Happy New Year, everyone. May this be a year of stength and
As the sun reaches down
to kiss the horizon,
I can hear it's soft
Tis like saying good-by
to an old dear friend
who taught me that
rain or shine,
wind or no.
cold or hot,
tired or rested,
there is a 'me'
that is timeless
A 'me' who can
watch that setting sun
....and who is witness
to the ebb of time.
So with this kiss goodby,
I open my arms
to the Stillness
Walking into the night
with arms wide open
that I may melt
into the great Unknown.
already the streets are blocked.
Sydneysiders are gathering on the sandy coves and grassy
cliffs surrounding surely, the most beautiful harbour in the
7 hours to go and already the city streets are jammed. Its
been raining heavily off n' on all week, but not to worry
we've been told :-) rain or no we'll have the biggest party
of the millennium showering our Harbour Bridge, yey, the
whole world, with billions of dollars......Hurrraaaayyyy
and i'm still freezin' by butt off over here ;-) its barely
sending loving healing rays to george harrison, meditating
with you greg and everyone.
This list is a hall of mirrors for me, each reflecting to
the others, with reflections in turn reflecting. All to the
*point* where, when focus is taken off of myself, my
cognitive senses can't distinguish between the real mirrors
and the reflections -- but only momentarily because, damn
it, there I am again, staring back at my silly selves!
I was and am still guilty of attempting to organize
nonduality. How can I organize something that, as Jerry put
it, is organizing me? The explanation is simple: I'm trying
to organize something that I've imagined is real and, to
begin with, I've objectified my imaginary nonduality!
(Objectification makes it possible to organize something,
right?.) How screwed up is that?
Hmmm... I've objectified something imaginary, so that I can
make all kinds of references in imagined experience in order
to apprehend my precious, imagined nonduality. One day in
the future, in my little spiritual hall of mirrors, I've
imagined that I have at last apprehended my imaginary
nonduality and, voila!, I'm enlightened! The only problem
is that it is a mere reflection of something imagined in the
first place. Oh man, somebody get me a doctor! I'm chasing
a tail that I don't even have!
I just wish some of you lived over here in Honolulu so that
I could reflect in living color with a *warm link* to this
community. Even when I'm offended (ahem...this todo with
Joshua is really killing me -- would you all just leave him
alone or keep that correspondence off the list?) at some of
the schlock I find here, well, I keep coming back to the
same point. All that is there can be used as a catalyst to
launch myself into uncharted (previously unimagined?)
territory. There is no need even for me to react the way I
I do, but hey...Wonderful.
(That was for you Sarlo!)
Crunching. What a wonderful word. Invokes memories of a
mouth full of granola high up in Tualomne Meadows. Now I
got poi on Sunset Beach. Sheesh, what a life.
Thanks to everyone for being a part of this hall of
mirrors. I'm upholding my imaginary friends. And that's my
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling quite over the
There are lots of creation stories accounting for the
genesis of the I-thought, or the I-feeling. But let's try
to look directly at the experience, setting aside the
theories for a moment... Check this out, see if it doesn't
conform with your experience.
The I-feeling and I-thought come up, say, if someone accuses
us wrongly (or rightly!) of doing something harmful. The
feeling might be a sense of localization or contraction or
burning in the chest, or in the pit of the stomach, or the
face, or behind the eyes in the center of the forehead, or
wherever. This might correspond, roughly speaking, to
"where" we think we are located, if we have such a notion.
What about the I-thought? The I-thought is the thought I
have of myself. It is a thought whose object is the entity
I take myself to be. After the accusation, it is this
supposed entity that seemed to be touched or hurt by the
How does this all relate to the mind? By examining our
experience, we cannot find a "mind" that is a holder or
container or controller of thoughts. All we find is
thoughts. We cannot even put our finger on a causal
process, whereby one thought causes another thought. What
we find is a series or stream of thoughts, one following
another. Even if we found what we take to be a cause, it
would be just another thought. Same thing for feelings and
bodily sensations -- all these appearances or experiences,
one simply follows another.
So where do the thoughts and feelings and sensations come
from, where do they go? Try, and we cannot find any such
place or source. If we did seem to find it, like AHAA!
It's HERE! Well, that would be another thought or feeling
or sensation. There is awareness before and between the
experiences, taking note of the coming and going of the
experiences. The experiences arise from this awareness, are
sustained in the awareness and subside back into the
awareness. But this awareness cannot itself be an
experience, because an experience cannot be aware of an
experience. So I cannot be any one of these experiences.
What I am is that to which these experiences appear -
I may not post very often, but I do take part in this
community as a reader, just enjoying the interactions. As I
read, I learn about myself, and I truly enjoy this
learning. Learning to me is 'bringing the unknown into the
realm of the known', and experiencing this process is a
joy. It is the experience of witnessing the process of
becoming and disappearing, being continuously at the point
where nothing is.
