"With nothing can one approach a work of art so little as with critical words: 
they always come down to more or less happy misunderstandings.  Things are not
so comprehensible and expressible as one would mostly have us believe;  most
events are inexpressible, taking place in a realm which no word has ever
entered, and more inexpressible than all else are works of art, mysterious
existences, the life of which, while ours passes away, endures."

--- In the-artists-life@yahoogroups.com, rose_nl_99 <no_reply@...> wrote:
>
> Isn't it quiet in here, in a time freedom of speech is so actual... in
> the Netherlands we had the Fitna movie and with the Games we have
> Tibet. Last summer I visited Tibet and I support all non-violent
protest.
> How have you been, Gus?
>


Hi Rose,

Thanks for stopping by.  It's nice to hear from you.

I've been active artistically lately in cyberspace at "Second Life"
and meanwhile in Real Life where I'm still working on a novel.

Meanwhile, I've been setting up my novel to give it away for free at
http://freefiction.benjava.com  I'll make more of an announcement when
it is actually ready.


Regards,
Gus

Isn't it quiet in here, in a time freedom of speech is so actual... in
the Netherlands we had the Fitna movie and with the Games we have
Tibet. Last summer I visited Tibet and I support all non-violent protest.
How have you been, Gus?

From the Journals of Gustav BenJava, Dec 15, 2007:

Tonight my daughter and I watched The Incredibles.  It's a fun movie,
but what I like most about it is that it is such a literary movie.  It
is a movie with dialog and situations that are well crafted, and, in
addition to making you laugh and holding you on the edge of your chair
in suspense, it makes you think.

Dash: But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of,
our powers made us special.
Helen: Everyone's special, Dash.
Dash: [muttering] Which is another way of saying no one is.

Syndrome: Oh, I'm real. Real enough to defeat you! And I did it
without your precious gifts, your oh-so-special powers. I'll give them
heroics. I'll give them the most spectacular heroics the world has
ever seen! And when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my
inventions so that *everyone* can have powers. *Everyone* can be
Super! And when everyone's Super...
[chuckles evilly]
Syndrome: No one will be.

A nice literary technique here where the meaning of this thread is
tied up neatly on both ends: one toward the start of the move, and the
other toward the end.  One by a hero and one by the villain.

I think on this topic often - about the importance of ideas -
innovation and progress - about what makes a great actor or actress
great, about what they do or have done to achieve what we call
greatness - about great directors, producers, photographers,
cinematographers, decorators, artists of every sort who work to put
together a movie, a video game, a ballet, a concert: any sort of major
collaborative work of art.

I find myself a constant lover of beauty,but not just a beauty of
shape and line and texture and form, of color and dimension and
perspective, but BEAUTY of IDEA.  Beauty of prototype and meaning.

I am firmly convinced that there is a beauty of meaning beneath the
surface of every other sort of beauty: all that can be sensed either
visually or through sound, through the beauty of taste and touch and
scent or through a symmetry of all these things combined.

I believe I have only created such beauty as I can be truly proud of
once or twice in my life.  But it is a significant thing, I think,
that I am even capable of observing this beauty - for so many people
(most people it seems) just let it slip past them, never taking notice.

How's your artistic life holding up amidst flood and fire, disaster
and politics?

Does adversity motivate you to work harder, express yourself more, or
do you need a nice spot of shade to sit down in and
paint/sketch/sculpt/write in the cool breeze?

Just wondering how everything is going.

Cheers!

The unbearable dissymmetry of concept and form

Many years ago I told a friend that I was a "tortured artist".

"You don't need to be a tortured artist," my friend replied.  "No one
needs to be a tortured artist.  Plenty of people become successful
artists without ever being tortured artists."

"Well, I assure you," I answered.  "In my case it is not a choice.  It
maybe a choice for some people, but for me it is not a choice.  I am
tortured because my soul is tortured.  Some element of my soul that I
cannot control is tortured day and night."

"What does it mean to be a 'tortured artist'?" my friend asked.  I
knew my friend was waxing didactic at this point, but I went along
because I thought it would be interesting and informative to see what
she said.

