Hi Jim! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this; I had an
unexpected (and scary) hospital visit this week. Not to worry, I'm
amazing well now, considering!
I really appreciate this edit--great job, thank you. In fact, I used
one of your suggestions word for word. I considered all of them and
used most, but humbly beg to differ on your suggestions re: High
Sierra and Sierra Nevada, both of which refer to the mountain range
(singular) I live in (on?) and both of which were the subject of
debate here quite a while back.
Again, thanks for the edit, most helpful. I'll now upload...
--- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com
> Hi Dawn,
> Looks good. Here are some edits for your consideration. You can
> upload to BGT (the folder is already set up).
> --- In BackpackGearTest@yahoogroups.com, "dawnhark" <dawnhark@y...>
> > Trail Dog Experience: Jesse has been my trail companion for the
> > eight years; he tends to cover roughly ten times the mileage I do
> > any given hike. He's the ultimate hiking and camping companion. He
> > never worn a dog pack before.
> #### COMMENT: You might want to add a blurb as to why he covers 10
> times your mileage (I'm assuming it's something like he's chasing
> squirrels, investigating smells, etc.).
> > This also leaves the buckle on the left pannier out of line with
> > protective patch; that is, the buckle rests directly against the
> > body.
> #### COMMENT: You might want to expand a little on the "protective
> patch" like "out of line with the protective patch that is supposed
> to rest between the buckle and the dog's body. As a result, the
> buckle is in fact resting on the dog's body and the protective patch
> isn't effective.", or something like that.
> > During this short walk Jesse generally ignored the pack. He shook a
> > few times, but then carried on with no complaints. At one point he
> #### "without any complaints" or "with no complaint"
> > Test Plan:
> > Assuming I can get the Ruff Rider to fit Jesse properly, it will
> > accompany us on frequent day hikes and overnighters over the next
> > several months. These hikes will be in the High Sierra in spring,
> #### "High Sierras"
> > Field Information:
> > Location: The Sierra Nevada of Northern California at elevations of
> #### Either "The Sierra Nevada Range" or "The Sierra Nevadas"
> > Backpacking Style: I average a couple of two- to three-day backpack
> #### "two to"