Hi All, here is the latest edition of the ESL Edutainment eZine

Enjoy,

Ian

Miri the Butterfly Fairy!
This site is huge! Many free services for parents, teachers and
children. Stories, games, all in a violence free atmosphere
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In the last week 4400+ people have downloaded
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==================================================
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==================================================

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======================================
EslGames.com Famous Quotes!
======================================

"Believe in yourself, your neighbors, your work,
your ultimate attainment of more complete happiness.
It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in
the Spring, who reaps a harvest in Autumn."
--B. C. Forbes

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best
of the way things turn out."
-- John Wooden
============================
Looking for a new job?
The New EFL website at http://www.language-world.net
has EFL related vacancies from all around the world.
======================================

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate
cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
--Martin Luther King Jr.

"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it
doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making
optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself."
--Lucille Ball (1911-1989)


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===================================
Everyone seems to be talking iMac these days,
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===================================

"Horse sense is the thing a horse has
which keeps it from betting on people."
--W.C. Fields

"When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty.
I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have
finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong."
-- Richard Buckminster Fuller

If you travel, this is the weather link for you!
http://www.universityoflife.com/weather.htm

Send an email smile, click here!
http://universityoflife.com/smiley.htm


View Edutainment Archive
http://www.listbot.com/archive/Language

** Feel free to pass this newsletter around ; )

To join got to http://Language.listbot.com/
--
All the best...Ian Hewitt

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to
be and you help them to become what they are
capable of being."
--Johann von Goethe

"To be loved, be lovable."
--Ovid (43 BC - 18 AD)

"A great attitude does much more than turn on the
lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect
us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that
were somehow absent before the change."
--Earl Nightingale


"a predominantly playful site"
--apple.com (iReview)
http://www.UniversityofLife.com/

Fun - Famous Quotes Newsletter at....
http://UniversityofLife.com/newsletter.htm

Great tools for strangers in strange lands!
http://www.EslGames.com

Hi All, here is the latest UoL
eZine and I really hope you enjoy it.

Cheers,

Ian

==============================
UniversityofLife.com eZine Quotes and fun stuff!
==============================
For NASA, space is still a high priority.
--Dan Quayle

"Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do."
--Voltaire

The future will be better tomorrow.
--Dan Quayle

============
If people call you "immature", "juvenile" or "childish" then this is
the Web Site for you!!
http://www.soimmature.com/
============

"There is nothing so strong as gentleness, and there is nothing
so gentle as real strength."
--St. Francis de Sales

"Those whom we support hold us up in life."
-- Marie von Ebner Eschenbach

Ours is the age of substitutes: Instead of language we have
jargon; instead of principles, slogans; and instead of genuine
ideas, bright suggestions.
--Eric Bentley

Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not
true. I have the heart of a young boy. In a jar. On my desk.
--Steven King

==== New Tests ===================

Fun tests, the name says it all!
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A Games Zone
Play Games Online is sure to entertain!
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===============================

Free Fast Fun Horoscope
http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=79&b=9998&c=2254



==== QUOTES ===================

"Child rearing myth #1: Labor ends when the baby is born."
--Unknown

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I
don't like and just give her a house.
--Rod Stewart

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy and he said "I'm
going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He
said, "Oh yeah? Why?" and I said, "Well, you won't be able to get
into the corners very well."
--Emo Phillips

================================
General Trivia Fun Java TestÅ? Online
http://universityoflife.com/trivia.htm

Sports Trivia Fun Java TestÅ? Online
http://universityoflife.com/sportstrivia.htm
================================

Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.
--Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it
would have gotten the hostages released.Å? I thank God they
were satisfied with the missiles and we didn't have to go to that
extreme.
--Oliver North

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay
single and make thousands miserable?
--Carrie Snow


==== JOKE! ===================

A blond man frantically calls 911 and says, "Help...my wife has
gone into labor and her contractions are 10 minutes apart".

The 911 operator asks, "is this her first child?"

To which the blond replies, "Of course not, you idiot...this is her
husband".

==== Just for fun! ==============

The difference between a successful person and others is not
a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a
lack of will.Ý
-- Vince Lombardi, American Football Coach

To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters
begins to look like a nail.Ý
--Abraham H. Maslow, American Psychologist

"Happiness is a way station between
to little and too much."
-- Channing Pollock

EZY Freebies!
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Please feel free to send this to your friends,
just get them to check out back issues at
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

I want to make this the most fun/interesting
newsletter on the web, all help and feedback most
welcome ; o )

*******STOP PRESS**********

For people of all interests who love receiving things 100%
FREE!!
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Online Games!
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--
All the best...Ian Hewitt

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best
light.
--Jennie Jerome Churchill

"We tend to forget that happiness
    doesn't come as a result of
    getting something we don't have,
    but rather of recognizing and
    appreciating what we do have."
-- Frederick Koenig

"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to
give our children. One of these is roots, the other wings."
-- Hodding Carter


"a predominantly playful site"
--apple.com (iReview)
http://www.UniversityofLife.com/

Fun/Famous Quotes Newsletter at....
http://UniversityofLife.com/newsletter.htm

Great tools for strangers in strange lands!
http://www.EslGames.com

Hi All, here is the New Year edition
eZine and I really hope you enjoy it.

Cheers,

Ian

========================================
UniversityofLife.com Newsletter Quotes and fun stuff!
========================================

"Students rarely disappoint teachers who
assure them in advance that they are
doomed to failure."
-- Sidney Hook

"Teachers can change lives with just the right
mix of chalk and challenges."
--Joyce A. Myers

"A teacher is the candle that lights others in
consuming itself."
--Giovanni Ruffini

"Good teachers are costly, but bad teachers cost more."
--Robert Talbert


============
JUST FOR TODAY, ...smile at a stranger;
http://www.teststeststests.com/lovetests/
============

"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it."
-- Rita Mae Brown

"Positive thinking will let you do everything better
than negative thinking will."
--Zig Ziglar

"A positive attitude can really make dreams come true -- it did for
me."
--Zina Garrison

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings
can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind."
--William James

==== New Tests ===================

Fun tests, the name says it all!
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A Games Zone
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===============================

Free Fast Fun Horoscope
http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=79&b=9998&c=2254

==== QUOTES ===================

"Time is the most valuable thing
Ý a man can spend."
--Theophrastus

"In order to find the edge, you must risk going over the edge."
--Dennis Dugan

"Who dares nothing, need hope for nothing."
~ J.C.F.Ý von Schiller

Whenever life gets you down, consider your alternative.
--Ian

================================
What is your personality?
http://www.teststeststests.com/personalitytest.htm
================================

Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.
--Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it
wouldÝ have gotten the hostages released.Ý I thank God they were
satisfied with the missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.
--Oliver North

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay
single and make thousands miserable?
--Carrie Snow


==== Wonderous Web! ===================

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn
better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible."
--A Yale University management professor in response to Fred
Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service.
(Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

==== Just for fun! ==============

Free Love Sex Adult Sexuality Tests On-line
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Not pornography but best over 18 years old.