"Well," I answered.  "I have no idea what it means for most people to
be a tortured artist.  But in my case, when I say that I am a tortured
artist, it means that I have too many ideas in my head and I cannot
possibly express them all.  I have ideas and dreams, and colors and
shapes, and visions, and voices.  Fragments of lines, and incomplete
thoughts.  Impressions and places, places that do not exist in this
universe and places that do, and places that we fear might exist, and
places where we long to look.  There are places that we dread to bear
the sight of, and visions of people and things, both hideous and
marvelous at once.

"My head is full of such things night and day, day and night, and I
cannot possibly express them all in a meaningful manner in one lifetime."

My friend was just looking at me mystified at this point, and so I
continued.

"I have heard of writers block before.  From what I understand, the
concept is simple: a writer cannot think of what to write any more, so
he sits idle for days, weeks, months, sometimes even years.  I will
never have writers block, because I cannot stop thinking of things to
write."

"Don't you think that's a bit full of pride," my friend answered.

I had heard people say this before.  I was quite certain they were
mistaken.

"I am not boasting of any idea I've had.  I'm not boasting of anything
I've accomplished.  On the contrary, I'm telling you about a mortal
affliction.  It is an illness. I am a tortured artist, not in name
only, but because my soul is tortured day and night by all that I
envision, and all that I cannot possibly accomplish."

My friend appeared about to laugh.  Yes, just laugh in my face, I thought.

"Don't make yourself always to be a victim," my friend said.

This made me stop and think.  Was I making myself a victim?  It had
never occurred to me that way before.

Well, that was the end of the conversation many years ago.  I thought
about that for a long time.  Was I making myself a victim, by thinking
that my lot in life was too much for any one man to handle?

Years later I met someone that told me, "the main thing you have to do
is focus.  We all have too many ideas.  We all sometimes lose
ourselves in the rush to be creative in a thousand different directions."

It wasn't long after this I met a man at a writer's conference who
couldn't get his books published, couldn't get his poems published,
couldn't get his music published, couldn't find anyone to publish his
photography, and so on.  It made me realize that a person could spread
themselves out too thin with the creative instinct, and end up
accomplishing nothing at all.

Well, now many years have gone by.  I've written half a dozen novels,
and self-published two of them, just because I wanted people to read
them.  I've written hundreds of poems and published the best of them
in chapbooks and on the internet - mostly because I cannot stand
sending things out to editors who aren't even going to bother to read
them in most cases before they send them back and say "I'm sorry, it's
not for us."  I've also written dozens of stories and some of these
I've published here and there on the internet.

I've had my poetry and stories found on the internet by people all
over the world, and they've written to me (by email) about them.  I've
had poems selected for anthologies, and even accepted several requests
by people that asked me if they could publish one of my poems in their
magazines.  I've had my poetry turned into a ballet, and had students
ask me if they could quote me in their homework, and I've been
interviewed on TV and written about in college newspapers.  But I've
never made a dime.  I've never achieved "success" in gold-plated
Hollywood style letters.

At times one becomes weary.

And I have, after all, at last discovered what writer's block is, and
become intimately familiar with it.  It isn't when you run out of
ideas, but rather when you don't know what to do next, and so you just
give up and take it easy for a while and stop writing.

You can tell yourself that you just aren't feeling inspired right now.
  Or, worse, you can tell yourself nothing at all, but simply squander
your extra days and hours playing video games or browsing the
internet.  It is easy to find a hole to sink into; you don't really
have to look hard.

But the worst aspect of writers block is remembering that you were
once tortured by ideas, and filled with longing to express them, and
wondering where that passion went.  Is life any better without that
passion?  Is life any easier?

And then you remember that you actually still have all of those ideas.
  Perhaps you've found a place to express some of them over the years,
but for most of those ideas you are up against a block: The unbearable
dissymmetry of concept and form.  You want so much, like a God giving
flesh to His Son, incarnate those ideas.  You want to give them form,
but you find yourself helpless to do so.  You find that your mind is
spinning, whirling in too many directions, and it leads you to a sort
of insanity where you are completely incapacitated.  It isn't the lack
of ideas that is blocking you, but the lack of knowing what to do with
them.

Your days become longer, and your dreams deeper.  You awake late in
the morning, and stay up late at night, because you are afraid to
sleep, afraid of what you will find there.

