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THE PROPHET SPEAKETH
College Football's Place for Foolishness on the Internet
© 2003 P. Chamlis/The Prophet Speaketh, All Rights Reserved
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Another pothole on the information superhighway,
conveniently located at
http://workmanpoll.cnchost.com/prophet
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theprophetspeaks

THE PROPHET'S RECORD FOR THE 2003 SEASON, through 11/22/03, is
GAMES FORECAST 461
GAMES CORRECT 343
PCT CORRECT 74.4%
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First of all, let me wish all of my loyal readers the happiest and
most bountiful of Thanksgivings. We all have so much to be thankful
for. I, personally, would be thankful for a few more wins, but no
need to be greedy on such a special holiday! Now on to our picks...

Thursday (Thanksgiving Day), November 27, 2003
Mississippi at Mississippi State
This annual contest is dubbed "The Egg Bowl" down in the Magnolia
State. And for Ole Miss, the egg analogy might just fit. "Humpty
Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the
King's horses and all the King's men, couldn't put Humpty Dumpty
back together again." The Rebels controlled their destiny, and had
only to defeat LSU last Saturday to guarantee a trip the SECCG in
Atlanta. But what many (including Prophet) had predicted on
numerous occasions finally occurred, as Ole Miss collected that
first conference loss of 2003. Funny thing, though....I gained more
respect for 2003 Rebel football in last weekend's defeat than in a
month's worth of (sometimes lucky) wins. This team has fight. They
play hard and they've learned that defense matters, too. It's a
shame that they've fallen off the old SEC West championship wall,
though. As for anyone "putting things back together again", I'm sad
to report that Cutcliffe and company will find neither Kings, horses
or men in Starkville on Thursday night. But, there ARE a bunch of
pigs up in Arkansas that might still play a role in putting Dumpty
back together in time for Atlanta. We'll just have to see what
happens in the LSU-Arkansas contest. As for this Egg Bowl, look for
Eli Manning to cut up the Bulldog defense like a sharp knife goin'
through rotten egg salad. Rebels by 16.

Friday, November 28, 2003
Nebraska at Colorado
The Big XII just can't seem to figure out the right combo for their
big "end of the season" game. For years, it was Nebraska playing
Oklahoma. Then, the Sooners fell on hard times and Colorado became
a national power. The conference schedule-makers started the slow
process of change that would result in an annual big finish
featuring the Huskers and Buffs. But by the time it became an
annual event, both Colorado and Nebraska slid into national power
history mode, leaving us all watching a Friday fight for second
place. Then again, I guess none of this means anything now that the
conference has a championship game. So, to see which coach (Solich
or Barnette) gets another loss in an already disappointing season,
don't miss this match. But to see who's going to the BCS, tune in
next Saturday. Colorado by 2.

Arizona at Arizona State
Things are always pretty dry in Arizona, but from a football
standpoint, 2003 has been one big drought. The Tucson Mildcats have
already canned one coach, and are looking to shed their interim
keeper upon completion of this game. Rumor has it that Oklahoma
defensive coordinator Mike Stoopes is set to run the cat house at
Arizona starting immediately after the Big XII title game.
Something tells me that anyone ELSE at OU looking to move into the
head coaching ranks might be well served to ship a few resumes over
to Arizona State as well....there might just be another D-1 job
opening up in the ol' Grand Canyon State. As for this weekend's
battle of desert have-nots, look for the hometown Devils to squeeze
a few more drops of football success from this end of the 2003
season. Arizona State by 4.

Texas at Texas A&M
The Aggies and Longhorns have a lot in common this year. First,
neither one of them is getting anywhere near the Big XII
championship game next weekend. And, both suffered biblical defeats
at the hands of the uncrowned 2003 national champion OU Sooners.
Way back when Oklahoma kicked the crap out of Texas in the Red River
shootout, I bet Mack Brown and company never figured there was SOME
good news. The good news turns out to be that Oklahoma beat the
Aggies even worse. But, that's easy to understand as A&M had a lot
more crap for the Sooners to kick out of them. And, it might be
hard to believe that Oklahoma left anything for Texas to kick in
this game, but they did. Kicking out what little crap's left in
Dennis Frangione's Aggies, call this one Horns by 14.