The Career Interest Checklist
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Best "Career" book ever written!! (12th Edition!)
http://www.barbarawinter.com/

Please feel free to send this to your friends,
just get them to check out back issues at
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

I want to make this the most fun/interesting
newsletter on the web, all help and feedback most
welcome ; o )

*******STOP PRESS**********

For people of all interests who love receiving things 100%
FREE!!
There's something for EVERYONE!
http://www.universityoflife.com/free.htm

--
All the best...Ian Hewitt

Hide not your talents, for use they were made. What's a
sundial in the shade?
-- Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is not best achieved by those who seek it directly.
-- Bertrand Russell

I am always busy, which is perhaps the chief reason why I am
always well.
-- Elizabeth Cady Stanton

"Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections."
--Saint Francis de Sales


University of Life voted #1 diversionary
site  at Brills Content!
http://www.UniversityofLife.com/

FREE Phone Card for joining our
Fun/Famous Quotes Newsletter at....
http://UniversityofLife.com/newsletter.htm

Great tools for strangers in strange lands!
http://www.EslGames.com

Hi All, here is the year 2000 Christmas edition University of Life
eZine and I really hope you enjoy it.

Peace and love to all,

Ian

==============================
UniversityofLife.comÅžNewsletter Quotes and fun stuff!
==============================

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of
the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
--Sigmund Freud

"If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun."
--Katharine Hepburn

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.Åž I want to achieve it
through not dying.
--Woody Allen

There's an exception to every rule, except this one.
--Unknown

"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a
vigorous mind."
--Samuel Johnson

============
ÅžJUST FOR TODAY, ...smile at a stranger;
Åžlisten to someone's heart; drop a coin where
Åža child can find it; learn something new,
Åžthen teach it to someone; tell someone
Åžyou're thinking of them; hug a loved one;
Åždon't hold a grudge; don't be afraid to say
Åž"I'm sorry"; look a child in the eye and
Åžtell them how great they are.
Love stuff at http://www.teststeststests.com/lovetests/
============

"One man with courage makes a majority."
~ Andrew Jackson


"Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter."
~ Samuel J. Hurwitt

"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at
heart."
~ Anne Frank

I saw a model wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it.
I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
--Emo Philips

==== New Tests ===================

Fun tests, the name says it all!
http://www.TestsTestsTests.com/

A Games Zone
A Fun Zone is sure to entertain!
http://www.clickXchange.com/fr.phtml?act=49021.23
===============================

"LOVE - irresistable desire to
Åž be irresistably desired."
-- Mark Twain

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"The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right
sometimes."
--Sir. Winston Churchill


==== Free T-Shirt Offer ===================

1) Go to http://www.universityoflife.com/links.htm
2) Bookmark the page so you know where
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3) Buy anything from one of the many great shops (for Xmas?)
4) Send me the order details of any purchase you make.
(language@... or reply to this email)
5) I will send you a totally free UniversityofLife.com T-shirt
like http://www.cafepress.com/uol ; o )

**Only while stocks last, one per address**
===============================

==== QUOTES ===================
"We only do well the things we like doing."
--Colette

"How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself."
-- Publilius Syrus

"If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased."
~ Katharine Hepburn

Whenever life gets you down, consider your alternative.
--Ian

================================
US Presidents Trivia Test and Quiz Online
http://www.teststeststests.com/presidents.htm
================================

"Our goal must be not peace in our time, but peace for all
time."
--Harry S. Truman

"No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, and
disciplined."
--Henry Emerson Fosdick

"When written in Chinese, the word crisis is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity."
--John F. Kennedy

"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as
in what direction we are moving."
--Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

==== Wonderous Web! ===================

"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing,
even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about
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salary, we'll come work for you.'
And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett Packard, and they
said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'"
--Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and
HP interested in his and Steve Wozniak's Mac personal computer.

==== Just for fun! ==============

Free Love Sex Adult Sexuality Tests On-line
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Not pornography but best over 18 years old.

The Career Interest Checklist
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Best "Career" book ever written!! (12th Edition!)
http://www.barbarawinter.com/
(This would make a *really* good Xmas gift ; )

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and
years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the
worst movies in the history of the world.Å
--Dave Barry

Please feel free to send this to your friends,
just get them to check out back issues at
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

I want to make this the most fun/interesting
newsletter on the web, all help and feedback most
welcomeÅ ; o )

*******STOP PRESS**********
I have been asked for my ultimate Xmas gift picks,Åž so here goes!
You will impress with any of these.......

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Search *any* hobby here, cool shopping tool....
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It's All Free! Newsletter: A weekly newsletter featuring freebie offers for
people of all interests who love receiving things 100% FREE!! There's
something for EVERYONE!Åž To subscribe, please send a blank e-mail with
SUBSCRIBE in the subject to hack_attack4@... or visit them
at http://www.geocities.com/its1all1free/


--
All the best...Ian Hewitt

"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
~ Michael Evans

"Do not accustom yourself to consider debt only as an inconvenience; you
will find it a calamity."
--Samuel Johnson

"The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with
the acquisition of it."
--Laurence Sterne

When we ask advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.
--Marquis de Lagrange


University of Life voted #1 diversionary
site  at Brills Content!
http://www.UniversityofLife.com/

Join or view our cool life enhancing and
fun Quote Newsletter at....
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

Great tools for strangers in strange lands!
http://www.EslGames.com

Hi All, here is my latest e-Zine and I really hope you enjoy it.

