What the Cat Dragged In...

We Are All Mad Here

29 January, 2003

2nd Sight Magazine Update
http://secondsightresearch.tripod.com/

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Kids Want Their Teachers Sent to Space

-- headline, CNN.com, 27 January 2003.

This is news. They'd like to send their parents there
too. Their parents would like to send their kids there
sometimes too! When I have a headache, I've learned
the best way to get rid of it is to follow the
directions on the bottle: take two as directed, and
stay away from children!

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SEXY. SEXIER. SEXIST?

Listen up. Brynn Holland, age 17, doesn't hate men,
isn't overreacting and wants to be taken seriously.
She's a feminist, aren't you?

http://www.tolerance.org/teens/stories/article.jsp?ar=2
6

How do you define feminism?

http://newsletter.tolerance.org/cgi-bin4/flo?y=hKYa0EUs
gD0BBT0Bi1Q0Aj

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Mug Shots

Have you heard the one about the turtle that was mugged
by a gang of snails?

The police arrived on the scene and asked the turtle to
describe what happened.

"I don't know," he replied. "It all happened so fast."

~ James Taranto

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Really Odd Jobs: Odor Sniffers, Worm Ranchers,
Porta-Potty Technicians and more

Ever wonder who cleans the Porta-Potty? And how often?
Look at some of the most unusual professions.

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/WolfFiles/wolffiles.h
tml

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Political Correctness for Teenagers

-No one fails a class anymore, they're merely "passing
impaired."

-You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit
delayed."

-Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage
restrictive."

-These days, a student isn't lazy. He/She's
"energetically declined."

-Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just
"closure prohibitive."

-Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit
"social speed bumps."

-Your homework isn't missing, its just having an
"out-of-notebook experience."

-You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing
consciousness."

-You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival
time."

TeAch-nology.com

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High Court Rejects Barbie "Bimbo" Case

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Toymaker Mattel lost a Supreme Court
appeal Monday over a mocking pop song that called the
iconic fashion doll Barbie a "blonde bimbo."

The high court did not comment in turning down Mattel's
request to reopen a trademark fight over the 1997 dance
hit "Barbie Girl." Mattel claims the preteen girls who
buy Barbie dolls were duped into thinking the song was
an advertisement for the doll or part of Mattel's
official line of Barbie products. The song, by a Danish
group called Aqua, includes the lyrics, "I'm a blonde
bimbo in a fantasy world/Dress me up, make it tight,
I'm your dolly."

Mattel Inc., which gets $1.5 billion or more annually
in Barbie sales, complained that an advertisement for
the song ran during Saturday morning cartoons and that
MCA Records Inc. even wanted to sell the recording at
toy stores. Ad materials for the song used the same
electric pink that Mattel has used to package Barbie
dolls for decades, lawyers for Mattel claimed. MCA sold
an estimated 1.4 million copies of the recording. The
music company calls the song a parody protected by the
First Amendment.

Mattel lost in lower courts, and the five-year tussle
has gotten ugly. MCA sued Mattel for defamation after
the toymaker likened the record firm to a bank robber.
Last year the California-based 9th U.S. Circuit Court
of Appeals rejected the notion that consumers were
misled by the song, noting that a pop art painting of a
can of Campbell's Soup does not make viewers think
Campbell's "has branched into the art business."
Appeals Judge Alex Kozinski, known for colorful
language, toyed with the two companies a bit. He noted
that the original 1950s Barbie resembled a "German
street walker," but was gradually transformed into a
long-legged American with a "fictitious figure."

"With fame often comes unwanted attention," Kozinski
wrote for a three-judge appeals panel. He closed his
written opinion with a warning to both companies to
play nice. "The parties are advised to chill," he
wrote.
Mattel contended the appeals court rejected the
reasoning of other courts in similar cases and ignored
evidence that consumers were confused. The case is
Mattel Inc. v. MCA Records Inc., 01-633.

Excerpted from an article by Anne Tiernan for AP,
posted to Salon January 27, 2003

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Buying Grades

One day, a professor was giving a big test to his
students. He handed out all of the tests and went back
to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the
students all handed the tests back in. The professor
noticed that one of the students had attached a $100
bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per
point." The next class the professor handed the tests
back out. This student got back his test and $64
change.

Source: TEACHnology.com

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Pre-emptive Death Certificates

"Saddam Hussein has ordered official death certificates
sent to Iraqi scientists' families as a chilling
warning against aiding U.N. inspectors," the New York
Post reports. Meanwhile, the New York Times
editorializes that the U.N. weapons inspectors'
declarations that Iraq still isn't complying with its
disarmament obligations of 12 years' standing "argue
strongly for giving the inspectors more time." The U.S.
must not act until every single Iraqi scientist is
dead!

Source: Excerpted from WSJ.com's Opinion Journal, by
James Taranto - "Sauntering Toward Baghdad"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A53229-20
03Jan28.html
http://www.nypost.com/news/worldnews/67625.htm

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Harry Potter and the Frivolous Lawsuit

"Dobby, the computer-animated elf in the new Harry
Potter film, could be at the centre of a court battle
over his resemblance to Russian president Vladimir
Putin," the London Evening Standard reports. "A Russian
law firm is reportedly drawing up legal action against
the special effects people who dreamt up Dobby, arguing
that the ugly but caring elf has been modeled on Mr.
Putin."

Does Dobby look like President Putin?

As of 11:29 p.m. CST, the poll was as follows;

Totally! He's a dead ringer! ........ 37%

Hmmm ... a bit. Could be a coincidence. ... 31%

Not in the slightest. Don't be ridiculous. ... 32%

http://www.thisislondon.com/news/articles/3113851?sourc
e=Evening%20Standard


"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever
remains, however improbable, must be the truth." --
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

2nd Sight Magazine Update
http://secondsightresearch.tripod.com



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