===============================================================
Get Wade Kwon's column FREE by email every week!
Send a blank email to wadeweekly-subscribe@eGroups.com
===============================================================


[Sorry for the delay folks -- I blame sun spots! --wade]



Copyright 2000 Birmingham Post Co. http://www.postherald.com

-----------
WADE WEEKLY
-----------

Wade Kwon's weekly column
from the Birmingham Post-Herald,
Birmingham, Alabama

May 15, 2000

It's up to Class of 2000 to settle cost of diploma
By Wade Kwon
Birmingham Post-Herald


Parents, teachers and distinguished members of the Class of 2000:

You made it. Your success is a direct result of your hard work and
determination. It is an honor to stand before you today, seniors, as
you graduate from high school.

But, as we celebrate your accomplishment, it is with some awkwardness
that I raise an important, yet unpleasant, topic before we hand out
diplomas. It is the small matter of the bill.

Now you may find it hard to believe, but we came up a little short
this year. Let's face it: The 1999-2000 school year cost more than we
anticipated, and for that, we apologize. The tax dollars, the revenue
from the bake sales and car washes, the sneaker kickbacks -- all
total, it just wasn't enough to pay for the below-average teacher
salaries, outdated textbooks and crumbling classrooms.

To make up the shortfall, we need your help, graduates. Not only are
you The Future, you're also The Last Untapped Source of Income.

We spared no expense in making sure you received the 49th-best
education America has to offer. For example, your teachers in the
Birmingham school system had to fight for fairness, even having to
walk out on the job for a whole three days in November.
Superintendent Johnny Brown lost out on his pay raise (the genesis of
the squabble), so we saved a little money there. But earlier this
year, the city decided to spring for new computers, to the tune of
$25 million. Those PCs aren't going to pay for themselves, and don't
your hard-working teachers deserve something for their trouble anyway?

Fortunately, your administrators in the Jefferson County system came
up with a less-expensive reward plan for their teachers. More than
100 teachers will participate in the "Extended Summer Vacation"
program, while other teachers will be rewarded with "bonus" students
in their fall classes.

Each Jefferson County school administrator worked tirelessly to
improve the quality of education in this community, from the squire
who lost a $3 million check while running personal errands to the
knight who spent funds from an off-the-books account for needy
children on staff Christmas parties. So dedicated are these personnel
that they tend the public till as though it were their own.

Even Walker County schools need some additional dollars, after
spending $30,000 to pay off a 12-year-old girl's team of attorneys as
part of a federal lawsuit settlement. The reason? She took the board
to court over its dress code, which prevented her from wearing a
cross necklace. Now, Walker County schools need your help to keep
lawyers out of the poorhouse.

We don't ask much, but as graduating seniors, it's time for you to
take responsibility, responsibility for our mistakes as well as your
own. We need your hard-earned money to pay for all the false bomb
threats, the security cameras, the cleanup after knife fights on the
bus, the severance pay for teachers accused of sexual abuse ... well,
you know the drill.

As you cross the dais, please have your credit card or check (payable
to your local school board) ready. As you prepare to make your way in
the world, diploma in hand, I give you one last piece of advice:
Don't forget to tip your speaker.

Thank you, congratulations and God bless you.