Tuesday, Feb. 7, 1764
SPUGGING- I fancy he never heard or thought of, as 'twas not practis'd during
his Existence, it being a new invented Method for employing Time; nor did I
(tho' I'm impertinently perhaps prying into the Concerns of the Ladies) ever
hear of it, till within these four or five Months last. This Amusement is, viz.
About two or three o'Clock in the Morning a Company of Males and Females meet,
they are always of the better Sort of People; inshort (as the Phrase is)
Gentlemen and Ladies, for this is an Entertainment practis'd by none else, 'tis
too refin'd and polite for vulgar Creatures to experience its beauteous
Delicacies, or know any Thing of it; I say they meet after all the old People of
the House, Pappa, Mamma, &c. have comfortably enjoyed their first Naps, and
after a little hoydening go to Tea, Coffee, &c. commonly too the Spuggers regale
themselves with a chearful Glass of Wine or Punch after Tea; and then (to
settler their Heads) feast upon Mutton-Chops, or Beef-Stakes, which Mrs.
Superstition (the Lady of the House) never once dream'd of, tho' she has
frequently a Fore-knowledge (by Dreams) into Futurity, and knows of very
remarkable Occurence that happens in her Family, and indeed she imagin'd
sometime before one of her Daughters threw herself away, that a Gentleman in a
Blue-Coat kiss'd her, which she always knew was a certain Sign of Deceit or
Falshood; but to the Spuggers, after a vast deal of Playing extinguishing the
Candles, &c. as you'll see concerning the She-Romps in the 2?7th Number of the
Spectater, differing in this Respect, that the She-Romps did not permit Male V
????? to enter their Club, whereas a Spugg, could not be without that Lordly
Creature Man to grace it.
I must go now to enumerate the many vile as well as melancholy Consequences
which have already attended Spugging; let it suffice to say, that if a Gentleman
proves rude to a Lady (in the Dark) she has no Remedy except she chuses to
forfeit the Pleasure of her Parents; calling out, or making a Resistance or
Noise may disturb the old People, &c. &c. &c. I think in the Whole Ladies, by
these kind of nocturnal or (I should say) early Revelings and Visitings, hazard
their Reputations (with some specious Reasons indeed) to the malicious Censure
of every wicked Tea-Table surrounded by Matrons too old to share in those
Doeish, out of the Way Sports. We have even many gay LOTHARIOS amongst us,
Who talk of Beauties that they never saw,
And fancy Raptures that they never knew.
who think it no Crime to boast of being till such an Hour in the Chamber of a
fair Lady; and by their Gesturesd, Winks and Nods will intimate the Worst that
could possibly happen on such Occasions.
Were you ye Fair but cautious whom you trust,
Did ye but know how seldom Fools are just,
So many of your Sex would not be in vain
Of broken Vows, and faithless Men complain, &c.
I'm pretty sure there are many Girls who are fond of Spuggs.
Sweet virtuous innocent with ev'ry Grace
That e'er adorn'd that latest softest Race,
But, Gentlemen, a Woman ought not only to be virtuous, but all the Earth
should think her so; a Female might as well in reality be a Prostitute as
imagined so, that is in this World, in the next there's indeed an immense
Difference. What a shocking Creature a Woman is who has lost her virgin
Innocence? She is a poor Wretch (as Mr. Roe says) "Scorn'd by the Women, and
pittyed by the Men; oh! insupportable a Woman cuts as despicable a Figure
depriv'd of her Honour, as a Man does who is branded with the odious Name of
Rascally Coward. 'Tis just the same Case, a Woman's Honour is center'd in her
Virtue, and a Man's in his Courage and Resolution.
Now if Ladies employed their leasure Hours in reading, working or Household
Matters (which ought never to be left unheeded by the Female Sex, let them be
ever so grandly oppulent) 'twould turn out more to their Advantages, and get
them match'd off sooner than labouring at their Indianlike or rather Savage
Custom of Painting, also Patching, Scouring, Adorning, Admireing, Spugging,
Gadding, Villifying, with various other numerous Absurdities, which they are
unhappily guilty of, and are indeed incident to _________.
I almost forgot to mention one of the important Ceremonies made use of by
the Spuggers; after they have finish'd their within Door Work, they (however
incredible to believe) sally into the Streets, (Men and Women) and with their
horrid Screaming, Bauling, Laughing, and Singing alarm the whole Town, and
disturb honest Trades-Folks who were beguiling the Labours of the foregoing Day,
in sweet and peaceful Slumber. In a short Time the Women will grow more
shameless than ever Men were; and those of the Masculine Gender (like Cambyses)
will gradually fall into unmanly Sloath and Italian Effeminancy, and betake
themselves to the Distaff, and Needle-Work, which the Offspring of Eve have now
entirely thrown aside, and diligently taken to the more reigning Employments,
and modish Qualification of _____.
Placing Raillery in Railing,
Will tell aloud your greatest Failing,
Nor makes a Scruple to expose
Your bandy Leg, or crooked Nose.
Can at her Morning Tea run o'er
The Scandal of the Day before,
Improving hourly in her Skill,
To cheat and wrangle at Quadrille,
In chosing Lace a Critick nice,
Knows to a Groat, &c. &c.- See the Furniture of a Woman's Mind in
Swift's Works.-- Vol. 2d
I am Gentlemen, yours, &c.
January the 28th 1764. A CENSOR.
Cathy Joynt Labath
Ireland Old News