Arkansas at LSU
As you read in my Egg Bowl write-up, Ole Miss isn't completely done
in the race for the SEC West crown. If Arkansas can just upset the
Bayou Bengals, Eli Manning and company can take their Rebel guns to
Atlanta for a shot at the BCS. Sadly for the boys up at Oxford,
they're about to make the same mistake that Prophet has made on
numerous occasions this year, namely counting on Arkansas. Look for
LSU to hog the glory at home in Baton Rouge, with the Tigers
collecting a solid 10 point win.

Saturday, November 29, 2003
Syracuse at Rutgers
I think Lee Corso is getting Alzheimer's or something. Did you see
him going on and on about how he thought Syracuse was going to upset
West Virginia last Saturday?? I know Lee goes to lots of football
games. Does he actually WATCH any of them? What had Syracuse done
in the last six or seven weeks to make any rational person feel so
strongly about their chances of pulling an upset against one of the
hottest teams in the country? Yo. I'll tell you how weak ::I:: am
on the Orangemen. I'm picking them to defeat mighty Rutgers this
weekend, but I think it'll be close. And, since it's on the road
and it might be "in weather", I'll fess up.....I'm scared. In one
of my shakiest picks of the weeks, I'll show a slight crumb of faith
in the mighty Orangemen. Syracuse by 1.

Temple at West Virginia
The Temple Owls keep catching the Big East powers at the right
time. Right after Miami, Virginia Tech or Pittsburgh has a huge
game, they line up against lowly Temple. And the resulting let-
downs have produced some much closer than expected contests. The
same situation exists for this weekend, as Rich Rodriguez's
Hillbillies are coming off a big backyard massacre of the Pittsburgh
Panthers, followed by a road win over mighty <vbg> Syracuse. It
would seem that Temple is destined to get less than West
Virginia's "A" effort. But, as logical as that all seems, I don't
see any problems occurring for the Morganton folk. Whatever is
driving WVU's recent "high" doesn't appear to wear off readily, and
I believe Temple's just in line for another old fashioned mountain
ass-whuppin'. As for whoever's distilling out the fine "whup ass"
that Rodriguez and crew have been drinking....let's just say that
the athletic department needs to put them on the payroll.
Mountaineers by 21.

Alabama at Hawaii
Sure, Alabama's on probation and they've had a crummy season. Then
again, I know a lot of teams headed off to nothing bowl games who'd
gladly switch positions with the Crimson Tide for this weekend.
Think about it.. What would you rather do? Practice all through
the holidays and then go to the Humanitarian Bowl in Boise, where
it'll be about 3 degrees with a wind chill factor of minus 20....so
cold, in fact, that the football field will be blue. <g> Or, you
could just finish up your regular season with a leisurely jaunt to
Hawaii, play a little football, do a little surfin', have a little
luau, etc. Kind of makes going 4-8 sound like something good,
doesn't it? Make that 5-8, folks. Finishing off 2003 with a win in
paradise, call it Tide by 9.

Notre Dame at Stanford
A few years ago, the South Bend faithful were highly offended and
outraged when the audacious Stanford band appeared at Notre Dame
stadium with their drum major dressed as a priest. He even directed
the band with a cross! However, it's not that long-ago sacrilege
that's really stirred up the folks in Indiana. The fact is, the
Irish fans are more upset with the COACH they got from Stanford.
<g> Look for Notre Dame to return to truly Irish football on this
trip west, as Ty Willingham abandons the west coast offense where he
first found it. In a road upset, Notre Dame sticks with the ground
game, winning a close one. Call it by 2.