Cheers Ian

======================================
UniversityofLife.com Newsletter Quotes and fun stuff!
======================================

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other
invention,
with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.
--Mitch Ratcliffe

An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie for his
country.
--Sir Henry Wotton

When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries
disappear and life
stands explained.
--Mark Twain

==== New Tests ===================

Ranked the Web's most accurate personality test.
Unlocking how you Think, Work and Love.
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IQ Test Free Game
Like Chinese Checkers, move/jump balls around to
check your IQ!
http://www.teststeststests.com/iqtest/
===============================


==== Free Stuff ===================
Free Sweepstakes! Tons of good offers...
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===============================

==== QUOTES ===================
Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch
which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make
it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to
future generations.
--George Bernard Shaw

No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has
come.
--Victor Hugo

It is funny about life: if you refuse to accept anything but
the very best you will very often get it.
-- W. Somerset Maugham

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint
you can on it.
--Danny Kaye

Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the
chance to work hard at work worth doing.
--Theodore Roosevelt

The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little.
--Thomas Merton

================================
Word Shoot Challenge!
Made for teachers but any English speaker
can have lot's of fun!
http://muzartqom.com/Final/
================================

God does not ask your ability or your inability. He asks only your
availability.
--Mary Kay Ash

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure goes a long way towards
the down
payment.
--Anonymous

Success is not a matter of spontaneous combustion. You must
set yourself on fire.
--Arnold Glascow

Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words,
they become actions; watch you actions, they become your
habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your
character, for it becomes your destiny.
--Frank Outlaw

The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
--Robert Byrne

==== WEB FUNNY ===================

There are three engineers in a car: an electrical engineer, a
chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car
just
stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at
each
other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics
of
the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests
that
maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked
somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything,
comes
up with a suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows, get
out,
get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work !?"


==== Just for fun! ==============

Great new fun online games from Pogo.com
http://www.universityoflife.com/pogogames.htm

Please feel free to send this to your friends,
just get them to check out back issues at
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

I want to make this the most fun/interesting
newsletter on the web, all help and feedback most
welcome ; o )
--
All the best...Ian Hewitt

"All of us do not have equal talent, but all of us should have an equal
opportunity to develop our talents."
--John F. Kennedy

"The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love."
-- Hubert Humphrey

"The man who trusts men will make fewer mistakes than he who distrusts
them."
-- Camillo Di Cavour

"If it is not right, do not do it; if it is not true, do not say it."
--Marcus Aurelius

University of Life voted #1 diversionary
site  at Brills Content!
http://www.UniversityofLife.com/

Join or view our cool life enhancing and
fun Quote Newsletter at....
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

Great tools for strangers in strange lands!
http://www.EslGames.com

Hi All, I was told last month to make this e-Zine a little more
personal, so here goes!
I'm an Australian (40 and married) EnglishÝ teacher living in
Tokyo. A few years ago I wrote the book
http://eslgames.com/edutainment and learned how to
webmaster. I am interested in tests so I started University of Life
and this newsletter, I really hope you enjoy it.

CheersÝ Ian

======================================
UniversityofLife.com Newsletter Quotes and fun!
=======================================

Change your thoughts and you change your world.
--Norman Vincent Peale

"In this world, you must be a bit too kind in order to be kind
enough."
~ Pierre Carlet de Chamblain de Marivaux

If you are never scared, embarrassed, or hurt, it means you
never take
chances.
--Julia Soul

The strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness is self-
esteem:
believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will
get it.
--Jerry Gillies

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good
is nobler----and less troublesome.
--Mark Twain

We learn from experience that man never learns
anything from experience.
--Shaw

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
--Pablo Picasso

The moment of victory is much too short to live for that and
nothing else.
--Martina Navratilova

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and
Knowledge is
shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
--Albert Einstein

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
--Anonymous

There she was--dejected, desperate, and stoned. Everything I
could hope
for in a woman.
--Louie DePalma, Taxi

He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has
discovered the most valuable secret of a diplomat.
-- Robert Estabrook

==== New Tests ==================

Health Insurance Basics and Free Test Information
http://TestsTestsTests.com/healthinsurance.htm

Natural Disasters Free Test Quiz
http://TestsTestsTests.com/disastertest.htm

Chick Knowledge Test!
Do you recognize these famous women?
http://www.ozemail.com.au/~stphw/cktest/

Look up your ancestry at the free quick search...
http://www.ancestrycom.com

==== Free Stuff ===================

Free Souvenir Olympic e-books!
http://www.sydneyolynpics.com/merchandise.htm

==== QUOTES ===================

"The soul that perpetually overflows with kindness and sympathy
will
always be cheerful."
~ Parke Godwin

"To be what we are, andÝ to become what we are capable of
becoming, is
the only end in life."
~ Robert Louis Stevenson

"The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not
laughed."
~ Sebastien-Roch Nicolas Chamfort

==== WEB FUNNY ===================

BURNING BRIDGES
Two old ladies have played bridge together for many years, and
naturally they have gotten to know each other pretty well.

One day, during a game of cards, one lady suddenly looks up at
the other and says, "I realize we've known each other for many
years, but for the life of me, I just can't bring it to mind... would
you please tell me your name again, dear?"

There is dead silence for a couple of minutes, then the other lady
responds, "How soon do you need to know?"

==== Just for fun! ==============

Send some free virtual flowers!
http://universityoflife.com/virtualflowers.htm

I want to make this the most fun/interesting
newsletter on the web, all help and feedback most
welcome ; o )

--

All the best...Ian Hewitt

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
--Anonymous

If you want to test your memory, try to remember what you were worrying
about one year ago today.
--E. Joseph Cossman

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
--Mae West

University of Life voted #1 diversionary
site  at Brills Content!
http://www.UniversityofLife.com/

Join or view our cool life enhancing and
fun Quote Newsletter at....
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

Great tools for strangers in strange lands!
http://www.EslGames.com

Hi All, here are my latest quotes and fun links, enjoy ; )

Ian
======================================

UniversityofLife.com Newsletter Quotes and fun!

