--- In firstname.lastname@example.org
Thanks for taking the time from your busy life right now to write
your post. I agree with most of what you covered here!
Regarding your post that you think went missing in action on
ESA--well, it was posted when you sent it but I guess you can't
find it amid the other posts.
Your post is digest #2662, dated June 25, 2007.
Mish responded to it on June 30, digest #2705
I do think some posts can become lost when sent--has happened to
me before, but this is not the case with your post. It is there on ESA.
Hope you don't mind but I'm going to crosspost this message which
also contains your post to ESA.
--- In email@example.com
, "Sharon" <brighttigress@>
> Hi Everyone!
> Wow!!! This is almost like a.r.e., back in the old days when I
> first landed there! <gg>
> Okay, I'll try to be organized and coherent. And I'm posting this
> here at ET rather than ESA because I happen to be here at ET. And I
> won't feel like taking the extra time to crosspost.
> First of all, I'd like to apologize to Marla for never responding.
> Anymore, I feel that just because I "own" ET, that doesn't mean I
> have to participate. I *was* horrified to see your real name,
> though!! I used my own name when I first got on the internet
> because I didn't know any better. <gg> But, when I first
> saw "MarlaSobbing" I thought wow, what a great screen name! It
> would make a great book title, except it sounds like one of those
> Harlequin romances I never allowed my daughter to read as a kid.
> All that romantic find-your-prince stuff is garbage that rots young
> women's minds. I believe young ladies should focus on becoming
> queens in their own right before even *thinking* about finding their
> king, who should then be a co-ruler! Anyway, a book titled "Marla
> Sobbing" I'd hope would have a very nice ending and turn out to
> be "Marla Triumphant"!
> Marla, lots of men are total jerks but ekult HIs are often jerkier
> than non-cult jerks. I've heard variations of your story so many
> times that anymore I just sort of blank out, just like I tend to
> blank out when I'm reading *anything* "e", pro or con. Most of them
> stay private, though. I think it's good to "out" scumbags
> everywhere, though. Right here at ET, back in the archives, you can
> find several similar stories - there's Doug Kunin's ex-wife, although
> in public she didn't post gory details. And Wendy - that one had a
> happy ending. She reconciled with her noneck husband - she wasn't
> an eckist; the problem there was an eckist female who was interfering
> & trying to "get" Wendy's husband - oh, they were divorced but
> working on getting back together. And there was the young lady who
> wrote about how her eckist father left his noneck wife for an eckist
> he met at a seminar, and in dreams - his journals revealed the wacky
> fantasy life he'd been living for many years. The stories are
> endless. Leaf's "integrity" post was great. I get more disturbed
> about the child-molesting that gets covered up than I do about adult
> Anyway, I've been very busy so hadn't really been keeping up with all
> the posts at both ET & ESA, just yesterday I went thru all my unread
> digests. Most of it goes in the eyes and right out the ears, I'm
> sorry to say. My "hard drive" is full and crashed. <gg> And I've
> had some personal correspondence with some of the parties involved,
> and just learned that evidently there was a bit of problematic
> private email floating around even before I got "involved".
> Oh - one little thing! There's often a *big* difference between
> veterans of a.r.e. and those who've traveled a gentler path "out".
> I'm laughing here, because last week I *did* respond to one ESA
> digest I happened to open & skim. I do my internet stuff in the
> morning as I'm waking up. And just yesterday I realized the post I
> sent to ESA got deleted or something. At least, I think so. The
> more Yahoo "improves" groups, the less I'm able to navigate & read
> them the way I'm used to, in nice chronological order. Sometimes I
> seem to get bounced around elsewhere. Not important - anyway, my
> post was suited more to a.r.e. and when I sent it I thought uh-oh,
> this is more of an "a.r.e." post, but I *did* think it was funny!
> I'll repost it here, I think I sent it from email so there should be
> a copy. Hey, I have *no* problem with my posts getting nuked!! <gg>
> A year from now, *none* of this will matter and it'll all be
> forgotten. I think everyone does the best they can. And, we all
> have our good & bad days. Liz, I'm not picking you out specifically
> but I did see one post to Marla that could've been taken as a wee bit
> nasty, except here on the internet it's hard to really know what a
> person means. We can't hear tone of voice and see the body
> language. So, when we're reading, sometimes we can take any
> particular post in several different ways. I can see where your
> words may have seemed harsh and uncaring, but I can also see them in
> a different way.
> Everyone heals in their own way, at their own pace. Oh, I just had
> a thought - "Moms" have their own particular style in dealing with
> situations and sometimes, no matter how much we love our kiddies,
> we've gotta be a bit "firm" with them. This style can pop out when
> we deal with other people, but it doesn't always "work" the same
> Someone mentioned paranoia? <gg> Hey, that's *not* unusual - those
> eckthugs can be really nasty & sneaky, and really do very nasty and
> horrible things. When I went to a.r.e. as an eckist back in '98 and
> got invited to join the "Group of Online Eckists", I was
> *horrified*!! The behind-the-scenes stuff in the "EckGestapo" was
> one of the things that woke me up and got me out. They were a
> *very*paranoid bunch, with their tracking headers to find people's
> identities, and the nasty way they carry this internet stuff into
> real life to go after exies and try to silence them. And I think
> it's been many years since they pulled that "cloning" crap - posting
> stuff using "detractor" names to try to discredit them. Now, as far
> as I know, "detractors" don't try to "infiltrate" and sneak into
> eckgroups, but this is something eckists do frequently - not just
> in "groups", but in sneaky phony private emails. This is the "Way
> of THE ECK", though. Spying. A tradition started by the Twitchster -
> in fact, geez, let me remember - got it!! Chad/Mick Roche!!!