Iowa State at Missouri
Every time ESPN updated last weekend's Missouri-Kansas State game,
they sounded so apologetic as they chronicled the Tigers'
trouncing. The network announcers kept reassuring us that Missouri
would still get to wind up their season next weekend against Iowa
State, as if EVERY team deserved to win their last game. That's not
true, as we all know. It's sure as hell not true for the Cyclones
Saturday in Columbia. Getting that last win that they so
desperately deserve <g>, call this one Mizzou by 7.

Maryland at Wake Forest
It's appropriate the Terps finish their season at the Wake Forest
sanctuary of Reverend Jim Grobe. You see, Ralph Friedgen and
company were the beneficiaries of an answered prayer last weekend,
when T. A. MacLendon of NC State conveniently and (it's becoming)
predictably fumbled at midfield late in a tied football game. Some
teams will do anything to avoid overtime. <g> Now, if any team
should understand the power of prayer, it ought to be a bunch of
Demon Deacons. But since early September, the prayers from Winston-
Salem have pretty much gone unanswered. It definitely seems like
time for a revival at Wake Forest, but I don't see one planned in
time for anyone to get saved on Saturday. Maryland gets another ACC
prayer answered, resulting in a nice little holiday trip somewhere.
Turtles by 12.

Tennessee at Kentucky
In the springtime, Kentucky hosts "The Run for the Roses" at the
Kentucky Derby. Every other fall, I like to say that the
Commonwealth is home to the "Run for the Hoses", as fans of these
two prime whiskey-producing states hook up. The local and distant
distilleries will get a work-out, before, during and after this
contest. But come game's end, the UT fans will be drinking in
celebration, while the Wildcat crew drinks to forget. Call this one
an unforgettable 14 point Volunteer win.

Southern Mississippi at East Carolina
Considering what a rotten season that ECU has had, I'd expect very
little in the way of crowd or excitement for this closing contest.
However, the Eagles of USM might find a little something extra in
their Christmas stockings this year, courtesy of the BCS. After the
great service done by Southern Miss for major conference football
last Thursday night (the thrashing of BCS wannabe TCU), I'd expect a
big truckload of unmarked bills to find their way to Hattiesburg
just in time for the shopping season. In this game, look for USM to
ring ECU's Christmas bells early. Eagles by 17.

South Florida at Memphis
The USF Bulls stampede into Memphis, looking to close out their CUSA
season. Now generally, when folks in this river town have a
barbecue, they're roasting piggies. But with so much prime beef
just there for the takin', they'll alter the menu a bit on
Saturday. Look for the Tigers to teach the coastal kids a few
verses of Memphis blues on Saturday as they "steak" their claim to a
closing conference win. Tigers by 10.

TCU at SMU
Before last Thursday night's game, people looked at the TCU-SMU
contest and declared it a wash. They said that there was NO WAY
that the Mustangs, arguably the worst team in Division 1 football,
could ruin the Horned Frogs' perfect season. As it turns out, they
won't have to, as Southern Miss already did the honors last week in
Hattiesburg. It's amazing how much different a "perfect" season is
from a "near-perfect" one, when you're not in a BCS conference.
Now the college football world can return to more important matters,
and can forget fretting about SMU's inability to beat TCU. As for
the game, everyone's right. The Frogs will saddle up for a nice and
easy ride in Big D on Saturday. About the only thing SMU has in
common with TCU's recent conquerors are initials. (SMU and USM) A
big, big eleventh win that's a week too late nets Texas Christian a
not-so-big holiday bowl trip. Frogs by 21.

