This is ABSOLUTELY the last word on chain letters.....Forward this
to every turkey that has ever sent you a chain letter!!!
NOW EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME:
"I won't get bad luck, lose my friends, lose my mailing lists, hear
any music or see a cool pop up screen if don't forward this.
Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria's Secret doesn't
know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me
and Ford will not give me a 50% percent discount even if I HAVE
forwarded my e-mail to more than 50 people.
I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons or freebies from
Coke, Cracker Barrel, or Old Navy if I send this to 10 people who
don't know who the heck I am anyway.
I will NEVER see a pop up window if I forward this....NEVER!!!!
My phone will not MYSTERIOUSLY ring after I forward this.
There is NO SUCH THING as an Email tracker, and I am not STUPID
enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding this
to 10 or more people.
There is no kid with cancer through the Make a Wish program in
England collecting anything. He did when he was 7 yrs old. He is now
cancer free and 35 years old and doesn't want any more postcards, of
get well cards.
The government does not have a bill in congress, that if passed will
enable them to charge us 5 cents for every sent e- mail.
There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flower,
character,or program immediately after I forward this. People are
just trying to talk me into doing it to make me look like a fool.
The American Red Cross will not donate 50 cents to a certain
individual dying of some never heard of before disease for every
email address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES
donations, they don't donate!
And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things on
to my friends for fear they will think I am not their friend...or by
telling me I have no conscience or don't believe in God. If God
wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will
burn before He picks up a PC to pass it along... but even if it does
come by e-mail, I'm SURE I will know it will be from Him,because He
will care enough to delete all those annoying forwarded's in it!"
Now, repeat this 4 times to yourself until you've memorized it and
then send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next
full moon or you will be constipated for the next 3 months.
"Add your name to position X, move the name in position Y to
position Z, send 200 copies of this letter to your closest personal
friends, and very soon you'll have no personal friends left!"
Don't believe the claims about legitimacy, folks. These things are
illegal, immoral, and probably fattening.
It Must Be True
I was on my way to the post office to pick
up my case of free M&M's sent to me
because I forwarded their e-mail to five
other people (celebrating the fact that the
year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals),
when I ran into a friend whose neighbor,
a young man, was home recovering from
having been served a rat in his bucket
of Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is
predictable, since as everyone knows,
there's no actual chicken in Kentucky
Fried Chicken, which is why the
government made them change their
name to KFC.
Anyway, one day this friend went to
sleep and when he awoke he was in
his bathtub and it was full of ice and he
was sore all over and when he got out
of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS
HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note
on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he
was afraid to use his phone because it
was connected to his computer, and
there was a virus on his computer that
would destroy his hard drive and infect
all the electronics in his house if he
opened an e-mail entitled "Join the
crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax,
because he himself was a computer
programmer who was working on
software to prevent a global disaster in
which all the computers get together and
distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus
cookie recipe under the leadership of
Bill Gates. (It's true - I read it all last
week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES
HIMSELF, who was also promising me
a free Disney World vacation and $5,000
if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I
The poor man then tried to call 911 from
a pay phone to report his missing
kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked
him to press #90, which unwittingly gave
the bandit full access to the phone line at
the guy's expense. Then reaching into the
coin return slot he got jabbed with an HIV
infected needle around which was wrapped
a note that said, "Welcome to the world of
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the
hospital - the one where that little boy who
is dying of cancer is, the one whose last
wish is for everyone in the world to send
him an e-mail and the American Cancer
Society has agreed to pay him a nickel
for every e-mail he receives. I sent him
two e-mails and one of them was a bunch
of x's and o's in the shape of an angel
(if you get it and forward it to more than
10 people, you will have good luck but
for 10 people you will only have OK
luck and if you send it to fewer than 10
people you will have BAD LUCK FOR
So anyway, the poor guy tried to drive
himself to the hospital, but on the way
he noticed another car driving without its
lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his
lights at him and was promptly shot as
part of a gang initiation.
Send THIS to all the friends who send
you their junk mail and you will receive 4
green M&Ms, but if you don't the owner
of Proctor and Gamble will report you to
his Satanist friends and you will have more
bad luck: you will get cancer from the
sodium laureth sulfate in your shampoo,
your wife will develop breast cancer from
using the antiperspirant which clogs the
pores under her arms, and the U.S.
government will put a tax on your e-mails
forever. I know this is all true 'cause
I read it on the Internet.
>* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for
removing toilet stains.
>* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle
infected with AIDS.
>* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they
>* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and
sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone
will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
>* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to
dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with
calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
>* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are
nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers
that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their
>* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I
will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
>* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot
she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a
nap in a bathtub full of ice.
>* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick
girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny
that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
>* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I
participated in their special e-mail program.
>* My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a
paid vacation to Disneyland.
>* But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain
that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.
So, if you don't send this on to 10 of your friends
>a bird will crap on you today at 7pm.
--- In XXXXXXXXXXXX@yahoogroups.com
> I really can't stand getting chain letters and forwards in my
why do I have to endure it from my yahoo groups?
I don't see death, only more life!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]