It is the life of a tortured artist.  And you are a victim - it isn't
your fault.  You couldn't have possibly chosen this life for yourself,
and you'd be happy to give it all back.  But what does giving it back
mean?  What it will it mean to sleep again in peace by night and awake
early in the morning?

It would mean compromise.  It would mean giving up.

The tortured artist is the artist that struggles with his own soul,
but he does not do this alone, and it is not without meaning.  He
struggles with his own soul on behalf of humanity.  He struggles to
find his place in this world, so that others might find their own
places.  He struggles to find a place for his ideas, not because they
are unique, but because they are universal.  He struggles to give them
flesh, to make them walk, talk and breathe.  Even though some of them
are foolish, empty, even evil, he must flesh them out, because he
knows that along with the bad there is good, and that the good makes
it all worth while.  In the end, the wood, hay and stubble will be
burned up, but the gold, silver and precious stones will endure the
fire, and become universally beneficial.

I've found that I was wrong all those years ago.  I am susceptible to
writers block, but not because I run out of ideas.  It happens when I
give up the struggle.  It happens when I accept mediocrity.  It
happens when I allow the every day cares of life to triumph over the
soulful expression of ideas.

I hope and pray I will not let it happen again!


~ Gustav BenJava, Jan 06, 2007

Wishing everyone a very Happy (and artistic) New Year!

Regards,
Bog

Hi to Everyone (whomever that may be)!

I hope all is well in life and art.

So many interesting things have happened in the arts world since we
last spoke to one another.  Art, like life, goes on.

I have been working on things that have to do with my appreciation of
the Russian language, and people, lately, and I came across this
beautiful photography site at the Phystec Institute (the proper name
of the place is the Moscow Physical-Techncal Institute.)

http://photo.mipt.ru/authors/stalker/reports/vdf_2005/

They've got such beautiful photography.  My favorite one was this one
here:
http://photo.mipt.ru/authors/qq1987/reports/oldtimer.html?start=45&img=467745

The caption reads: "A remarkable young woman in a red mustang."  The
phrase that follows is not directly translateable into English, but a
close translation would be "if I had lived only to look upon this and
then to die - it would have been enough."

Well, written by a young man who had obvious appreciation of beauty.

The photo gallery is from some sort of exotic car show they had in
Moscow last Feb or so.

Loads of great photos.

Cheers!
Gus

War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace.
-- Thomas Mann

check out my new paintings http://www.rosemarijndissen.nl click on
'2005-2006'
thanks,
Rose

--- In the-artists-life@yahoogroups.com, rose_nl_99 <no_reply@...>
wrote:
>
> It's sad. I live in The Netherlands, a socalled progressive country
> where 'everything 'goes. Would I be to buy a t-shirt with the Danish
> flag from the website, I would be in trouble. In the Netherlands
live
> many muslim people. From Maroccan and Turkish origin.
> I could be in serious trouble wearing a Danish flag t-shirt. In my
> country , always proud of the tolerance of all people, in my city of
> Amsterdam. always has been famous for it's open mind etc...
> is it all over?
> R

I know what you mean, Rose.  It's really distressing.

I always thought the U.S.A. prided itself in freedom of speech, but
here hardly anyone is speaking out on behalf of freedom of speech
because of this issue.  They think it is freedom of speech in our
country when you put a sculpture in a museum that is nothing more
than a cross in a jar of urine, and yet it is religious intolerance
now to post a cartoon of Mohammad with a bomb wrapped up in his
turban.  (Even when we know that daily Muslims are blowing people up
because they believe it is a part of their faith.)

I don't get it.

I'm not saying "all Muslims are that way".  But the facts are that
the terrorists claim that it is because of their Islamic faith.  I
think a cartoon with Mohammad with a bomb in his turban is quite
eloquent: it asks the Muslim: "is this really what you believe?  is
that all your religion is about: death and destruction and killing
others?"  That's a poignant question to ask of any religion.

Regards,
Gus

Hi Everyone,

I'm looking for volunteers to give free books to.

Either my first novel (for which sales picked up last year for no
understandable reason):

http://www.benjava.com/nikki/

or my second novel:

http://www.benjava.com/dante/

which ever one sounds most interesting to you.