=======================================

Truth is always strange, stranger than fiction.
-- Byron

He who fears he will suffer, already suffers of his
fear.
--M.Montaigne

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.
--Shaw

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking
creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.
-- Lao-Tzu

"A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really
know what goes in it."
--Neil Simmons

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin
brother.
-- Kahlil Gibran

Thoughtfulness for others, generosity, modesty and
self-respect are the qualities which make a real gentleman
or lady.
-- Thomas H. Huxley

"You tell me, and I forget. You teach me, and I remember. You involve me,
and I learn."
--Benjamin Franklin

"One of these days is none of these days."
-- H.G. Bohn

"The true object of all human life is play."
-- G.K. Chesterton

"Do you prefer that you be right, or that you be happy?"
-- A Course In Miracles

==== New Tests ==================

Personal Growth Test
http://TestsTestsTests.com/growthtest.htm

WFF Wrestling Test, Hulk Hogan!!
http://TestsTestsTests.com/wrestlingtest.htm

MS PowerPoint Test
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The Pokemon Test!
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==== QUOTES ===================

"Counting time is not so important as making TIME COUNT."
-- Fortune cookie

A lady is a woman who makes it easy for a man to be a gentleman.
--Unknown

Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
--Elbert Hubbard

"Compassion without intelligence is no virtue, but
intelligence without compassion is not good management."
--R. Solomon

ÝIf A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y
plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth
shut."
--Albert Einstein

Ý" All of us tend to put off living. We are all
dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon
instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming
outside our windows today."
--Dale Carnegie

==== WEB FUNNY ===================

Commerce creates Communication.
Communication is the key to Understanding.
Understanding is the key to Peace.
E-Commerce = World Peace.

==== Just for fun! ==============

Send some free virtual flowers!
http://universityoflife.com/virtualflowers.htm

Please feel free to send this to your friends,
just get them to check out back issues at
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

I want to make this the most fun/interesting
newsletter on the web, all help and feedback most
welcome ; o )
--

All the best...Ian Hewitt

A diplomat  is a man who always remembers a woman's
birthday, but never remembers her age.
--Frost

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good
is nobler----and less troublesome.
--Mark Twain

We learn from experience that man never learns
anything from experience.
--Shaw

University of Life voted #1 diversionary
site  at Brills Content!
http://www.UniversityofLife.com/

Join or view our cool life enhancing and
fun Quote Newsletter at....
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

Great tools for strangers in strange lands!
http://www.EslGames.com

UniversityofLife.com Quotes - http://universityoflife.com

Hi All, here are my latest quotes and fun links, enjoy ; )

All the best,Ý Ian

===============================================
UniversityofLife.com Newsletter Quotes and Fun!
===============================================


People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate
me from a doormat or a prostitute.
--Rebecca West

It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no
God.ð It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
--Thomas Jefferson

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a
department store, and he asked for my autograph.‰i
--Shirley Temple

"He who reflects too much will achieve little."
-- J.C.F. von Schiller

"The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously."
-- Henry Kissinger

The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much
easier to give up than the bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham

"To see things in the seed, that is genius."
-- Lao-tzu

A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he
just cleaned the whole house.
--Sascha

"When looking at faults, use a mirror, not a telescope."
--Yazid Ibrahim

"We are all pencils in the hand of God."
--Mother Theresa

"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man
can
sincerely try to help another without helping himself."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please feel free to send this to your friends,
I want to make this the most fun/interesting
newsletter on the web, all help and feedback most
welcome‰i ; o )


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==== QUOTES ===================


Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
--Erma Bombeck

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
--Mae West

Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.
--Sigmund Freud

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering
somebody else's dog around.
--Unknown

"People have criticized me because my security detail is larger than the
president's. But you must ask yourself: are there more people who want to
kill me than who want to kill the president? I can assure you there are."
--M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of
all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which
all other work is but preparation.
--Rainer Maria Rilke

==== WEB FUNNY ===================

A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the
mother eyes an expensive fur coat.Ý "This year," she says,
"I think that I will buy my present instead of making you
and dad shop for me."Ý The daughter nods in agreement.
"And I think this fur coat would be perfect too."

The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature
has to suffer so that you can have this."

"Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get
the bill for a couple of weeks."

==== Just for fun! ==============

Send an email smile!
http://universityoflife.com/smiley.htm

=================================

Please feel free to send this to your friends,
just get them to check out back issues at
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

I want to make this the most fun/interesting
newsletter on the web, all help and feedback most
welcome ; o )
--

All the best...Ian Hewitt

"You tell me, and I forget. You teach me, and I remember. You involve me,
and I learn."
--Benjamin Franklin

Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.
--Napoleon Hill

When we try to separate anything out by itself, we find it hitched to
everything else in the universe.
--Einstein

"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to
seek it elsewhere."
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

University of Life voted #1 diversionary
site  at Brills Content!
http://www.UniversityofLife.com/

Join or view our cool life enhancing and
fun Quote Newsletter at....
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

Great tools for strangers in strange lands!
http://www.EslGames.com

Hi All, here is the latest http://www.universityoflife.com/Ý
Newsletter that I hope you enjoy. Please feel free to pass it around.
Comments welcome.

Ian


PS There may be some funny characters in this email.
I am in Tokyo and it has something to do with my
Japanese language system. Sorry.....

======================================
UniversityofLife.comÅžNewsletter Quotes and fun!
=======================================

==== OWNERS MESSAGE ==========

Please feel free to send this to your friends,
I want to make this the most fun/interesting
newsletter on the web, all help and feedback most
welcomeÅžIanÝÝ ; o )


==== New Tests ==================
KIDS
Do you know Pokemon!??
http://universityoflife.com/pokemontest.htm
The Pokemon test!

ADULTS
http://TestsTestsTests.com/ittest.htm
Information Systems Computer Free Test Quiz Online

Other computer tests....
http://www.universityoflife.com/computertests.htm



==== QUOTES ===================
Miracles happen to those who believe in them.
--Bernard Berenson

I dream my painting, and then I paint my dreams.
--Vincent van Gogh

I like to live like a poor man with lots of money.
--Pablo Picasso

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
--Napoleon Bonaparte

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low
crime rate."
--M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

Q) What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies?
(A) "Hey . . . watch this!"

A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a
perfectly good kitten.
--Doug Larson

An idiot with a computer is a faster, better idiot
--Rich Julius

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an
understanding of ourselves"
- Carl Jung

I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once
was... an arctic wilderness.
--Steve Martin

==== WEB FUNNY ===================
Does fuzzy logic tickle?

11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.

24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?

Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

Windows: Just another pane in the glass.

Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

Read my chips: No new upgrades!

Hit any user to continue.

2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!

I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!


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take the time to visit....
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Check out the Naughty jokes tour!!


