> > > >
> > > > jinsei ya wagaya mo tada no aki no yado
> > > >
> > > > Oh, the Human Life !
> > > > my own home just another
> > > > lodging for autumn
> > > >
> > > > Look at the haiga here
> > > > http://happyhaiku.blogspot.com/2006/10/aki-no-yado.html
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > *Still struggeling with the proper English:*
> > > >
> > > > The first line is a rather .. strong .. translation of the YA in
> > > Japanese.
> > > >
> > > > jinsei ya
> > > > wagaya mo tada no
> > > > aki no yado
> > > >
> > > > the Japanese version could also read
> > > >
> > > > jinsei ya wgami mo tada no aki no yado
> > > >
> > > > wagami ²æ€¬¿È ... my human body
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > *aki no yado*, an inn, a lodging. Herberge in German would be
> > > appropriate.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Greetings from Autumn in Japan !
> > > > GABI
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > > This is beautiful, Gabi. It's yours, right? A couple of small
> > > suggestions, for line 1 in English. First, drop 'the' (it's a
> > > foreigner's mistake!). Second, the capital H and L make the line very
> > > heavy - in contrast to the lightness which I believe is the general
> > > intention of the haiku. Lastly, in English (afaik) we never put a
> > > space before '!'.
> > >
> > > I think 'lodging' is exactly the right word (better than 'lodge' which
> > > you have on the webpage). Because it's a gerund noun, it retains its
> > > verbal flavour, and has a very appropriate ring of transience.
> > >
> > > ho, homa vivo!
> > > mia propra hejmo nur
> > > a«ætungastejo
> > >
> > > May I post this on an Esperanto haiku site?
> > >
> > > Best wishes
> > > Norman
> > >
> >
> >
> > I agree with Norman about the use of 'the' in the first line. However,
> > I think you do need a word there, rather than just saying, "Oh,
> > human life!" I would suggest saying, "Oh, this human life!" especially
> > since you aren't talking about human life in general, but yours in
> > particular, since you then refer to "my own home..."
> >
> > As a matter of fact, "Oh, this human life" is an inadvertent quote
> > from Mark Twain:
> >
> > "Oh, this human life, this earthy life, this weary life! It is so
> > groveling, and so mean; its ambitions are so paltry, its prides so
> > trivial, its vanities so childish; and the glories that it values and
> > applauds- lord, how empty!"
> >
> > - No. 44, The Mysterious Stranger
> >
> > Larry
> >
>
> Well, certainly Larry is right if you *are* referring specifically to
> your own life with 'jinsei', but I took this introduction to refer to
> life in general, before shifting focus to the personal with 'my own
> home'. (Parenthetically - hence the parentheses - one often hears the
> expression 'Oh, life!' here, and I didn't realise it was an Irishism).
> Larry, I can't help remarking that Twain's quoted use of 'this human
> life' seems to refer to life in general, rather than meaning 'this
> (my) life' too :)
>
> Best wishes
> Norman
>
..............................
>
thanks for all your comments.
The first line should refer to human and of course animal and other
life in general

I was sitting in my bathtub in the mornign when I thought of the
shortness and pettiness of all human life ... even my home, threatened
by earthquakes and mudslides, is nothing but a small temporarily hut
in this huge universe of change ...

so even .. wagami .. came to mind, my own body nothing but a
temporary shelter for the big mind ...

and now, I am off to my bathtub again ... maybe another inspriation
waits there ..
:o)

see you later

by the way, the esperanto does not show clearly, but go ahead and use it ...

GABI