Welcome to the E-Mail Newspaper
featuring 'Thought & Humor'
      by Howdy


*CLICK ON THE ATTACHMENT FOR THE
AWARD WINNING "COLOR VERSION"
OR CHECK BELOW (ON SOME COMPUTERS)
Yahoo & Hotmail ISP's see below for
color cartoons:O)



===============



UNC Grad to Ticket Agent:  I want to buy a bus
ticket for Norwald.

Ticket Agent, Searching Book:  Norwald?  Let me
find that.  Hmm... never heard of it.  Let me see...
Norwald.  I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't
find it on the map.  Just where is Norwald, anyway?

UNC:  Over there.  He's my brother-in-law.


===============


      Riddles:



1) You must keep this thing, its loss will affect your brothers.
For once yours is lost, it will soon be lost by others.

2)  Len always has it before. Paul has it behind. Bryan has never
had it at all. Girls can have it only once. Boys don't need it.
Mrs. Mulligan, the widow, has it twice in succession. Dr. Lowell
of Harvard has it twice as bad at the end as at the beginning.
Do you know what it is?


3)  An iron horse with a flaxen tail.
The faster the horse runs,
the shorter his tail becomes.
What is it?



                                         (Answers are located below)
                                                   If you can't find the answers
below:
                                       http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/

===============




In order to keep the size of each award winning
edition of 'Thought & Humor' smaller and so the
"Text-Only" folks can enjoy the cartoons also -
go here to see the cartoons: http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/





  ===============



When picking out a pet, keep in mind that to a dog,
you're family; to a cat, you're staff.



===============




Read what you have time for below
& save the residuum for a stormy/
blustery/dilatory interval while
the charming/exquisite/vernal/
aestival season is bursting out all
over. Our goal is to promote a non-
threatening and productive office
& university environment and to
establish language that is gender-
neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-
neutral while celebrating our spirit
of diversity.


===============





Howdy,

I use the "ctrl" key and the roller on the mouse and it works
fine to enlarge.  Couldn't read half of the 'T&H' without it.
Especially the small script print.

Shirl






===============





***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***
This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your divertissement!?! "UNSUBSCRIBE" communiqué
located below.    Even French students can do it...





===============





"Can anyone stop the attack of the mutant artificial trees?" Probably
not, but try playing this campy game anyway!

It's from the National Christmas Tree Association. The object is to
chuck snowballs at fake trees as they pop out of cartons. Pelt your way
through rounds to earn bragging rights on the worldwide scoreboard.
Watch the Spirit Meter--hit an elf and your level of Christmas spirit
will take a hit, too.

This game is simple enough for kids, yet still a blast for adults.
    http://downloads.kewlbox.com/games_online/realtrees.htm

{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's
address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should
be}




===============






Q: What job function does a UNC grad have
     in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.






===============




Pres. Quiz


The first president of the United States, George Washington,
was the epitome of humility and sincerity. The following words,
spoken from the heart, come from his inaugural address.
How many do you know?


1. vicissitudes (n.) - A: spiteful actions. B: ups and downs.
C: positive feelings. D: cowardly maneuvers.

2. aver (v.) - A: to declare. B: avoid or prevent. C: show a
dislike. D: openly oppose.

3. supplication (n.) - A: excessive amount. B: important
addition. C: earnest request. D: forced ending.

4. immutable (adj.) - A: weakened. B: biased. C: unchange-
able. D: silent.

5. predilection (n.) - A: introduction. B: prophecy. C: har-
mony. D: preference.

6. transcendent (adj.) - A: always changing. B: beyond ordi-
nary limits. C: lost or displaced. D: written out.

7. discernment (n.) - A: an act of defeat. B: good judgment
or understanding. C: distributed funds. D: debilitating
anxiety.

8. presage (v.) - A: to separate. B: get older. C: make a
prediction. D: intentionally deceive.

9. rectitude (n.) - A: mass destruction. B: anger. C: geo-
graphical measurement. D: moral virtue.

10. magnanimous (adj.) - A: appealing. B: high-minded.
C: secretive. D: in agreement.

11. felicity (n.) - the state of A: feeling happy. B: being
lucky. C: helping others. D: earning wealth.

12. propitious (adj.) - A: foretelling. B: overly sarcastic.
C: confident. D: favorable.

13. despondence (n.) - A: letter writing. B: depression.
C: craving. D: poverty.