Subscribe at
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

--

All the best...Ian Hewitt

No quality will get a man more friends than a
disposition to admire the qualities of others.
--James Boswell

The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is
not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.
--Shaw

Truth is always strange, stranger than fiction.
--Byron

He who fears he will suffer, already suffers of his
fear.
--M.Montaigne



University of Life voted #1 diversionary
website  at Brills Content!
http://www.UniversityofLife.com/

Join or view our cool life enhancing and
fun Quote Newsletter at....
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/

Hi All, here is the latest http://UniversityofLife.com Newsletter that I
hope you enjoy . I had one complaint last time that it was "too short",
so I will attempt to give you a longer one from now on.
Please feel free to pass it around. Comments welcome.

ÝCheersÝÝ Ian

Ý======
QUOTES
Ý======

"If you haven't all the things you want, be grateful for the things you
don't have that you wouldn't want."
--Anonymous

"The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success."
-- James Bond: Tomorrow Never Dies

"A classic-something that everybody wants to have read
and nobody wants to read."
--Mark Twain

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full
value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it
with."
--Mark Twain

"When you cease to dream, you cease to live."
--Max Steingard

"Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"If you continue to look out the rearview mirror, you will eventually run
off the road."
-- Unknown

May we never let the things we can't have, or don't have, or shouldn't
have, spoil our enjoyment of the things we do have and can have.Ý One of
the greatest lessons in life is learning to be happy without the things we
cannot or should not have.
-- Richard Evans


No quality will get a man more friends than a
disposition to admire the qualities of others.
--James boswell

A diplomatist is a man who always remembers a woman's
birthday, but never remembers her age.
--Frost

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good
is nobler----and less troublesome.
--Mark Twain

We learn from experience that man never learns
anything from experience.
--Shaw

Truth is seldom Pure and never simple
Ý Oscar Wild

Art/love demands the subordination of the ego.
--Joseph Sobwan

Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged,
it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
--Unknown

"A classic-something that everybody wants to have read
and nobody wants to read."
--Mark Twain

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full
value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it
with."
--Mark Twain

====
JOKE
====

YOU NEED A NEW CAR WHEN ...
ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ
ÝÝÝÝ
- You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind
you.

- You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get
the duct tape replaced.

- You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get
accused of stealing.

- The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk."

- The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Dukakis/Bentsen '88"
sticker.

- You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a
hundred dollars and a new stereo.

- Evel Kneivel refuses a free lift.

- The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before
parking your car.

- The guys at the repair shop refer you to Dr. Kevorkian.

Ý=====
TESTS
Ý=====
Developed by two industrial psychologists, it is valid and the brief
report is free.
Here is the link:
http://od-online.com/webpage/intro.htm

Love and Sex Tests New and Fun!
http://www.universityoflife.com/lovetests.htm


=======
Cool Tips
=======

You Are Cordially Invited To Subscribe To:
**Rob's wURLd "Best of the Web"
This newsletter is family-friendly, and features best of the
web, and cool-site selections for ALL ages!!
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or check out their home page at
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To join and view previous newsletters please go to
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/
--

All the best...Ian Hewitt

All battles are fought by scared men who would have rather have been
somewhere else.
--John Wayne

In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with
the current.
--Thomas Jefferson

Security is mostly a superstition.  It does not exist in nature... Life is
either a daring adventure or nothing.
--Helen Keller

Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training.
--Anna Freud

http://www.UniversityofLife.com/free.htm
Free CDs and other give-aways!

http://UniversityofLife.com/smiley.htm
Send an Email smile!

Hi All, here is the latest http://UniversityofLife.com Newsletter
that I hope you enjoy. I am trying to make this the best "Test and
Quote" list on the Net. Please feel free to pass it around.

Cheers   Ian

======
QUOTES
======

A man should never be ashamed of admitting he has been in the wrong,
which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he
was yesterday.
--Jonathan Swift

The best way out is always through.
--Robert Frost

There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We
don't believe this to be a coincidence.
--Unknown

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You
know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a
psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll
have to kill you too.
--Jake Johansen

All those who believe in psycho-kinesis raise my hand.
--Anonymous

Only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not
certain about the universe.
--Albert Einstein

The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct
of one hour.
--Japanese proverb

Remember, happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what
you have, it depends solely upon what you think.
--Dale Carnegie

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
--Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

====
JOKE
====
Lou goes to the doctor's office complaining of not feeling well.
The doctor runs some test on him and in a few minutes comes back
in.  The doctor says, "Lou, sit down.  I've got some bad news.
You don't have much time to live."  Lou is obviously upset about
this, but asks, "How much longer do I have doc?"

The doctor says, "10."

Lou says, "10 what?  10 weeks...10 months...10 years?"

The doctor replies, "9...8...7..."

=====
TESTS
=====
Developed by two industrial psychologists, it is valid and the brief
report is free.
http://od-online.com/webpage/intro.htm

Typing Test, only takes a minute and gives you your "words per minute"
http://www.universityoflife.com/typingtest.htm


100 Purity Tests
Gauge how "pure" you are within some realm of experience by having
you answer a list of questions. You could be here all day!
http://www.armory.com/tests/purity.html

To join and view previous newsletters please go to
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/
--

All the best...Ian Hewitt

All battles are fought by scared men who would have rather have been
somewhere else.
--John Wayne

In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with
the current.
--Thomas Jefferson

Security is mostly a superstition.  It does not exist in nature... Life is
either a daring adventure or nothing.
--Helen Keller

Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training.
--Anna Freud

http://www.UniversityofLife.com/free.htm
Free CDs and other give-aways!

http://UniversityofLife.com/smiley.htm
Send an Email smile!

======================================
ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ UniversityofLife.comÝ Newsletter
=======================================


==== OWNERS MESSAGE ==========
Hi All,
In future the format of this newsletter will be ..
1) A new test or link that I think is fun.
2) A link to some free stuff, if I can find it.
3) Some fun/famous guotes or sayings

Please feel free to send this to your friends,
I want to make this the most fun/interesting
newsletter on the web, all help and feedback most
welcomeÝ ; o )

Subscribe at
http://universityoflife.listbot.com/
==== New Test ==================

What Breed of Dog Are You?
http://www.emode.com/tests/dog2.html
I'm a Golden Retriever!?


==== Free Stuff ===================

FREE CDs!!
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This place has some great new titles, the CDs really are free
you only pay $7.95 for postage. Some of these usually sell
for $50 each. Stocks are limited and they go fast!