> Here at ET, back quite awhile, he posted about how he'd gone to a
> Christian seminar or something to "spy".
> Over the years, I've often thought how easy it is to slip into doing
> the same nasty things the eckthugs do.
> I really try to look at myself objectively, and avoid that.
> But....I often fail to live up to my own high standards. Hey, we're
> *all* human!!
> Anyway, at this point I'm still a tad bit confused over the whole
> thing and it's all trying real hard to float away.
> One problem with "groups" - I mean *all* groups, not just the "ex"
> groups - even when a group has a specific "purpose" and focus, when
> people get yakking we get "off track" and go off in tangents, whether
> or not the group's specific focus is clearly stated. Now, here at
> ET I have a *very* low tolerance for anything "eckie" - okay, an
> example is Zoey - where you wrote something about how Marla should
> make up her mind about eckists & eckankar *from* eckists and
> eckankar, or something like that. Zoey, you'd "joined"
> and "rejoined" here so your recent posts sounded perhaps a wee
> bit "ecky" to me, but I just approved them quickly & didn't think
> much. I used to be able to remember everyone and everything they
> ever posted, almost verbatim. Plus their kids' & pets' names.
> <gg> I *do* try to at least remember names with either "eck"
> or "non eck" labels, though. You'd already been "filed" under "non-
> eck", so even tho I didn't quite understand some of your posts, I
> approved them anyway.
> Let me say here, being an owner/moderator can really suck bigtime!!
> And sometimes it will *really* look like different names are the same
> people. Well, that's not surprising since there are only so many
> words in the English language!
> Anyway, I've spent too much time on this and I'm starting to wake up
> and want to do something else.
> I just want to say, hey, stuff happens! And everyone makes
> mistakes. All of us goof up one way or another, and misunderstand
> and misinterpret and get misunderstood and misinterpreted, and coming
> or going, we don't always communicate clearly, plus our moods change,
> and everything else.
> Back at my son's elementary school, when two kids had a problem, they
> had to go in the little back room and sit on the old horsehair
> loveseat until they resolved it, and hugged.
> My "favorite" group is "X". Not a lot going on, but what *does* get
> posted is generally really excellent!!
> Leaf, you can do no wrong. And if you *should* happen to do wrong,
> which I've never seen, it's still all right. <gg> Thinking about
> it, yeah, I seem to recall a few times when I absolutely did *not*
> agree with you....but, so what? Prometheus (your name is too long,
> pick a shorter pseudo!!!), I *love* that you're putting out "secret
> stuff" for all too read, and pointing out the "crap". And I wish
> BOTH of you would do websites!!!!! There's just no way I
> can "compile" you two and so many other "greats" when I finally *do*
> get around to doing all the new website material I need/want to do.
> Another thing I'm thinking - and it's something I did when I first
> started as an eckist back at a.r.e., and bounced a private/personal
> email attack from Alf back to a.r.e., in public, where I think it
> belonged. We worked it all out. Private correspondence is often
> good & necessary, but on the whole, I think "public" is better,
> because all that behind-the-scenes stuff can get a bit mixed up.
> I've gotten the impression that there was some "private" stuff
> involved here.
> Uh-oh, woke up too late. I'm in the process of moving plus doing a
> several-family yard sale in *my* yard, which is a big distraction -
> this is truly the week (month!) from hell, and then *this* on top of
> it!! Arrggghh!! Mostly I feel bad because I can't give this the
> attention it deserved, but I've been neglecting ET & everything &
> everyone for a long time anyway. Let's face it, the whole great big
> highly organized Anti-Eck Movement/Conspiracy will totally fall out
> without my guidance and wisdom!! <gggg>
> The thing is, right now all of this seems like a big important deal,
> but in a year no one's going to remember. Hopefully!! <gg>
> Honestly, I've had "experiences" here on the internet way more than
> once, thought something was absolutely *horrible* and I've never live
> thru it or live it down, but as time passes it's not a big deal. You
> know, like all the various traumas everyone has in high school!
> On the other hand, there's a lot of very serious stuff we're involved
> in, too. Very serious issues. Being touched by a cult in *any* way,
> whether it's knowing a member or being a member yourself, has serious
> effects. And some of them affect you for the rest of your life, if
> only in a small way, or ways we're not even aware of.
> Okay, I just got "invaded" so I've gotta get off the computer right
> now!!! My precious Codybear is a joy, but everyone else is a
> nuisance & a distraction. I hope I've somehow managed to write
> something useful here, considering I've been only half-focused and
> half-asleep as I've written it.
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