Of course, this learning is only enjoyable as a process, not
as a means to an end. It is not my objective to know the
unknown, this is impossible. The unknown has infinite
potential to make itself known, but cannot be known by
itself, for it is that which is cognizing this knowledge.
Still, this duality of known and unknown only exists from
the point of view of the known, they are not two different
things in my experience, but it is this play of becoming,
from unknown to known, that makes learning possible.
I just want to thank you all for all your inspirations, for
your knowledge and your wisdom, for your words, your
kindness and your undaunted confrontations and challenges.
I wish you a wonderful year 2000...
Now we continue with Sri Ramana's Forty Verses on Reality.
Each Verse is pregnant with meaning, method, and suffused
with direct insight.
35. To seek and abide in the Reality that is always
attained, is the only Attainment. All other attainments
(siddhis) are such as are acquired in dreams. Can they
appear real to someone who has woken up from sleep? Can
they that are established in the Reality and are free from
maya, be deluded by them?
36. Only if the thought 'I am the body' occurs will the
meditation 'I am not this, I am That', help one to abide as
That. Why should we for ever be thinking, 'I am That'? Is
it necessary for man to go on thinking 'I am a man'? Are we
not always That?
37. The contention, 'Dualism during practice, non-dualism
on Attainment', is also false.
While one is anxiously searching, as well as when one has
found one's Self, who else is one but the tenth man?
Note: The last verse makes reference to a well known story
in the Indian literature where each of the 10 people thought
there were only 9 people in the group left and that one had
been lost. This caused them great sorrow. The error in
counting was that the person counting others forgot to count
ANDREW AND JAN
The concise Oxford dictionary defines "compete" as "strive",
from Latin com petere; the prefix "com" meaning "with" and
"petere" meaning "seek", with a sense of striving after or
contending for something. Competition therefore is seeking.
"Surrender" is the prefix "sur" from French meaning over or
above and "rendre" or "render" meaning to give back. So
there is a sense of transcendent giving, of giving UP and of
giving something back, or giving something in return,
returning something to its rightful place. In this sense I
see it as giving up seeking, or in other words giving up
competing, ceasing to compete.
It is offering the ego as a sacrifice to be dissolved.
The act of surrender is the salt doll diving into the ocean.
"Com" - with, together, jointly
"Petere" - seek, strive, contend
"Panis" - bread
I am not seeking. Therefore I am not a competitor. I offer
to share. Therefore I am a companion.
Are you? This would imply identification. One's real
nature is without identification; because there is nothing
else but one's real nature, nothing remains to identify
with. One cannot help being seen as companion, friend,
passionate etc. by "others" but this is the response, these
"others" are evoking/interpreting. The universe is like a
giant pinball game and the balls always return to the one
who is imagining to be the player shooting them :) It isn't
necessary to find the cause for the play; ceasing to be the
player will do...
We are complete in ourself, no need to think we are some
thing or another.
I was reacting to Joshua's identification of human
relationship as competition, trying to suggest an
alternative way of seeing human relationship. Rather than
com-petition or shared seeking, striving or
asking(petition), which implys a perceived lack or wanting
or incompleteness, a supplication to some other, I suggest
com-panionship or sharing of our wholeness, of nourishment
of each other, breaking bread together. Bread being the
symbol of flesh, of our incarnate separate selves, offering
to share bread is offering the recognition of our oneness.
All identifications are self-fulfilling: interpret one's
facial expression as one of a grouch, respond to that and
you receive a grouch's behavior.
Know that every creature wants to be happy and respond to
that: the one with the facial expression of a grouch will
open up and confirm (by behavior) that everyone wants to be
happy :) By giving up all identifications, one will discover
life to be "fitting very well". As far as there remain
thoughts about "we", reflecting on the fact that "we" are on
the same playing ground is a great help in order to respond
sensibly. So if you know someone is presenting an
identification called Z, reflect on how to respond in order
not to receive Z back :)
When words ARE understood . . . silence follows
Only when I gave up all talk, all words, books, posts,
politics and agenda's...
I came to know You
My beloved, who were always so close to my heart. So near
to me that my senses overlooked your presence
Only now can I reflect You
Forgive my ignorance
This is I hear from (Ramana): Whatever means one takes -
meditation, self-inquiry, control of mind, breath, mantra,
bhakti, jnana, etc., with sincerity and persistence the
result is surrender of the false idea of a separate/dual
self to the eternal reality of one Self.
Some people say the original imagined idea of separation
arose when an angel "fell" into competition with God. I
say, the whole idea falls away when one surrenders to the
truth of the one Self.
One may appear to continue to exist in a world of forms
which seem to be joining with or competing against each
other. Without competition in consciousness however,
appearance is only appearance.
Another definition of surrender:
Giving up belief and involvement in appearances.
Thoughts and Realizations
New Year's Eve December 1999
How does one who succeeds in giving up striving, strive to
help others give up striving?
