turn out to be a bit of surprise.
Considering all of the conflicting advice I received (from Mrs Loom
Hostess, plus my own variations added from the street directory) on how to
actually proceed to said abode, it's amazing I didn't end up in Alice
Springs. As it was, I merely overshot the road by several kilometres and
had to turn around :-)
The previous Saturday I had made one of those silly mistakes that one
makes and taken Trish (mine other (better) half) for a short drive and
visit to an open garden display near here. There she was struck by that
most dreaded of things (by husbands anyway), inspiration. Did I lob
myself in it or what, and I was conscripted into performing manual labour
in the form of constructing a drystone retaining wall for the vege garden.
Come Monday I was hard about my labours doing a damn good impression of
Sgt. Detritus drilling new recruits in an attempt to get the (expletive
deleted) rocks to line up properly in a wall like fashion when a vision
wandered from the house. It took a while before I realised I had got
sunstroke and that Mogg wasn't here yet, so I had a drink and a bit of a
rest, then got back into it.
About half an hour later Mogg did arrived and was greeted by Trish at the
front door, I was still down the back imitating Detritus. They wandered
down from the house and Mogg was greeted by a smelly, sweating, dirt
encrusted apparition muttering things that the Silicone Anti-Defamation
League would have frowned upon. Greetings all round and back up to the
house for a drink and chat (plus a cleanup for me).
I should note that the cleanup managed to miss the face, and a rather
fetching smear adorned it for most of the day! Very nice vegetable
The rest of the afternoon was a tour of the house and property, more
chatting and inducting Mogg into the routines of the property (seeing as
these had to be done anyway, and a spare pair of hands never goes
So Mogg got to meet all the animals; threw a ball for Amber; had her
crutch sniffed by Jimmy; lead Katie in from the paddock, cleaned her
hooves and brushed her before putting her in her stall; played with the
mini's for a bit; threw the ball a bit more; had her crutch sniffed again
(he was possibly contemplating a leg humping at this point but he got
told off (Jimmy that is)) and then we retired to the house to prepare
I had to admit somewhere around here that my horse-maintenance skills
were approximately 15 years rusty, but I didn't get stood on or bitten
figure we were all right. I was a little disappointed to discover
LA refers to stabilising the horses it doesn't refer to fitting them into
some kind of supporting scaffold for the night.
Somewhere in there the cherubs were retrieved from various schoolbuses and
introduced as well. And added much to the general atmosphere of
After the evening repast and glass or two of red and more conversation it
was unfortunately time for Mogg to go as she had to negotiate some rather
windy roads to get back to her friends place. It was good to meet another
person from the list "in the flesh" and get to know them other than their
online persona. The axe wielding maniac didn't come out at all so I can
only assume that Mogg is as nice a she seemed to be, despite the penchant
for liking cats. All in all I can only assume that a good time was had by
all, cos I certainly did (and as a side note, if anyone else wants to come
and visit/stay for a while please let me know and we will see what can be
arranged, see Mogg for references)
I managed to get back in time not to be locked out of the place I was
staying *grin* I don't know about nice, though! It was a thoroughly
enjoyable day, and proof that people you meet via pixels can turn out
very likeable, rather than freaky :-) It's also the only house I've ever
visited which has an upstairs and a downstairs bar. The view sitting
hill is very pleasant, although it would possibly be more pleasant
full-grown collie sitting on your lap.
At one stage Mogg's car was going to be extremely overloaded on the trip
back to Melbourne due to her mentioning that her parents had hinted at the
possibility of grandchildren (she could have our cherubs for as long as
she wanted them), and the cutenessness of the mini's winning another heart
(they would just about fit in the back seat). From subsequent emails it
looks like we could have stuffed Katie into the boot as well, though
fitting a 16.1 hand horse into the boot might have required a modicum of
amputation to make it fit.
Considering the size of my car, fitting three children and two ponies
back seat might have been difficult as well. Not to mention the issue of
where I'd put them all when I got them home - I suppose the cherubs could
have been stacked on shelves...
Conversations included (not exclusively, entirely, or in order of
conversation or preference): people from the list, online v real life (tm)
and what the ones we knew were really like (curses for missing out on the
other Admeet that happened a while ago); Pterry books, characters, plots,
etc; Life, what's it all really about; medical devices that go "ping";
Parents and Grandparents, or families in general; Pets of all shapes and
descriptions; and I'm not exactly certain but I think that unusual holiday
destinations may have been in there as well.
Those machines haunt me, even when I'm on holiday. The week after this I
went to Sydney to visit my sister and her fiancee and spent a fairish
of time in a hospital when said fiancee ended up there for a period of
I suppose that counts as an unusual holiday destination?
Herein ends the reading from the book of LOOM, chapter 12, paragraphs 5 -
12, sub-paragraphs and appendices at your own discretion .
 suppressed by popular demand
-- courtesy of Mogg, a trifle distracted of late.
3. NEIL GAIMAN AND THE FLORIDA WITCHES
I´m currently ambling through Neil Gaiman´s latest, titled "Anansi Boys,"
and came across an interesting quote. In a scene with four old
Floridian ladies practicing what looks like witchcraft comes a comment
from one of them.
The recipe calls for a number of herbs to which the lady with them says
"mixed herbs ..... It´s what I always use when the recipe says
basil this or oregano that. I can´t be doing with it. You ask me, it´s
all mixed herbs."
Sound a bit familiar? It would seem Mr Gaiman has learned a bit from
Also, you should check out this interview with PTerry. Well worth the
If you did not get all 3 parts, write: jschaum111@...
End of Part 1, says my computer -- continued on Part 2 of 3