I've been practicing self enquiry. It's exhausting and I'm
not sleeping well. What do you do to take a break, or are
you supposed to just keep pushing until something happens?
JAN responds to Larry
Give restoring the balance with a healthy workout a try,
like running/sport walking for an hour or so, watching
rhythm of breathing and steps.
ANDRE (aka OLDE FART) responds to Larry
I would say: keep pushing; but do it without expectations.
Don't become attached to a goal. That can be the entire
undoing of your effort.
JERRY responds to Larry
I feel that you could keep 'pushing' until something
happens. Yes, and you will either stick with it because it
is life and death to you and the only reason you are alive,
and because you have no choice BUT to inquire, or you will
give up the search and find something else to do on the
I feel that there could be loss of sleep, discomfort,
frustration, a seeming failure to progress in the course of
all this. There may be very challenging times. Therefore,
what Jan suggests is very important. Also plenty of rest, a
routine in life, good food, and the company of people who
understand, are some of the things you can control and will
need to look after.
Many here went through that type of inquiry alone without
support and came out of it okay. You should be able to
advance quickly, within three or four months, because of the
people here. So Larry, keep inquiring and make sure your
life is balanced and hang out with the right people, and
watch what happens.
DIANA responds to Jerry and Larry
Many Tibetan Buddhist lamas - advise moderation. You can
push if you want to. And certainly Intent is the key. But
the Buddha found that purely ascetic methods to awareness -
were not effective. So - maybe a middle path?
JERRY responds to Diana and Larry
Yes, intent is the key even when that key seems to fit no
place at all. A person is driven to know, hungry to know,
and that drive is the push. It can be tempered and moderated
and cooled down. If a person is a follower of Buddha, than
a middle path is appropriate. I suppose that's the
teaching. I called for balance in my letter. However I'm
simply and purely talking to Larry or anyone who is asking
Who am I?
There is only the inquiry, the one asking, the bare
existentiality of it. That's what I see and I say pursue it
and keep things together by living a balanced life.
PEON responds to everyone
Agreed but there is the tale of the student and Sage talking
as they walkled and the student asked "Had badly do I need
to desire Awakening"?
Coming to a river the Sage shoved the students head beneath
the water for a couple moments until he believed he would
As the student gasped for air the Sage said "That is how
badly you must want Enlightenment",
peon...yet is surrender the key(:~}
XAN responds to Larry
I'm not sure what you mean by 'pushing' or what exactly you
have been doing in your self-inquiry. I can share my
experience with you.
When the practice of inquiry is primarily mental, verbal or
located in the head it can be frustrating. Also an
expectation of something happening can get in your way. It
becomes a lot simpler when one is willing to just see what
is here in this moment between or beneath thoughts,
sensations and expectations.
A friend once said "What you are looking for is that which
is doing the looking."
For me, the verbal question "Who am I" faded away into just
looking, and then into just feeling. The less we try, the
more obvious becomes recognition.
There's a book called Relaxing Into Clear Seeing by Arjuna
Nick Ardagh who awakened through self-inquiry also. Just
the title is a give-away.
XAN: "Love waits for you everywhere."
ANDRE: Love is a polarity with hate.
They are a duality.
XAN: Love with no object is our pure and original condition.
I have taken to calling it
BRUCE: Actual love has no opposite.
It is literally incomparable.
Anecdotes of Ramana Maharshi.
Grant Me Salvation, Swami
One afternoon a lady from Kumbhakonam sat near Bhagavan and
exclaimed: "How glad I am that I have met you, Swami. I
have craved to see you for a long time, Swami. Not that I
want anything, Swami. Only please be kind and grant me
salvation, Swami." With that she got up and went away.
Bhagavan had a hearty laugh. "Look at her - all she wants
is salvation. Give her salvation, she wants nothing else."
I said: "Is it not what we all want ?"
He replied: "Is salvation something to be handed over on
request ? Do I keep bundles of salvation concealed about
me, that people should ask me for salvation ? She said 'I
do not want anything.' If it is sincere, that itself is
salvation. What is there I can give and what is there they
can take ?"
Thats exactly the point, grace is always there.
When one suddenly becomes aware in presence of Ramana it
appear as if there was direct transmission.
Who or what was being transmitted to whom?
Thats exactly what Ramana says in his reply.
For a nondualist, Kundalini isn't important; surrender,
intuiting and grasping are sufficient as this can lead to
the "first flash". Kundalini merely effectuates nonduality
(Sat_Cit_Ananda) in mind and body literally:
first, by making conscious of what *hinders* and then, by
"burning" it out. This has to be understood as a dynamic,
autonomous process that will do *anything* to continue, be
it the production of extra neurons to enable additional
understanding or the provisions, forcing one to
circumambulate the Himalayas 1,000,000 times on bare knees
:)) Non-understanding this "works" just as well and is
Knowledge of the chakra system is totally irrelevant,
suggested by the disagreement on for instance the number of
chakras and their colors, as given by different sources.
The analogy: One can drive a car without being a
car-mechanic, one can use the PC without being a programmer
or hardware designer. Only when a problem arises a mechanic
What cannot be denied is that regarding one's "human
interface", it is possible not to be conscious of its
behavior like a compass needle moving to the "tunes" of the
magnetic fields resulting from the electrical currents
caused by Kundalini. To stretch the analogy a bit further,
fields can interact in many ways :)
What has a "beginning" must have an "end"; this is
applicable to Kundalini as well. When the "end" doesn't
coincide with the death of the body, it leaves the
impossible paradox of Sat_Cit_Ananda and a living body, no
longer subjected to the limitations of the three states or
to feel pain.
Understandably, this paradox which both is and isn't, can
neither be described nor explained. Yet it is the
foundation of all scriptures.
35 Years ago Now
I am a foetus in my mother's womb,
Now, 35 years ago. 35 years ago, Now.
Curled up I am, and the error is reversed.
No more ignorance, no more delusion, I reach back;
No more error, no more mistakes, I reach forward;
Love, pure love, takes Me.
Love, pure love, is Me.
I am Gone.
I am not born; the body was stillborn.
My mother had no child;
My brother had no brother.
My sister had no brother.
My father had no son.
My friends do not know Me.
My family has forgotten Me.
My friends never knew Me.
The universe has lost Me.
Eternity has forgotten Me.
Ignorance dissolves; I am Not.
Curled, I vanish into Being.
Now, 35 years ago. 35 years ago, Now.
A belief in heaven or good if *not an obsessional belief*
can be used as a useful framework for "those of us still
mired in comparison" without being in the least bit
sanctimonious. But a systemized theology of opposites can
For example if i have a strong belief that all good must be
balanced by evil then i bind myself to a system of thought
that is extremely limiting. In such a system even good
becomes suspect. We intellectualize for example that if
there is good there must be evil etc... and believe these
contrasts to be root assumptions in our reality, but how
deeply are we questioning whether they are purely
superficial distortions and misused intellectual abilities
that wants things explained in neat packages.
Has it prevented an understanding of the facts? the facts
of inner unity of oneness of interconnections and of
cooperation. Is this why most of humanity never experiences
harmony and oneness where opposing factors merge. To me a
belief in good (whilst I still hold beliefs) and that all
existence is blessed, is highly realistic and prepares me to
better understand the nature of reality.
Have you run across this cool stuff yet?
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