Thank you for your Owner Review, your initial edits will follow. They will take the following format;
EDIT: must be changed
Edit: should be changed but will be left to your discretion
Comment: just that or something to think about
When you have made the changes please repost here with REPOST added to the subject line. Include your name also please.
We suggest people start with a smaller piece of gear to do their first review. Things like clothing, cookware, compression sack, something like that. This is because it is easier to get through while you are starting out. We don't suggest things like shelters, packs or electronics because there is so much to tell about them. You have chosen to review a tent. (One I know well, I had the 3-person version and the HP version of yours.) One thing you review is missing is the product description. This is needed for any review and for a tent review there is a lot of information to convey. If you want to go ahead with this review I will edit what is here, but you will need to add a Product Description section to the review to go forward.
Some very helpful information may be found here;
Please notice the form that the review should take in the "Examples", you may also wish to browse the reviews of other experienced members for examples of the proper form.
A helpful tool is the Mentoring Program that teams new reviewers with experienced veterans to help get them through their first review(s). If you'd like more assistance or guidance with the process you can request a mentor by sending an email to the mentor coordinator, Jenn, at mentor@...
EDIT: please spell out the state for the benefit of our international readers
***I am an avid outdoorsman and have been all my life. Grew up in Southwest Missouri on Table Rock Lake. <snip> We are trying to plan a trip to do 5 days in Yellowstone, I've been when I was a kid and really want my wife to experience it before we have kids.
EDIT: the hiker bio needs to be 100 words or less. I would suggest taking out your future plans/hopes as it really does not tell the reader about your hiking style, which the bio is meant for.
EDIT: you need to spell out the name at least the first time; Mountain Safety Research (MSR)
***Manufacturer's Website: http://cascadedesigns.com/msr
EDIT: just the top-level URL is wanted; http://cascadedesigns.com
***MSRP: US$329.95 + tax
EDIT: if the MSRP is not on the manufacturer's website we just mark this as N/A
***Listed Weight: 4 lb 8 oz
***Measured Weight:4 lb 8 oz
EDIT: you need Metric (or Imperial) conversions for all measurements, weights, distances, etc.
***4Other details:2 person, 3 season
EDIT: 2-person, 3-season
*** It was mid August , about 80 degrees Fahrenheit
EDIT: mid-August (and you need the Celsius conversion. Plus write the temps like this; 80 F, with no "degrees") Please look for all missing conversions throughout the review.
***Since that time we have spent probably 30 nights in the Hubba Hubba camped at our favorite spot on Flat Creek and a dozen or so in various other places throughout AR,MO and OK.
EDIT: all the state names need to be spelled out at least the first time you use them. If you put the abbreviations next to it in parenthesis you can then use those the rest of the time i.e., Arkansas (AR)
EDIT: has the tent been on any backpacking trips? When you say camping trips are these at campgrounds? We need to know how much backpacking use it has seen and the conditions on those trips please. Additional data from camping trips is fine, but secondary. We review backpacking gear with data from backpacking trips first and foremost.
***It can go even lighter if you want to you use just the rain fly and the footprint.
EDIT: We keep everything in the first person, no "you"s, just "me" and "I". Here is my canned explanation.
"When you tighten the laces on the boots, you pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then you tie it with a double knot and you are ready to go down the trail."
This is a very common way to write, but in doing so we just said what "other people" would do, not our self. This is projecting our thoughts onto the reader. We do not know how other people tie their shoes. We keep away from "you" and "your" in our writing.
We are writing a review of "our" gear based on "our" experiences. So we need to keep it in the first person. Here is how it should look;
"When I tighten the laces on the boots, I pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then I tie it with a double knot and I'm ready to go down the trail."
*** Either way the tent still did it's job.
EDIT: its (no apostrophe)
***You can keep your own stuff on your side in the spacious vestibule and your partner has their own door and vestibule to clutter up as they please!
EDIT: the "you" thing again. Please look for all instances of this as there is a lot of it. Just keep everything in the first person, don't talk about others.
*** It was $30 more and cheap insurance in my book.
EDIT: instead of putting the price just say something like "Even though it was optional it is cheap insurance in my book".
*** I did a lot of research and hands on at the store before I made my pick.
*** The heavy dew and ash coating made for a Dalmation effect