It seems like the responses and advice to this post of yours were
very good. There are many resources that can be looked at to
discover what one needs in order to find one's own inner truth. Life
is difficult at various times for everyone, and sensitive people and
spiritual seekers have it much more difficult than those controlled
by their egos. But one should never give up, and never surrender!
And yet one must give up and surrender the things that prevent us
from growing and knowing who we truly are and why we are truly here.
One must also discover these truths on their own (mostly) and not
through another's truth. We can help each other, but only up to a
certain point. The responsibility to live, share and discover life's
mysteries and meaning lies without and within each Soul. In some
respects as long as one does no harm (at all) to others or to
oneself then that makes any experience into a spiritual lesson. You
must relax and enjoy the journey and not be in such a rush. There is
no race to God-Realization because God-Realization is in the clarity
of the moment. If one rushes around desparately looking here and
there then one can miss seeing the subtlies and changes that help us
see through the illusions. Yes it is all illusion, but there is also
the reality of Truth surrounding the illusion. The fact that you are
honest with yourself and have doubts and questions shows that your
ego is not so strong as to blind you from higher Truth. I think that
you are closer to answering your own questions than you think.
>>So I guess my question for you guys is: What the hell IS out
there, in your opinion, that you can trust and work with, > I am at
a loss, and I feel very frustrated and tired at this point. I really
don't know where to turn anymore. I hope that someone out there can
say something that will help guide me in the right direction.