Hindrances to lovingkindness and compassion in relationship There was a wonderful paper that was written a few years ago by Seymour and Sylvia Boorstein forMessage 1 of 1 , Mar 13, 2005View Source
Hindrances to lovingkindness and compassion in relationship
"There was a wonderful paper that was written a few years ago by Seymour and Sylvia Boorstein for the Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, and it was called 'The Five Hindrances of Marriage.' It talked about the difficulties that the Buddha described in meditation -- desire, anger, restlessness, laziness or sleepiness, doubt -- and it describes the process of marriage as encountering these exact same forces. Desire for something else or better. Irritation and anger, especially when you discover that that person really isn't behaving in the way that you expected and hoped and planned for them, and all the irritation and frustration that comes from that. The third hindrance of sleepiness or laziness, discovering after awhile that one can get complacent in relationships. Or the opposite -- restlessness, the traditional Seven Year Itch; after a certain cycle in a relationship, one gets restless for something new or something different. And doubt. 'Is this the right person?' or 'Is this the right way to be living?' and the same forces which arise when one sits in meditation and tries to open one's eyes inwardly, and one's heart and mind seem to arise in relation to the people we're closest to, and all the other
people at distances from us.
"Can you recognize that? Can you see that there are parallels between the sitting and other things around? There are all kinds of stories that we make up about these states. 'He did,' and 'she did,' and 'I will,' and 'she should,' and so forth. It's useful to see that
those stories are based on kind of myths that we build about ourselves and the world, identities that are created mostly by thought, and, in fact, things are a lot simpler than that."
~ Jack Kornfield, "The Eightfold Path for Householders"
The entire lecture series can be downloaded at:
May this be of benefit.