If you are interested, email me with "free book offer" in the subject
line.  You could reply to the group, but I don't read this stuff very
often.  Please email me at my main email address gustav@... -
you can cc me here if you want but I don't check my email here very
often.

The Catch???

All I ask is that you:
a) read it, and
b) post some comment about it on http://www.amazon.com or
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/

I don't care if you think the books are awful (although I extrememly
doubt it) and want to warn people against reading it.  Just so long
as I get some more reader feedback.

Thanks!
Gus

P.S.  Also, if you get a chance, stop by the group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/the-artists-life/
and tell us how things are going.   Cheers! Gus

It's sad. I live in The Netherlands, a socalled progressive country
where 'everything 'goes. Would I be to buy a t-shirt with the Danish
flag from the website, I would be in trouble. In the Netherlands live
many muslim people. From Maroccan and Turkish origin.
I could be in serious trouble wearing a Danish flag t-shirt. In my
country , always proud of the tolerance of all people, in my city of
Amsterdam. always has been famous for it's open mind etc...
is it all over?
R

--- In the-artists-life@yahoogroups.com, le_pennybog <no_reply@...> wrote:
>
> Okay folks, here's the scoop:
>
> Freedom of speech and freedom of expression are what it is all about
> when you are an artist.
>
> Those of you who know me, know that in some 8 to 10 years that I've
> had this yahoo group, I have never promoted a cause.
>
> Well, I think this cause is worth promoting:
>
> Buy Danish:
> http://www.buy-danishproducts.com/
>
> You don't have to go to any specific web site, or any specific store.
>  All you have to do is buy danish products.
>
> Something to think about, okay!
>
> Cheers!
>
> Gus
>

Okay folks, here's the scoop:

Freedom of speech and freedom of expression are what it is all about
when you are an artist.

Those of you who know me, know that in some 8 to 10 years that I've
had this yahoo group, I have never promoted a cause.

Well, I think this cause is worth promoting:

Buy Danish:
http://www.buy-danishproducts.com/

You don't have to go to any specific web site, or any specific store.
  All you have to do is buy danish products.

Something to think about, okay!

Cheers!

Gus

Need I say more?

Cheers!
Gus

How are things in your neck of the arts world?

~gus~

In fact, by all accounts he's dead.

Not really.

I love life.  I love art.

If you don't love life, you are paying it too much attention.  Let it
loose a little bit and don't fret so much about it.

I've been writing again lately and it is a good thing.  I'm highly
undisciplined as a writer, and so, when I write, it is always a good
thing.

But what's not?  I'm on a diet.  When I write it makes me ravenously
hungry.

Oh well.

Cheers!
Gus

Hey everone?  How is life and art for you?

For me:

I am still working on my "Western" novel.  It will not be a very
traditional western (as I don't <i>do</i> traditional!  But it will be
historically accurate, as much as it can be.

I now have two completly different, and incompatable stories that I'm
working on in my head:

1. "The Ghost of J. D. Blackburn" tells of the mysterious J. D.
Blackburn and his demise, along with hints as to where 9 million
dollars worth of GOLD is still burried somewhere in Southern Oregon.

2.  "The Last Pirate"  tells of a mysterious man who went from being a
Pirate to a stage coach robber to a respectable business man (who
thought he'd kept his secret with him to the grave.)

Well, as for "working on them" it is mostly all thought processes at
this point: gathering impressions of places and times, and people.
Taking pictures and finding pictures (on the internet) research,
research, research.

The other worlds of my art all have to do with writing spur of the
moment stories or blogging on one of my many blogs.