14. palliate (v.) - A: to relieve. B: carefully examine.
C: respect or revere. D: apologize.

15. pecuniary (adj.) - A: referring to money. B: acting
strangely. C: educated or refined. D: being a talented cook.

(See below for answers)





===============





Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online,
'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way
through the Internet’s highways and byways to your e-mail
address. We welcome all our great readers to another unique
blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your
weekly entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic
but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious
and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....




===============




A UNC* student was in court charged
with parking in a restricted area. The
judge asked him if he had anything to
say in his defense.

"They shouldn't put up such misleading
notices," said the guy. "The sign said
'FINE FOR PARKING HERE'."

________
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.

===============





I almost had a psychic girlfriend
but she left me before we met.






===============





99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.




===============


   ***TEST YOUR WORD KNOWLEDGE? ***

Match the words in the left-hand column with the correct
definition in the right-hand column. The answer key is
listed at the bottom of this newsletter.


Match the words in the left-hand column with the correct
definition in the right-hand column. The answer key is
listed at the bottom of this newsletter.

1. propitiate       A. A rascal
2. lorgnette        B. A rumor
3. fress              C. A pair of eyeglasses or opera glasses on a handle
4. baksheesh     D. A payment, such as a tip or bribe
5. scalawag       E. A decree
6. irade             F. To render favorably inclined
7. intenerate     G. An emerald-green mineral
8. furphy           H. To eat without moderation
9. uvarovite       I. Having a woolly surface
10. lanate          J. To make tender or to soften


                            (answers below)


===============


Check out YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!


===============






After many years of faithful duty with the US Forest Service,
their beloved fire prevention mascot was unceremoniously
"retired." Still in the prime of his life and bearing one of the
world's most recognizable faces, he quickly found work as a
spokesman for the world's leading exporter of diamonds.

He's now working as "Smokey DeBeers."





===============


   Why Am I Here:    http://www.needhim.org/
===============





HOW TO START YOUR DAY
WITH POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your PC.
2. Name it "Housework."
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you
     want to delete Housework permanently?"
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse
     button firmly....
7. Feel better?
            (Tkx: Shirl)








===============



'Thought & Humor' has been  read in all 50 States,
70 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!



===============



On the other hand, you have different fingers.


===============



If you would like to write Howdy (he reads all of them),
send an amicable, meticulous, penurious or factious e-mail to:



  Howdy's address:       your-bestfriend4u@...



Please tell us your general location (State, School, Country).
All letters sent to Howdy might be printed unless you
request otherwise. Letters marked "anonymous" may be
printed but without the name. Your e-mail address will not
be shown. Tell us what's happening in your locale!!!





Dear Howdy,

What you provide each week most do not understand.  The joy to be able
to read an email that does not need work, that are not work related and
provide an uplift for all that read are what everyone need to keep them
ready to do the work that they are needed to to.

Thank you for helping me to laf at myself, at others and with others due
to seeing into all that we read as something that may have happened to
them, or ourselves once back in the webs of our inner brain.

Have a great day.
Richard Miller
University of Alaska

+++

Howdy,

Hello from Moore County NC.  My uncle in Florida forwarded
***Thought and Humor*** to me.

How can I get on your mailing list?

Regards,
Delaney

+++

Dear Howdy,

I work in the Toy Department at a Walmart, and one day I was
asked to do a price check. The cashier explained to me that
a customer wanted to buy some puzzles, priced at 4 for $5.00,
but they were ringing up at $1.25 a piece. Apparently neither
the customer nor the cashier ever made it through sixth grade
math.

Julia G. (Tx)

+++

Dear Howdy,

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes
several days attack me at once.

Jennifer

+++

Hi Howdy,

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole
package of  Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Some-
times she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

Steven Wright


+++

Dear Howdy,

Your blog site is impossible. The page freezes and the scroll bars
won't move so you cannot really enter or exit. Is there some hidden
meaning in this? Or, is this my computer or how you made it?
Why am I reading a conservative site from a man who lives in North
Carolina, or Virginia, is 56, or 22, or 61? I'm nuts!

L.P.