==== QUOTES ===================
Suppose you were an idiot.Ý And suppose you were a member of Congress.Ý
But I repeat myself.
--Mark Twain

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
--Erma Bombeck

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
--Mae West

Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.
--Sigmund Freud

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering
somebody else's dog around.
--Unknown

==== WEB FUNNY ===================
A teacher asked one of her pupils, "Can you name our nation's
capital?"

The reply was, "Washington DC"

When asked what the "DC" stood for, the pupil added, "Dot com!"

==== Just for fun! ==============
Send some free virtual flowers!
http://universityoflife.com/virtualflowers.htm
Bit slow loading but fun ; o )

--

All the best...Ian Hewitt

I've never met a human being who would want to read 17,000 pages of
documentation, and if there was, I'd kill him to get him out of the gene pool.
--Joseph Costello, President of Cadence

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build
bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce
bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
--Rich Cook

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows
how to swim.
--Ann Landers

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.
--Hannah Arendt

All those who believe in psycho-kinesis raise my hand.

http://www.UniversityofLife.com/free.htm
Free CDs and other give-aways!

http://UniversityofLife.com/smiley.htm
Send an Email smile!

Hi All, this is a special edition because I found a really good deal and
they are going fast. I paid 6,000 yen for my copy of Mavis Beacon Teaches
Typing and now you can get it FREE here! (only 198 left when I checked)
http://universityoflife.com/free.htm
(other free CDs also available)

Following are some "bad calls", I hope you enjoy.........

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say
America likes crispy cookies, not soft and
chewy cookies like you make."
--Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
--Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
--Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The
literature was full of examples that said you
can't do this."
--Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M
"Post-It" Notepads.


All the best...Ian Hewitt

"The road to success is always under construction"
-Unknown

"Friendship is like money, easier made than kept"
-Samuel Butler

"Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he/she isn't there the
first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again"
--Anonymous

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and
that one word is 'to be prepared'.
--Dan Quayle

All those who believe in psycho-kinesis raise my hand.

http://UniversityofLife.com/smiley.htm?n
Send an Email smile!

http://www.UniversityofLife.com/
Fun online tests and games

http://www.cafepress.com/uol
Want to buy or sell T-shirts?

P.S. Are you getting paid for being online?
Try http://www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=FBN521 They pay US$0.50 for
each hour you surf the WEB!

Hi All, changing my sig file again! Check out a fun portal site at
http://www.skybizcom.com seems like a great deal to me.

Today some famous predictions, enjoy!


"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil?  You're
crazy."
--Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for
oil in 1859.

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
--Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
--Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.

"But what ... is it good for?"
     Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM,
1968,commenting on the microchip.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
     Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp.,1977


All the best...Ian Hewitt

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
     Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction".
     Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the
intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon".
--Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary
to Queen Victoria 1873.

"We may not imagine how our lives could be more
frustrating and complex - but Congress can."
--Cullen Hightower

All those who believe in psycho-kinesis raise my hand.

http://UniversityofLife.com/smiley.htm?n
Send an Email smile!

http://www.UniversityofLife.com/
Fun online tests and games

http://www.cafepress.com/uol
Want to buy or sell T-shirts?

P.S. Are you getting paid for being online?
Try http://www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=FBN521 They pay US$0.50 for
each hour you surf the WEB!

Hi All, here are some more quotes for you to enjoy!

Ian

PS: If you are not getting paid to surf the web, go to
http://www.extrasalarycom.com/


Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
-Unknown

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
--F. P. Jones

Children begin by loving their parents.  After a time they judge them.
Rarely,if ever, do they forgive them.
--Oscar Wilde

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to death your right to say
it
--Voltaire

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other
bastard die for his.
--George C. Patton

I couldn't remember things until I took that Sam Carnegie course.
--Bill Peterson, former Houston Oiler football coach

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence that you tried.
-Unknown

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
--Sophocles


All the best...Ian Hewitt

Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.
--Old Farmer's Almanac

If only God would give me a clear sign!  Like making a large deposit in my
name at a Swiss bank.
--Woody Allen

"I am a deeply superficial person."
- Andy Warhol

Q) How many fleas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A) Two.

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what
it is I'll get married again.
--Clint Eastwood

http://UniversityofLife.com/smiley.htm?n
Send an Email smile!

http://www.UniversityofLife.com/
Fun online tests and games

http://www.cafepress.com/uol
Want to buy or sell T-shirts?

P.S. Are you getting paid for being online?
Try http://www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=FBN521 They pay US$0.50 for
each hour you surf the WEB!

Hi All, following are our usual jokes/quotes but first a special limited
Xmas offer for members of this list only.....

UniversityofLife.com has made a 1/2 price deal with
http://earthstar.com.au/booksoncd/  "All-Time Classic Best Selling Books on
CD" (usually US$29.95) for members at only US$15  ( with free shipping
worldwide!)

To take advantage of this limited special Xmas offer go to
http://www.universityoflife.com/classicbooks.htm
  ( while stocks last)

Now on to the jokes/quotes and have a very Merry Christmas......

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"
-- John Lennon

"The trouble with being in a rat race is that even if you win the race,
you're still a rat"
--  Lily Tomlin

The most violent element in society is
ignorance.
-- Emma Goldman

A good friend stabs you in the front.
-- Oscar Wilde

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished
by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
-- Doug Larson

A life is not important, except in the impact it has on other lives.
-Jackie Robinson

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians.
The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling,
but the surest is with technicians.
  -- Georges Pompidou

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981


                                **Computer One-liners***

SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

All computers wait at the same speed.

DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.




All the best...Ian Hewitt

Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One
helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.
  -- Sandra Carey

I don't do drugs any more 'cause I find I get the
same effect just by standing up really fast.
  -- Johnathan Katz

What matters is not necessarily the size of
the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.
  --Dwight D. Eisenhower

Happy is the man who can laugh at himself, for he will never cease
to be amused.
-- Unknown

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different
result"
--Albert Einstein

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Hi All, here are a couple of fun one liners with my usual quotes, enjoy....
; o )

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?

If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still
grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

Is there another word for synonym?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown
away?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?


