Every journey has to begin with a first step;
mine was the day I recognized myself as a sinner and I wept.
I wept because I saw the filthy sin abiding in me;
I wept because I saw that Jesus desired to set me free.
I wept because I'd never known unadulterated love;
I wept because I was being given an eternal home above.
I wept to wash away the filth by which I'd once been stained;
I wept since recognizing the new status in life I'd attained.
Attained not through any work I'd ever done,
no I attained it because of that loving act of God's own Son.
You see Jesus lovingly gave up His life for me,
so that I too could abide in Heaven throughout eternity.
I wept then for the joy that filled my soul,
and sometimes I weep when I think I may not reach the goal.
The goal my Heavenly Father had in mind as He created me,
the goal that He still intends to be my destiny.
The goal He pictured when He created the Great Master Plan,
the destiny he sees while molding me in His hand.
I weep when I neglect to surrender at the start of any new day,
because I realize I can't on my own live it His way.
I weep as I apologize for the mistakes I often make;
I weep when I accept the mercy offered for my sake.
I weep because I'm so blessed to know my Heavenly Savior,
and to have been forgiven my sinful behavior.
I weep for those who haven't had that opportunity yet,
as I ask God to help me their undivided attention to get.
I weep when I see my Malankara Church having no peace,
and generations falling into curse as a contageous disease.
I weep of seeing its people neither humble nor prayerful,
but jumping without a circle for their own position powerful.
To get their attention by sharing the salvation story,
so they too may choose to take part in Heaven's Glory.
I'll weep once more as I enter Heaven's Gate,
as I see again all of my loved ones who've gone ahead to wait.
But the most heart-rending weeping I'll ever do,
will be that first time Dear Jesus that I stand before You!
Bro. Paul Ciniraj,
Malankara Sabha Missionary)