ND Highlights for Thursday, Sept 9, 1999
I wonder, if ultimately, what we are attracted to or repulsed by (even
ideas or spiritual teachings, or our interpretation of those teachings,
etc.), might be reminding us indirectly that we need to in some way become
more accessible to the pull of the Absolute, that magnetic attraction to our
own Center. Only that reminder, that nudge, that thought is enough. Even at
a feeling level, not always amenable to clear expression, it is enough.
Perhaps that is a preface for allowing that powerful force of surrender to
the Divine to come into play.
All attempts at understanding are after all with the mind. How far can one
go with that? Far enough, I suppose. But if you go far enough, you will come
to an edge and if by Grace you are pulled into the Heart, that is always
calling, you (along with your attempts to understand) will surely disappear.
The terror of total and complete loss of identity ends in the Knowing that,
Self It Self is the Totality and the Identity, and That is the Clarity and
the Bliss without any support what so ever, and utterly, eternally complete.
That, the ancient sages and scriptures tell us is the Heart, which requires
no support, which has no cause, but which supports all the play of
consciousness as the background. Indeed, all consciousness arises from it,
as the Heart It Self is That.
Here Reality is Known and Recognized (through It Self and by It Self) as
always shining in Its Natural Form by Its own Light. This is the Silence
which is immovable, and in perpetual communion with It Self. It is the
Center and the Circumference. Call it God, call it Self, call it No Self,
call it Emptiness, or call it the Void, call it Beyond God and Self and No
Self, or call it something else, or even coin a new term perhaps to suit the
times. What difference can it make at that point? To Know It, is to Be It.
The mind cannot contain it or completely obscure it, as the mind sprouts up
from only That. The essential and diffused �I� nature of the mind, when
looked for, disappears and the Heart as Awareness become apparent. Sages
like Ramana say that, That Is the Truth, that You are the Truth. Know it
with the finality of your Being.
The search and demand for attention is avoidance of attending.
The demand for you to give me personal attention is a demand
to maintain my personality as focus. With personality as focus,
I can remain in the status quo, allowing myself the comfort of avoiding
> I lost the courage to look myself in the eye, and to
> allow the rest of you to 'see me'.
> I began to identify with the posts I was writing, and
> developed an investment (attachment) to having them
> heard 'correctly'. :-)
> I lost sight of my resolution to stay naked.
> Instead I became resolved 'to be heard'.
> And it became, for a while, more important than
> standing free.
> When I'm naked (free and centered), I could care less if
> anyone hears me.
Thanks. As I see it, what you're making painfully clear from
a personal point of view is something that almost has to be
gone through from moment to moment. That constant release,
until it isn't even noticed and appears to not be happening
anymore. Your immunity was down. Normally that crap is
constantly being eaten up. I'm having flashbacks now to
posts from Gene and Andrew. We're up to our asses in
geniuses here. I just feel like saying, "Enlightenment is
default," for no particular reason.
I have given up - sort of - caring whether or not anyone hears me.....but I
haven't given up wanting to be heard
Lately I have been wondering, "why do I think I need to be heard in the
first place?". Now, I am thinking, maybe that's the wrong question. Maybe
I should ask "Who is that needs to be heard?". Sometimes I have fights
with my husband and it's been so important to me that he "hear" me. Well,
it's not working so ... I'm in the corner. Then I now wonder, if I am so
hung up on being heard, maybe I am not really listening. Just once I did
listen to his insult of me. It hurt but I was resolute not to react with
my ususal retort. I watched all the thoughts wanting to fight back. When
I didn't dive blindly into the anger, I felt the pain. But what was
interesting was I also saw his pain and his words to me were more about him
than ever before. And I felt the compassion and there was a bit of softness.
Just something your words reminded me of.
...we always get what we need when we give up wanting
what we want...and listen past the form to the substance.
I think it is all really fear. I am still getting these intense surges of
terror when I approach certain questions about myself. I cannot explain
this terror. It's just there as a response to some thoughts.
I also remember that when thought is given up, life is formless and
continuous. Not fragmented. Love ceases to be an emotional experience and
is a state of being.
Wanna know the STORY?
Wanna know the PARADOX OF THE STORY?
Enlightenment is such a paradox because if I look at the "story of Mira", if
I look at the pictures and memories of what went by, then yes, I must admit
that at some point in time definitely something happened. Something
"cracked" or "broke" or "snapped" or "reversed" or...... I don't know.
A point where I discovered mySelf. Or rather the one that was doing all the
discovering. The one in which the wole "story of Mira" appears.
The big joke of this discovery was, that that was the way it always had
been. That that had been the perspective all along. I was always this one,
despite "Mira's story". Mira's story hadn't even effected it.
So, how could I say, now I am awake and before I wasn't?
It is both true and not true.
Perhaps it is closer to the truth to describe it as: I was always myself, I
just took myself to be something else for a while.
From: David Hodges
"Words are valuable for between the word and its meaning there is a link
and if one investigates the word assiduously, one crosses beyond the
concept into the experience at the root of it. As a matter of fact, such
repeated attempts to go beyond the words is what is called meditation.
Sadhana is but a persistent attempt to cross over from the verbal to the
"Be satisfied with watching the flow of your life; if your watchfulness is
deep and steady, ever turned towards the source, it will gradually move
upstream till suddenly it becomes the source. Put your awareness to work,
not your mind. The mind is not the right instrument for this task."
"What you need for your salvation is already within your reach. Use it.
Investigate what you know to its very end and you will reach the unknown
layers of your being. Go further and the unexpected will explode in you and
[Questioner: Does it mean death?]
It means life - at last."
All that you love is within you. All that you hate is within you. Find
out what you are, and you will know what I am. I am in your heart: you are
in my heart. No difference, just a verbal play.