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translatinghaiku · Translating Haiku, Studying Meanings

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  • Members: 56
  • Category: Haiku
  • Founded: Apr 14, 2006
  • Language: English
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Subject: Translations of Kikaku's Haiku   Message List  
Reply Message #135 of 3570 |
Below are my opinions of the translations. Zhanna (Zh.)

> Here are the translations into English so far (sorry of I missed any):
>
> When I think it is my snow
> On my hat,
> It seems light.
>
> --Blyth

Zh. I like it.
___________________

> This snow is mine
> thinking that way it seems lighter
> on your sedge hat
>
> --Bourdaghs

Zh. Nope.
_________________

> "It's mine," I think . . .
> and the snow seems lighter
> on my straw hat.
>
> --Carter

Zh. O.K., I guess.
_______________________

> if I think the snow mine
> my hat
> becomes light
>
> --Haldane

Zh. Nope.
________________

> "My snow!"--when I think that,
> it weighs almost nothing
> on my umbrella-hat!
>
> --Henderson

Zh. Good.
__________________

> "It's my snow"
> I think
> And the weight on my hat lightens
>
> --Kerr

Zh. Not clear where that snow is.
______________________________

> Think it's your snow, and it's light on your hat
>
> --Sato

Zh. Good.
>
> _______________________________________________________
>
>
> So, which one does everyone like best, or think is best?
>
> Larry
______________

I guess I like that of Henderson's the best.

Here are my attempts to express the haiku's idea.

Think of the snow on your hat
as a belonging,
and it'll feel weightless.

When I think the snow
on my hat is my belonging,
it seems weightless.

Zhanna P. Rader :)



Sun Apr 30, 2006 3:34 am

zhannarader
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Message #135 of 3570 |
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Below are my opinions of the translations. Zhanna (Zh.) ... Zh. I like it. ... Zh. Nope. ... Zh. O.K., I guess. ... Zh. Nope. ... Zh. Good. ... Zh. Not clear...
Zhanna Rader
zhannarader Offline Send Email
Apr 30, 2006
3:34 am
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