"If the whole world depends on today's youth, I can't see
the world lasting another 100 years."
--Socrates

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was all the money in the
world for schools, and the military had to have a fund-raiser
to raise money for all their bombs?"
--Sue Hatrick

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there
are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can
always write a book."
--Ronald Reagan

I often regret that I have spoken; never that I have been silent.
  -- Pubilius Syrus

"We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act,
but a habit."
-- Aristotle


"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked
from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."
--Richard Harkness

"Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and
waste hours."
--M. Berle


All the best...Ian Hewitt

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever
achieve greatly.
--Robert F. Kennedy

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts
agree, is by accident.  That's where we come in; we're computer
professionals.  We cause accidents.
-- Nathaniel Borenstein

People question why Switzerland always remains neutral in wars.
I think it's because the Swiss realize those Army Knives would
be pretty useless against heavy artillery.
--Paul Paternoster

Visits always give pleasure - if not the arrival, the departure.
--Portuguese Proverb

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Hi All, sorry about last time, I live in Tokyo and the nuclear leak put me
in a "funny" mood. Hope ya like these ones! (;-/)

Cheers  Ian

"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said
to be living apart."
--e e cummings

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in
overalls, and looks like work."
--Thomas Edison

"Anger is one letter away from danger."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of
the risks you take."
--Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)


"Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure."
--Thomas Edison

"Television is the first truly democratic culture the first culture
available to everybody and entirely governed by what the
people want. the most terrifying thing is what people do want."
--Clive Barnes

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody,
come sit next to me. "
--Alice Roosevelt Longworth

If your life is free of failures,
you're not taking enough risks.
-- Anonymous


All the best...Ian Hewitt

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find
the harder I work, the more I have of it.
--Thomas Jefferson

"The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck will be the day they
start making vacuum cleaners!"
-- John A. Magliacane, KD2BD

"I say men with pierced ears are ready for marriage. They
have experienced pain and bought jewelry."
- Rita Rudner

"To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk."
--Thomas Edison


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Hi All, more quotes, enjoy!  ; o )

Ian

"The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes
a little longer."
--Henry Kissinger

I think I've discovered the secret to life...
  You just hang around
until you get used to it.
-- Peanuts

"Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than
salt water has on thirst."
--Walter Weckler


"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters
is whether I win or lose."
--Darrin Weinberg

"Things should be made as simple as possible -- no simpler."
--Albert Einstein


All the best...Ian Hewitt


"He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show
affection. I guess that's what I hated about him."
--Jack Handey

"A major accident resulting in a radioactive leak has happened.
We apologize from the bottoms of our hearts."
--KOJI KITANI, president of JCO Co. in Japan.

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
--Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"If barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her all
of her friends?"
- Rita Rudner

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** Hi all, these are getting more popular, enjoy!

Ian

"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the
sand. I beat people up."
--Muhammed Ali

"On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too
good and not quite all the time."
--George Orwell

Yesterday has already gone,
Tomorrow may never arrive,
But here is today
To do all the work of a lifetime.
--Author unknown

"When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism: but when
you take it from many writers, it's research."
--Wilson Mizner

"Too much of a good thing is wonderful."
--Mae West

"I am not suffering from insanity, I am enjoying every
single minute of it!"
--Unknown

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that
heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I've found it!), but
'That's funny...'"
-Isaac Asimov


All the best...Ian Hewitt

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
--Popular Mechanics, 1949

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has genius,
power, and magic in it.
--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not been discovered.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

A true friend is someone who is there for you when he would rather be
anywhere else.
--Len Wein

"The circumstances you find yourself in
are not nearly as important as your
attitude toward those circumstances."
  --AA

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Hi All, here are some more quotes, enjoy!

"Diligence is the mother of good fortune."
(Miguel de Cervantes, author of El Quixote)

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into
jet engines."
--unknown

"We can do anything we want to if we stick to it long
enough."
--Helen Keller

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of  my body."
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward



All the best...Ian Hewitt

Thoughts for the day..

"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who
have had years and years of training can, using only
their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies
in the history of the world."
--Dave Barry

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you
     what can't be done, and why. Then do it.
  -- Robert Heinlein

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
-Thomas Edison

"Damnit Smithers, this is brain surgery, not rocket science!"
(Mr Burns, boss from "The Simpsons" )

Be   kind   whenever   possible.
It is always possible.
--H. H. Dalai Lama

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Hi All, here are some more quotes..........


"We are all related."
	 (Lakota (Native American) belief)

"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no
  courage unless you're scared."
- Eddie Rickenbacher

"When you have nothing to say, say nothing."
--Charles Caleb Colton

People who fight fire with fire usually end up
     with ashes. -- Abigail Van Buren

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us.
At 40, we don't care what they think of us.
At 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of
us at all."
--Ann Landers


"I am amazed at radio DJ:s today. I am firmly convinced
that AM stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell
you what FM stands for."
--Jasper Carrott


All the best...Ian Hewitt

Thoughts for the day..

  They may forget what you said,
                 but they will never forget how
                 you made them feel.
                         ~Carl W. Buechner

  It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen
  --Brigitte Bardot

                 All of the beautiful sentiments in the world
                 weigh less than a single lovely action.
                         ~James Russell Lowell

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do
and I understand.
  --Confucius

Be   kind   whenever   possible.
It is always possible.
--H. H. Dalai Lama

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Hi All, just updating my signature file again so here are more quotes. Also
a special "feelgood" project I'm doing. Check out ..
http://universityoflife.com/smiley.htm

If you like it, pass it on to someone you care about, and we will see how
quickly we can get 1,000,000 hits!

                 They may forget what you said,
                 but they will never forget how
                 you made them feel.
                         ~Carl W. Buechner

  It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen
  --Brigitte Bardo

                 All of the beautiful sentiments in the world
                 weigh less than a single lovely action.
                         ~James Russell Lowell

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do
and I understand.
  --Confucius


All the best...Ian Hewitt

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Thoughts for the day..

"Time is an illusion...lunchtime, doubly so."
--Douglas Adams, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe"


"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
- Theodore Roosevelt


"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you."
  - African Proverb


"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to
prayer."
- Mark Twain


Be   kind   whenever   possible.
It is always possible.
--H. H. Dalai Lama

Hi All, site was down for a while, here are some quotes and hope you visit
again for the new online typing test!

Enjoy.........

