"How can we have compassion towards someone who harms us or our loved
ones? Compassion involves understanding the situation of others. It
asks us to put ourselves in the other person's shoes. "What is he
thinking? How does he feel? What makes him behave like this?" If we
do this with an open heart, we'll realize that the other person is
not happy, that he is not in control of his own mind but rather that
he is under the control of his own delusions, which only cause him
suffering. This will help us to understand that it is more
appropriate to respond with calm patience than with anger and the
wish to retaliate."
~ Ven. Sangye Khadro (Kathleen McDonald), The Four Immeasurables
May this be of benefit.