Dear Lewis san,
thanks for your comments.
I would also go for the evening, and translate kiri as fog (mist is
more often usef for the spring kigo)
evening fogg <>
the horse remembers
the holes in the bridge
As for the courtiers and their four legged porsche, I am not so sure,
but it could well have been ... grin ...
Greetings from a fine autumn morning in Japan
GABI
>
> For me, "holes in the bridge" works better.
>
>
> I assume it's understood that because of the darkness and mist the rider
doesn't see the holes, is brought to attention by the horse's memory of them.
"yuu" perhaps evening rather than night.
>
>
> Calls to mind a well-known waka in the voice of a woman wishing her lover's
horse would break a leg to punish him for leaving at dawn.
>
>
> Did these guys (thinking Heian courtiers) really have to ride horses to visit
their lovers? Or was it more a matter of pulling up to the front door in your
Porsche to make an impression?
> Lewis Cook
>
> yuugiri ya uma no oboeshi hashi no ana.
>
> night mist--
> the horse remembers
> the bridge's hole ...
>
> Tr. David Lanoue
>
> Or: "holes in the bridge."
> About this haiku, Kai Falkman writes, "The entire picture is ...
> enveloped in mist as in a Japanese ink drawing.
> And the hole in the bridge appears to us solely through the horse's
> memory of it";
> Understanding Haiku: A Pyramid of Meaning (Winchester, VA: Red Moon
> Press, 2002) 82.
>
> http://haikuguy.com/issa/search.php?keywords=&romaji=oboeshi&comment=&year=
>
> The cut marker comes after line one
> night mist / evening fog YA
>
> Here is another version, where the hole in the bridge is in the focus
> of line one
>
> A hole in the bridge —
> the horse remembers it
> in the evening mist.
>
> Plum Blossom Zendo
> http://plumblossomzendo.myfastsite.com/2007/11/02/144/#comments
>
> yuugiri, evening fog, kigo for autumn
> http://worldkigodatabase.blogspot.com/2005/06/fog-mist-haze-and-more.html
>
> I am always trying to learn about translating the CUT MARKER, here the
> YA after the evening mist/fog.
>
> As I understand the haiku, the horse is avoiding the hole / holes in
> the bridge carefully, which makes its rider suddenly aware of the
> evening fog.
>
> lesson about the CUT
> http://haikuandhappiness.blogspot.com/2007/10/withered-branches.html
>
>
> Any further suggestions to the translation are welcome.
> GABI
>
>