From PIQUE, the newsletter of the Secular Humanist Society of New York,
March issue, in honor of St. Patrick's day, which is on March 17...
An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods.
Looking for his ball, he found a leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on
his head and the golfer’s ball beside him.
Horrified, the golfer got his
water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving
“Arrgh! What happened?” the leprechaun asked.
“I’m afraid I hit you
with my golf ball.”
“Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three
wishes, so whaddya want?”
“Thank God, you’re all right!” the golfer says. “I
don’t want anything, I’m just glad you’re OK, and I apologize.”
As the golfer
walks off, the leprechaun thinks, “What a nice guy. I’ll give him what I’d want
– a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex
A year goes by (as it does in stories like this) and the American
golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and
the leprechaun is there waiting for him.
“’Twas me that made ye hit the ball
here,” the little guy says. “I just want to ask ye, how’s yer golf game?”
game is fantastic!” the golfer answers. I’m an internationally famous golfer
now.” He adds, “By the way, it’s good to see you’re all right.”
“Oh, I’m fine
now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. Tell me, how’s yer money
“Why, it’s just wonderful!” the golfer says. “When I need cash, I
just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 bills I didn’t even know were
“I did that too. And tell me, how’s yer sex life?”
blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, “It’s
“C’mon now,” urges the leprechaun, “I’m wanting to know if I did a good
job. How many times a week?”
Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then
whispers, “Once, sometimes twice a week.”
“What?” exclaims the leprechaun,
“Well,” says the golfer, “I figure that’s not bad for a
Catholic priest in a small parish.”