Georgia at Georgia Tech
It's a good thing that the SEC added that BCS clause thing into
their SEC East tie breaker formula. Otherwise, Mark Richt's
Bulldogs might go to Atlanta without a good reason to play
football. And, we've all seen how prone these pups are to miss the
old newspaper when the game isn't (a) a big, big game or (b) against
Florida. Speaking of newspapers, I haven't read anything lately
about that long Yellowjacket winning streak that freshman QB Reggie
Ball predicted back in September. Look for Georgia to do enough
biting to chew up another close win, thereby securing their trip
BACK to Atlanta next weekend for a much bigger contest. Bulldogs
by 6.

Virginia Tech at Virginia
Something is wrong at Virginia Tech. Ever since the upset loss to
West Virginia, the Hokies have barely showed up for any football
games, save the crusade against Miami. I think that there is
dissension and mistrust on this football team. The only way to pull
them together is to have a hated common enemy that supercedes any
jealousy or bitterness that exists in the locker room. As for this
weekend's trip to Charlottesville, there's no doubt that Tech
dislikes Virginia. But, I don't believe they'll be able to hate the
Cavaliers enough to pull together for one more decent effort. And
unlike the Temple game last weekend, it WILL take some degree of vim
and vigor to defeat Virginia. Beamer and company might want to re-
address their recent policy of "barely showing up". Not showing up
might be a better idea here. Cavaliers by 7.

Miami at Pittsburgh
A lot was made several weeks ago about the Pitt Panthers being the
only team in the Big East that "controlled their destiny". That was
mighty high cotton for a team that lost to Notre Dame, I'd say. But
having said so, it WAS true...at least until the annual backyard
brawl against West Virginia. The Hillbillies, who probably can't
even spell "control", much less "destiny", were able to spell DOOM
for Pittsburgh's big bowl plans. This weekend's visit from the
hated Hurricanes will only determine exactly how low Pittsburgh and
Miami sink into the Big East's second and third choice bowls. A
storm has been brewing over the quarterback position at UM and
suddenly Larry Coker is faced with his first serious challenge in
three years as a head coach. This game also has Heisman
implications for the best receiver in America, Larry Fitzgerald, who
seems able to catch the football without fighting a war at the same
time. These have truly been rainy days at Miami. And for this
weekend, the bad news is that it might even snow. Folks, I got no
real good reason, and I wouldn't mind a bit being wrong.
But....Miami will find a way to win this game ugly, no matter which
QB of the moment is taking snaps. Walter Payton's boy will be a big
factor in the outcome of this up-north nasty-rama. Hurricanes by 4.

Fresno State at UTEP
As all of you must know by now, I'm a Florida State University
supporter and grad. I try not to let my Seminole leanings bleed
heavily into the column, and you KNOW I pick on FSU quite a bit. As
for this game, I really couldn't think of anything funny to say.
And, I don't think it's much of a contest, really. But, I wanted to
make sure that one of my FSU win picks comes through this weekend.
FSU (West) by 10.

Florida State at Florida
Ron Zook and his inexperienced but talented Gators have finally
unlocked the magic bottle of football success. "One should not beat
thyself". Zook and company have scaled back their offensive plan,
allowing the promising Chris Leak to develop naturally without the
pressure of carrying the entire team. The Zook mantra is that a
mistake-free Florida is tough to beat. On the other side of the
line, FSU has taken a few more steps back towards the national
prominence of the late 90's. The Noles are not yet as feared as
were the clubs of Warrick and Ward, but they've made progress back
towards the ten victory plateau. Like their counterparts in
Gainesville, the Seminoles "QB Chris" benefits from a simpler game
plan, which is kind of sad considering that Mr. Rix is now a
redshirt junior. But still, things have improved at Florida State.
Some will say that the Seminoles actually haven't beaten anyone of
note this year, and I'd disagree. On at least two occasions, they
beat themselves...or more correctly, they helped beat themselves.
The possibility of another self-immolation exists Saturday afternoon
in the swamp. But, if the Seminoles can minimize Chris Rix' impact
on the game, things just might swing their way. In a hard-fought
and close contest, look for FSU to finally beat SOMEBODY in 2003.
FSU (East) by 3.