Cheers!
Gus

A small gallery in the Netherlands is looking for paintings related to
Jazz. Portraits of jazz musicians or other links to jazz.
The art will be exhibited during a Jazz festival in the city of
Haarlem in August. You can send a photo fo your work to
galerieartsite@... to see if you have what they are looking
for. Note: You will have to pay for all postal costs. When the
gallerie sells your work you have to give them 40%. There are no other
fees and there will be flyers, cards and publicity.
Send in your Jazz art!
Rose

I finished my taxes YEAAAAH! In time, for the first time in years LOL
Time for some partying.
Some painting too, it's really cold here so that's a good start for a
day in the artstudio, trying to keep the cold out with my two cats.
Rose

--- In the-artists-life@yahoogroups.com, rose_nl_99 <no_reply@y...> wrote:
>
> I still didnt take care of my taxes! I started to do so but I'm busy
> with my artgallery (it opened in Haarlem, The Netherlands last
> December) this afternoon we're having another vernissage. Check
> http://www.galerieartsite.nl so I have a wonderful pile of paper
> waiting for me to take care of this coming weekend.
> I did sell some paintings this year, that makes me so happy:
> especially because it means people are interested in my view of the
> world. But I spent way more than I earned LOL
> We have an expression that goes something like: money has to role
> Rose
>
>
> --- In the-artists-life@yahoogroups.com, gusbenjava <no_reply@y...>
wrote:
> >
> > --- In the-artists-life@yahoogroups.com, rose_nl_99 <no_reply@y...>
> > wrote:
> >
> > > Did you know in The Netherlands the IRS uses a slogan: 'We can't
> > make
> > > it more fun, but we can make it more simple'? Meaning they'll help
> > you
> > >  filling out the forms. Helping us? Ripping us off, draining us, %
> > #@*&!!!
> > > Rose
> > > www.galerieartsite.nl
> > >
> >
> > LOL, Rose.
> >
> > Well, I can finally laugh because I actually sat down and took care
> > of my taxes.  The main thing was:  I got some new accounting software
> > free this year that came with an accounting class I had to take for
> > work.  So, the main thing was entering all my business stuff into the
> > accounting software.  Well, I did it!  Hurrrah!  Then all I had to do
> > was print out the reports and send them with my personal financials
> > to my tax accountant.  I can rest now.
> >
> > This year I still didn't make a profit writing, but I actually did
> > make some money for the first time in several years.  Hurrah!
> >
> > Maybe next year I will break even.
> >
> > One can hope.
> >
> > Cheers!
> > Gus

I still didnt take care of my taxes! I started to do so but I'm busy
with my artgallery (it opened in Haarlem, The Netherlands last
December) this afternoon we're having another vernissage. Check
http://www.galerieartsite.nl so I have a wonderful pile of paper
waiting for me to take care of this coming weekend.
I did sell some paintings this year, that makes me so happy:
especially because it means people are interested in my view of the
world. But I spent way more than I earned LOL
We have an expression that goes something like: money has to role
Rose


--- In the-artists-life@yahoogroups.com, gusbenjava <no_reply@y...> wrote:
>
> --- In the-artists-life@yahoogroups.com, rose_nl_99 <no_reply@y...>
> wrote:
>
> > Did you know in The Netherlands the IRS uses a slogan: 'We can't
> make
> > it more fun, but we can make it more simple'? Meaning they'll help
> you
> >  filling out the forms. Helping us? Ripping us off, draining us, %
> #@*&!!!
> > Rose
> > www.galerieartsite.nl
> >
>
> LOL, Rose.
>
> Well, I can finally laugh because I actually sat down and took care
> of my taxes.  The main thing was:  I got some new accounting software
> free this year that came with an accounting class I had to take for
> work.  So, the main thing was entering all my business stuff into the
> accounting software.  Well, I did it!  Hurrrah!  Then all I had to do
> was print out the reports and send them with my personal financials
> to my tax accountant.  I can rest now.
>
> This year I still didn't make a profit writing, but I actually did
> make some money for the first time in several years.  Hurrah!
>
> Maybe next year I will break even.
>
> One can hope.
>
> Cheers!
> Gus

--- In the-artists-life@yahoogroups.com, rose_nl_99 <no_reply@y...>
wrote:

> Did you know in The Netherlands the IRS uses a slogan: 'We can't
make
> it more fun, but we can make it more simple'? Meaning they'll help
you
>  filling out the forms. Helping us? Ripping us off, draining us, %
#@*&!!!
> Rose
> www.galerieartsite.nl
>

LOL, Rose.