"Women who strive to be equal to men, lack ambition."
--Anonymous

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
--A Texas congressional candidate


"The Internet is a great way to get on the net."
--Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole


The bitterness of poor quality remains
long after the sweetness of meeting the schedule has
been forgotten.
  --Unattributed




All the best...Ian Hewitt

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Thoughts for the day..

Be   kind   whenever   possible.
It is always possible.
--H. H. Dalai Lama


"There is a pinch of the madman in every great man."
  - French Proverb

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers.
We are the president.
  -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed
       documents

"Those who can laugh without cause have either found
the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark
raving mad."
--Norm Papernick

Hi All, the quotes are still popular so here are some more.

Also I made   http://www.universityoflife.com/typingtest.htm  and would
love for you to try it out! Gives your  "words per minute" in a few seconds!

Take care  .........   Ian

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt
the world to himself.  Therefore all progress
depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw


"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals;
I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
(A. Whitney Brown, writer)


All the best...Ian Hewitt

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Thoughts for the day..

Let face facts, shall we? There is a very real possibility that this
could also be the *last* day of the rest of your life.
  --Dave Henry

Honolulu- it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the
wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
  -- Ken Dodd


  To beleive a thing to be impossible is to make it so
--A French Proverb

"Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and
the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money."
--Native American saying

It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that
belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen
--Author - Claude M. Bristol

** Hi All, due to popular demand (and lots of new members), more quotes!

Ian


What did the meditator say to the New York hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything..."


"The  world is wide, and I will not waste my life in friction when it could
be turned into momentum."
-  Frances Willard (American Philosopher)

Anybody with money to burn will easily find
     someone to tend the fire.
-Anonymous

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to
love our enemies; probably because generally they are
the same people.
  -- G.K. Chesterton



All the best...Ian Hewitt

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Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place
called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are
worse than your own.
  -Nelson Algren


I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a
chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.
  -- Henny Youngman


Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his
goal; Nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude
Author - Thomas Jefferson

The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything
Author - Bishop W. C. Magee

Hi All, well I'm changing my sig file again so here are a few ; o )


" Why yes -- a bulletproof vest."
- James Rodges, his final request before the firing squad


" Go away...I'm alright."
- Last words of H. G. Wells


" Now comes the mystery."
- Last words of Henry Ward Beecher


" Friends applaud, the comedy is over."
- Last words of Ludwig von Beethoven


" Drink to me."
Last words of Pablo Picasso


" And now, I am  dying beyond my means."
-- Oscar Wilde, sipping champagne on his deathbed
All the best...Ian Hewitt


From the Chicago Sun-Times: Burlington Homes in Bakersfield,
California has announced that it will no longer sell homes
to lawyers. They say their "experience is that home buyers
who are also lawyers threaten litigation (requiring
significantly greater management time as well as legal fees
and resolution costs) at a dramatically higher rate than
home buyers who are not lawyers." A lawyer is suing.


All the best...Ian Hewitt

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Well, I'm
     sure we can resolve this in
     a mature way. Right, Mr.
     Poopypants?
  -- Leslie Nielsen


It's never too late, in fiction or in life, to revise.
--Nancy Thayer


The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years
she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never
been found.

-- Calvin Trillin


     That is a babe! She makes me feel kinda funny,
     like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.
  -- Garth


Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

--Lily Tomlin

Hi All, well here are a couple of non smarmy quotes for mothers day.......


                      My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or
leave it.
                                -- Buddy Hackett

                      Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's
tasted better the day before.
                                -- Rita Rudner


All the best...Ian Hewitt

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Well, I'm
     sure we can resolve this in
     a mature way. Right, Mr.
     Poopypants?
  -- Leslie Nielsen


It's never too late, in fiction or in life, to revise.
--Nancy Thayer


The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years
she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never
been found.

-- Calvin Trillin


     That is a babe! She makes me feel kinda funny,
     like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.
  -- Garth


Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

--Lily Tomlin

** Hi All, this is the guy from University of Life. I love quotes and get a
few bits of email wisdom too. I get a kick out of passing em on.
Unfortunately you will have to put up with my looong signature file, as it
is on auto for all my email.

Anyway, they will be occasional and I'm also a webmaster so may pass on
some cool tips like
  http://www.teldir.com/ (Telephone directories on the web)

Please put up with any repeats and feel free to send me any uplifting
quotes you may find....... Enjoy!

Ian


Thoughts for the day...

Gary Tolbert
"Everybody is ignorant, only of different subjects."
Will Rogers

"We live and we learn. But, sadly, at different rates."
Alan Magid

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
Douglas Adams

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not
verything that counts can be counted."
A Einstein

"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is
serious."
  Brendan Gill

"When it comes to humility, I'm the greatest."
Bullwinkle Moose



All the best...Ian Hewitt

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There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
-Dave Barry

If you suffer and forgive those who made you
suffer, you are the stronger of the two.
- Derek Ivany

John Lennon's Mom (trying to get him to
eat his vegetables when he was a child):
All I am saying, John, is: 'Give peas a chance.'

Ego expands to fill the bandwidth available.
- Benfey's law

No medicine cures what happiness cannot.
-Gabriel Garcia Marquez

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The <italic>Quick  </italic>way to surf/shop the net!


If you know me, you will know why I made the quick searches above ; o
)

-Ian Hewitt


There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

-Dave Barry


If you suffer and forgive those who made you

suffer, you are the stronger of the two.

- Derek Ivany


John Lennon's Mom (trying to get him to

eat his vegetables when he was a child):

All I am saying, John, is: 'Give peas a chance.'


Ego expands to fill the bandwidth available.

- Benfey's law


No medicine cures what happiness cannot.

-Gabriel Garcia Marquez



All the best...Ian Hewitt


http://www.eslgames.com

For English Teachers


http://www.universityoflife.com

Fun online tests and games


http://www.iimac.com

Everything Apple!


http://www.barroms.com

Great business links


http://universityoflife.com/quicksearch.htm

The <italic>Quick  </italic>way to surf/shop the net!


If you know me, you will know why I made the quick searches above ; o
)

-Ian Hewitt


There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

-Dave Barry


If you suffer and forgive those who made you

suffer, you are the stronger of the two.

- Derek Ivany


John Lennon's Mom (trying to get him to

eat his vegetables when he was a child):

All I am saying, John, is: 'Give peas a chance.'


Ego expands to fill the bandwidth available.

- Benfey's law


No medicine cures what happiness cannot.

-Gabriel Garcia Marquez