> I drove home feeling more empty than a new 6th initiate should. What was I
> expecting? What went wrong? Wasn't I suppose to feel full of life and a
> new found sense of realization?
> Looking back, when doing my assignment with the book "Anatomy of the spirit"
> I didn't go from being an eckists to following any particular traditions,
> which was referenced in the book to include Judaism, Christianity, and
> Hinduism. As Carolyn Myss shared these paths hold in common essential
> teachings about seven specific levels of spiritual development, the stages
> of power in life. So I wasn't shifting from one path to another.... Hmmm
> I take that back. I did shift from one path to another.... Only it wasn't
> anyone else's path, it was mine. I tried for several more years to explain
> this new path to eckists and non eckists alike. This new path that only I
> could walk. No one instructing me, no one guiding me, no books, discourses,
> spiritual exercises. BLANK
> I dropped everything I knew. I knew no thing....
> In 1999 a dear eck friend called and said, "Liz you need to get away from
> everything at home, come with me to the HI retreat". The drive there was a
> long, and for the most part silent one. She would look at me and ask, "is
> everything okay"? I would say sure... Smile and go back to my thoughts.
> At the retreat I attended several of the talks, workshops and activities
> scheduled that took us exploring nature, life outside etc... Some went on a
> the tall ship cruise, I went to the Big Bear Dunes. When we arrived, we
> had to take a nature trail to the dunes, and Lake. The temps there were
> much cooler, and it seemed like fog but was actually mist coming from off
> the Lake caused from the wind. The visibility was poor, and I thought to
> myself, is this a waking dream? ;-) By the time we arrived at he dunes, a
> small group of other eckists joined my friend and I. We all walked to the
> lookout boardwalk. So more adventurous tried to actually walk down the
> dunes to the Lake shore.... Rolled down was more like it.
> The beauty of the scene was nothing I had experienced. Through the mist was
> the Lake.... All you could see was the water, and hear the waves washing up
> to the shore, along with the wind whipping around the dunes, and our tiny
> bodies trying to stay warm. The sound was amazing.... Almost godly.
> After the field trip, we all headed back to the hotel for dinner. We sat
> around the tables laughing, and sharing our experiences from the filed trips
> I basically just listened and watch my fellow HI eckists. After heading
> back to the hotel rooms, my friend and I got freshened up, and put on our
> PJs. We laid in our beds chatting about family, life, and some how
> something was said that caused us to just giggle and giggle... I never
> laughed so hard in my life. Here were 2 grown women, acting like a couple
> School girls at a sleep over party. The guys in the room next to us could
> hear our laughing. One of them said "hey quiet down over there, some of us
> would like to sleep". Instead I knocked on the wall, and so did my friend.
> It became a "know 3 times type game". Soon they were laughing too, and we
> all ended up out of our rooms in our PJs running around in the halls goofing
> off, eventually finding a nice spot by the lobby fireplace to just sit and
> I spent nearly the entire weekend crying.... Everyone just looked at me
> like, "oh she must be working off something big time!" ;-)
> The last workshop I partisipated in, I shared with all of the other HIs that
> I was writting my own discourses. The facilitator (FB) scolded me for even
> attempting to do something only a Master can do.... I grew quiet, yet saw
> recognition in someone else's eyes. That was comforting.
> Back home, and back to life....
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