Well, I can finally laugh because I actually sat down and took care
of my taxes.  The main thing was:  I got some new accounting software
free this year that came with an accounting class I had to take for
work.  So, the main thing was entering all my business stuff into the
accounting software.  Well, I did it!  Hurrrah!  Then all I had to do
was print out the reports and send them with my personal financials
to my tax accountant.  I can rest now.

This year I still didn't make a profit writing, but I actually did
make some money for the first time in several years.  Hurrah!

Maybe next year I will break even.

One can hope.

Cheers!
Gus

Believe it or not, this morning I was up too early for a Sunday: I
woke up when it was still dark and thought about my TAXES.
I couldnt sleep anymore, knowing I will be late again etc.
Get some fines again.
I never consider making my painting a hobby instead of a business. But
others do LOL. I get a lot of unwanted advise about that!
Instead of good advise about taxforms...
I'm still painting, I'm happy with that and I promise, this year I
will not make such a mess of my financial administration...
Did you know in The Netherlands the IRS uses a slogan: 'We can't make
it more fun, but we can make it more simple'? Meaning they'll help you
  filling out the forms. Helping us? Ripping us off, draining us, %#@*&!!!
Rose
www.galerieartsite.nl


--- In the-artists-life@yahoogroups.com, gusbenjava <no_reply@y...> wrote:
>
> I love simplicity.
>
> I love the ideal of simplicity anyway.
>
> As it turns out I'm a complicated person, with a complicated life
> full of complications.  Complicating, isn't it?
>
> This time of year (the end of the year, the beginning of the year) is
> a time that is both complicated and frustrating for me.  It is also a
> time full of hope and joy.
>
> What's so complicating?
>
> Too many things to do.  To many divergent goals, plans, ideas,
> dreams.  And then along comes TAXES.  It's taxes that makes life
> complicating.
>
> I consider myself a business (the author "me" that is) but I don't
> make any money.  I write beautiful, melancholy, destructive, mind
> boggling things.  I write them because I am compelled to write them.
>
> I love writing, don't get me wrong.  Definitely don't get me wrong
> about that.  But in order to put some "order" into the chaos of my
> writing, I've made it into a business.  I really don't care about the
> tax benefits to losing money every year.  I don't want to lose money
> every year. I want to make money!  This year I decided to spend
> pathetically little on my "business".  I actually made a little bit
> of money, sold one or two books... but generally speaking, I still
> spend far more than I make, and so I take a business loss every year
> because of it.
>
> Now the IRS doesn't like you taking a business loss every year.
> Okay, so why doesn't some !#@$#!$ at the IRS buy a bunch of my books
> and it won't be an issue.
>
> So, every year I think about: "should I turn this into a hobby
> instead of a business?"  But I somehow feel that turning it into a
> hobby is accepting defeat.  Like I am somehow admitting to myself I'm
> not really a great writer after all, I'm just some damn two-bit
> nobody who can't even entertain the reader for more than a couple
> minutes.
>
> Now, mind you, I'm not out to make money.  I just out to tell a great
> story.  That's really all I care about.
>
> Now I have my interests and I have my lack of interests.  There are
> loads of "experts" who will tell you all the formulas you can use to
> write a great book.  Well, I don't want to follow anybody's damn
> formulas.  I have my own story to tell in my own way.  I refuse to
> compromise and do things according to a formula.  And thus NYC (The
> mother of all writing cash flows) refuses to publish the likes of
> me.  They only want to publish folks who will tell a story THEIR
> WAY.  Well, I won't do it.
>
> And so I sit here, every year at tax time, contemplating the misery
> that's all a part of not having any financial success at writing.
>
> Cheers!
> Gus

I love simplicity.

I love the ideal of simplicity anyway.

As it turns out I'm a complicated person, with a complicated life
full of complications.  Complicating, isn't it?

This time of year (the end of the year, the beginning of the year) is
a time that is both complicated and frustrating for me.  It is also a
time full of hope and joy.

What's so complicating?

Too many things to do.  To many divergent goals, plans, ideas,
dreams.  And then along comes TAXES.  It's taxes that makes life
complicating.

I consider myself a business (the author "me" that is) but I don't
make any money.  I write beautiful, melancholy, destructive, mind
boggling things.  I write them because I am compelled to write them.