As one who has succeeded in giving up, I am puzzled by this
and other seemingly pertinent questions, on this, the dawn
of the 21st century.
Certainly, I fully expect that all such questions will be
answered eventually, as all previous questions have been
solved automatically by abiding.
However, this assumption does not ease the distance between
abiding and striving. The polarities involved, embody the
difficulty of abiding; that such a practice is not
detachment, nor ignoring, but the willingness to be
experiencing what is going on, to be tested, to maintain a
practiced tolerance, in the face of a changing array of
It is the constancy of this practice, which allows the
arising and the continuance of the context of self. It is
the ever-present context of self, which is the reminder of
the futility of trying to fix what is already ongoingly
On the other hand, it is the contrast between 'what is'
versus 'what should be' which is the driver of the momentum
to make better. It is the assumption that it is within my
grasp to make change occur, which is the permission to
attempt to act on the apparent evidence of deficiency.
The question arises in the face of changing circumstances or
conditions; does this 'new' circumstance require a movement
on my part? If I am to move, where am I moving from, and to
where would I move? If I have the context of self, I am
aware that everything that is happening is happening in this
'field' of self; I am thus aware that all movements are
actually my own movements; and thus I am aware that I have
the privileged position of not needing to move, for I am
As the observer of all of this movement, I recognize how
beautiful is this display; it is all done for me; I may play
or sit, as it suits me. I observe the dance, and I
eventually am infused with the beat. I see that it is the
beat of my own heart; this is the gift of abiding. My heart
is the whole universe, expanding. Awareness allows this
perception; this is the beauty of display. And all of this
is mine to have, to relish, to let go of. I am independent.
It is lonely to be free, but freedom is also the ability to
connect and share when I choose to do so. The menu of
opportunity is unending; it is a gourmet's smorgasboard of
delights. I choose to have choice. Choice is beyond
choices; choice allows choosing 'none', and still having
self as the continuing context of Being.
As I expand, I encompass more and more of what is; this is a
movement which is toward omniscience, or so it seems. By
avoiding the assumtion that I must conclude, I never stop
expanding. The constant challenge is the appearance of
ever-more-delightful circumstances; will I decide to 'get
off the train' at this point, which seems so satisfying? Or
will I abide, enjoying display, knowing display deeper and
deeper, realizing that it is myself which is revealing
itself, in this multifarius dance of attraction and
Is there ever a conclusion? Is there ever a stopping? Is
there ever a point at which all of this stops, to be
replaced by an imagined or visualized ideal, now held as a
goal? Is not the goal, the ideal, thevery motive which
offsets the oft-denied impulse to abide? Is abiding held
out as the last resort, to be implemented only after all
strategies have been found to be fruitless?
To abide... is to be filled with the 'energy' of what
passes through, once one stops running apace with
circumstance. It is similar in this regard, to the
electrical phenomenon known as 'induction'. In this effect,
a magnetic field _moves_ across a material which is capable
of conducting electrons; in this manner is 'electricity'
generated; electrons are excited to movement by the movement
of the magnetic field. The key to understanding this
analogy is to realize that it is the very difference between
the movements of the field and the conductor which is
responsible for the generation of power. I am pointing out
a relationship of relative velocity.
To abide is not to 'be still', for life itself is movement
which cannot be denied. To abide is to leave behind the
assumption that running apace with changing conditions will
result in anything but being jerked back and forth between
aversion and desire. It is the resumption of natural
momentum, which is the establishment of proper relative
velocity between self and Self; in this relationship, Self
inducts self; self is equalized by Self to Self. In this
relationship of movement, Self is greater power, which in
relationship with self-in-abiding, inducts into self, that
It is the resumption of natural momentum of basic life,
which enables this induction of power.
Now comes the understanding. In the beginning, we are
unconditioned, having only the basic human/mammalian
organism-specific response-patterns in place as _criteria_
for reaction to changing conditions. As we age, we garner
many social criteria, all of which generate reaction.
Now, as we understand the practical benefit of abiding, we
are able to resume adherance to the basic organismic values
of existence, in spite of the pushes and pulls of
socially-conditioned desire and aversion. It is this
abiding in the basic organismic values of existence, which
is the original condition of Being in existence. In this
voluntary abiding in and as the original condition, we are
able to accept, at long last, the original gift of natural
momentum, which is life itself.
To be at rest while moving, is the gift of abiding. To
allow the movement of self to be the movement of Self, is to
make peace with the apparent disparity displayed between
Self as 'outside' conditions, and self as the experience of
those conditions 'inside'. To know the fact that these
apparently differing conditons are different only to the
degree that we are ignorant of self, is to allow oneself to
be liberated from that disparity; to allow oneself to be
liberated from that veil of apparency, is to allow what has
been obscured, to be seen. And what is seen, is self.
I wish for you, the very best.
Millenia may pass, self remains...
Here in Tenerife, the best fireworks are still "high above"
and silent :)
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