I love writing, don't get me wrong.  Definitely don't get me wrong
about that.  But in order to put some "order" into the chaos of my
writing, I've made it into a business.  I really don't care about the
tax benefits to losing money every year.  I don't want to lose money
every year. I want to make money!  This year I decided to spend
pathetically little on my "business".  I actually made a little bit
of money, sold one or two books... but generally speaking, I still
spend far more than I make, and so I take a business loss every year
because of it.

Now the IRS doesn't like you taking a business loss every year.
Okay, so why doesn't some !#@$#!$ at the IRS buy a bunch of my books
and it won't be an issue.

So, every year I think about: "should I turn this into a hobby
instead of a business?"  But I somehow feel that turning it into a
hobby is accepting defeat.  Like I am somehow admitting to myself I'm
not really a great writer after all, I'm just some damn two-bit
nobody who can't even entertain the reader for more than a couple
minutes.

Now, mind you, I'm not out to make money.  I just out to tell a great
story.  That's really all I care about.

Now I have my interests and I have my lack of interests.  There are
loads of "experts" who will tell you all the formulas you can use to
write a great book.  Well, I don't want to follow anybody's damn
formulas.  I have my own story to tell in my own way.  I refuse to
compromise and do things according to a formula.  And thus NYC (The
mother of all writing cash flows) refuses to publish the likes of
me.  They only want to publish folks who will tell a story THEIR
WAY.  Well, I won't do it.

And so I sit here, every year at tax time, contemplating the misery
that's all a part of not having any financial success at writing.

Cheers!
Gus

Happy 2005!
You are all invited to join the 2005 ArtExchange!
Below this English text there's a Dutch version.
Send me an e-mail with any questions/remarks rose_nl_99@...

2005 ArtExchange
- Trade 3 small paintings with other artists from all over the world
- Size paintings: 8"x10" = 20x25 cm, paint on canvas (not paper)
- Trade by regular mail (not e-mail)
- Send out 3, receive 3 paintings from 3 different artists
- Build your own small international artcollection!
- Just for fun (no money involved, no sales, no advertisements)
- Join now! (2005 ArtExchange will take place in May 2005)

WHATS NEW?
This year you'll have to send me photos of the paintings you made so I
can check if everybody is really participating like they promised
before everybody starts sending out their paintings. This to avoid
people sending out paintings and not getting anything in return.

Photos 2002, 2003, 2004 Exchange: photos.yahoo.com/pi_artexchange
(Click on "Show All")

Painters International ArtExchange was founded in 1999 in The
Netherlands, Europe. The sole purpose of this project is for artists
to trade art with other artists from other countries, so they can have
an international art collection of their own.
How to join the Painters International ArtExchange:
Send us an e-mail including your (home)address, the URL to your
website (if you've got one), maybe an example of your work.
You will receive a confirmation of your participation.
In time you will receive 3 addresses of other artists.
You're supposed to send out your paintings on 1 May 2005. So before 1
May you have to send me the photos of the finished paintings, or if
there are any delays you have to tell me before that date please.

Do you want to join the 2005 Art Exchange?
- Note that participating in this exchange is at your own risk. No
guarantees.
- Note that this exchange is an adventure: the surprise element of
what you'll get is an important part of this project, so open your
mind to all styles of art!
- Note that once you join the exchange it's important to keep in touch
with the moderators for information. Check the website, read the
e-mails containing information, send the moderators a note when you
are experiencing any delays or problems.
- There's no money involved in this project but please realise you'll
have to pay some postal costs to send the paintings out. They fit a
regular padded envelope so you can send them as a letter.

* Ruil 3 schilderijtjes met kunstenaars over de hele wereld – formaat
schilderijen: 20x25 cm – materiaal: verf op doek (niet op papier) –
manier van ruilen: per luchtpost (niet per e-mail) – je stuurt 3
schilderijtjes weg en ontvangt er 3 van verschillende kunstenaars –
dit project is bedoeld voor het ruilen van schilderijtjes, er komt
geen geld aan te pas, je adres wordt niet gebruikt voor andere
doeleinden zoals reclame – de ArtExchange 2005 zal plaatsvinden in mei
2005.
* Painters International begon in 1999 in Nederland. Het doel van dit
project is het ruilen van schilderijtjes door kunstenaars onderling
uit verschillende landen, zodat men een kleine internationale
kunstcollectie op kan bouwen.

* Inschrijving: stuur een mailtje met je adres, en eventueel je
websiteadres, je ontvangt een bevestiging van deelname, op den duur
ontvang je 3 adressen van verschillende kunstenaars. Verstuur de
schilderijtjes op 1 mei 2005.

* Deelname is op eigen risico, geen garanties.
Het verrassingselement van wat je zult krijgen is een belangrijk
onderdeel van dit project. Wanneer je hebt toegezegd deel te nemen aan
de Art Exchange is het belangrijk alle informatie te lezen die je
krijgt, en is het belangrijk de organisatie op de hoogte te stellen
van vertragingen en problemen die je zelf ondervindt.
Er zijn geen kosten verbonden aan dit project maar realiseer je dat er
wel verzendkosten zijn. Het formaat van het schilderijtjes is
aangepast aan een A4 luchtkussen envelop dus je kan de doekjes
voordelig versturen.

Dear Gus,
I hope you approve of me posting a message here about an artproject
I'm working on.
Thanks,
Rose

Dear members, fellow artists and artlovers,
I'm planning an artproject involving the oil spill near Alaska.
I want to make people aware of the risks of the oiltransports that
still take place, and recently caused another disaster near Alaska.
Everywhere in the world oiltankers brake down and cause environmental
disasters, year after year (like the Tricolor in 2002) and again, this
month, a Malasian tanker broke down near the coast of the island of
Unalaska.
Sealions, seabirds and other flora and fauna are threatened.
I want to paint the beauty of nature in Alaska to show the world what
we need to preserve. I want to sell the paintings and give most part
of the upbring to Greenpeace. I do have a gallery in The Netherlands
that will show my work.
I want to travel to Alaska around 15 January 2005 (for about a week)
so I'm in a hurry. Who can help me?
I need fundings for the planeticket and artsupplies, and also I need
people in Alaska to help me to get around to take photos, make
sketches and look around. I need a place to stay for about a week.
Can you help me to raise funds, get a ticket or do you live in Alaska,
send me an email at dissenart@...
thank you all so much
Rose Dissen
Florijn 41
1102BA Amsterdam
The Netherlands
Europe
www.artgally.com/rdissen

Hi Everyone, and a hearty welcome to the new members.

So what is the artist life all about to you?

Regards,
Gus

Hi Everyone,

Well, I just checking in with you all to tell you about my latest
project.

I've had a story in mind for years, a ghost story.

Well now I'm fleshing it out.

What sort of ghost story will this be?

It won't be a typical horror-type ghost story.  Its a tale of outlaws
and bandits, good folk homesteading, and pioneers starting cities,
digging for gold.  So, naturally, I started thinking about the
Western genre.  But, the more I think about my story, the more
research I do on the period, the more I realize that my story is not
a typical western either.

Recently at the Pacific Northwest Writer's Conference, an editor
suggested to me (upon hearing my little "elevator blurb") that
perhaps my story was a mystery.

I like that.  In some manner I think all of my stories are mysteries.

But I think I'm going to try to go beyond that with this one.  I
think I'm going to make this one a thriller.

The fact of the matter is that in 1852 a quantity of gold was stolen
in a single stage-coach robbery in Southern Oregon, that today this
gold would be worth 9 million dollars.  That's one heck of a lot of
gold, and they had to build a special stage coach strong enough to
carry it.

Well, I'm going to tell you what happened to that gold, and the one
creature that knows:  The Ghost of J.D. Blackburn.

But it is a story of intrigue that goes beyond the run-of-the-mill
inner workings of a Pioneer town, all the way to the United States
Army and one of the worlds largest non-Christian religions.  I think
I am about to write my very first thriller.

Cheers!
Gus

any Artists or artlovers from Stockholm/ Sweden in here?
Look at my show in Asbro, Sweden http://photos.yahoo.com/rose_nl_99
www.perolofgarden.se
Rose

Hi Everyone,

My interview with the Edmond's Community College Student TV show has
aired.  So far I've run into one stranger who saw me on the show.
So, I guess I'm a celebrity now.

Cheers!
Gus