+

Dear L.P.,

Thanks - Got the tech folks working on it:O)

Howdy

P.S. Try this FREE Browser:    http://www.mozilla.org/download.html

+++

Dear Howdy,

this is an interesting way to do this!  I have NEVER been
a "blogger" --  probably cuz I don't have the time!  I am
connected to the UNC system (T1, I think), and I had a
small amount of trouble getting the page loaded.  It took
longer and tied up my whole computer.  (My mouse froze
up.)  I like the ways each section is divided and available
for comment.  Does that make it easier for you to read the
responses?  The format is neat and tidy, too.  Would people
with "text-only" requests have trouble with this?  I will try
the blog at home in the next few days to see how this works
with my dial-up connection there.  Is that helpful?

sarah

+++

Dear Howdy,

I looked at your blog site and I think it's a good idea.  I've had to use
the text-only version of your newsletter because the graphic version was
too big for my email system.  This will eliminate that problem and I'll be
able to see the pictures.  However, I have some comments:

Stand up, raise your right hand, and repeat after me:  "I will never use
the color pink for any text ever again".  It's completely impossible to
read.  Further, you need to take a better look at combinations of colors
you use.  White text on a blue background is hard to read.

Watch your font sizes.  Some of them are so small that they can't be read.
My eyes have been working for over sixty years so they're getting a little
tired.  Nothing should be smaller than 10-point.  Also watch the big fonts.
Some of those were so large that they overlapped adjacent letters making
the whole thing impossible to read.  You also used some fonts that are very
hard to read.  Just because it exists doesn't mean you should use it.  Keep
it simple.

Keep up the good work.  I look forward to the blog version.

Bob W.
Cary, NC;
NCSU fan






Please note that our policy allows for us to receive threats
on alternate Tuesdays when the Moon is waning only...


===============



I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area.
So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman
there that my bags never showed up.

She smiled and told me not to worry as they were trained
professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked
me, "has your plane arrived yet?"





===============






   At the window of my house
   I looked through my lattice.
   I saw among the inexperienced,
   I noticed among the youths,
   a young man lacking sense.

   Crossing the street near her corner,
   he strolled down the road to her house
   at twilight, in the evening,
   in the dark of the night.
   A woman came to meet him,
   dressed like a prostitute,
   having a hidden agenda.

  She is loud and defiant;
   her feet do not stay at home.
   Now in the street, now in the squares,
   she lurks at every corner.
  She grabs him and kisses him;
   she brazenly says to him,

  "I've made fellowship offerings;
   today I've fulfilled my vows.
   So I came out to meet you,
   to search for you, and I've found you.
   I've spread coverings on my bed -
   richly colored linen from Egypt.
   I've perfumed my bed
   with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
  Come, let's drink deeply of lovemaking until morning.
   Let's feast on each other's love!
   My husband isn't home;
   he went on a long journey.
   He took a bag of money with him
   and will come home at the time of the full moon."

   She seduces him with her persistent pleading;
   she lures with her flattering talk.
   He follows her impulsively
   like an ox going to the slaughter,
   like a deer bounding toward a trap
   until an arrow pierces its liver,
   like a bird darting into a snare -
   he doesn't know it will cost him his life.
                  - - Prov. 7





===============







There's not much amusing about an automobile accident, but my friend
Jean's accident - it had a little smile at the end of it at least. She got hit
in
the right rear door of her car, and her daughter's head actually broke the
glass in the passenger side window. Jean's glasses went flying, and thank
the Lord there was no serious injury. The police looked at the car, and they
said, "Well, it's OK to drive." They knew that. She knew that, but
apparently the computerized monitor in the dashboard didn't know that
because all the way home this computer voice kept saying, "Right door is
open. Fuel level is low." Actually, the right door was damaged, but no, it
wasn't open. And the voice insisted, "Fuel level is low." She had just
filled the car with gas! The gauge was on "F" for "Full." Poor Jean! She
took a hit and then she started getting all kinds of wrong messages.

My friend's experience actually models some of our own - when we take a
hit in our life. Maybe your life has been abruptly interrupted by a tragedy, a
loss, a sudden disappointment, maybe a betrayal or an illness. In some way,
one of life's "heavies" has ploughed into you, and that's when you start to
hear all these wrong messages in your heart.

Our word for today from the Word of God is Psalm 119:25. David said, "I am
laid low in the dust, preserve my life according to your Word." Verse 28,
"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your Word." Verse
49 says, "Remember your Word to your servant for you have given me hope."
Verse 50, "My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my
life." See, David is saying basically, "When my heart is hurting, my spirit
is doubting, my feelings are crashing, I hold onto your Word, Lord - like a
drowning person clings desperately to a life preserver." And when you've
been hit, you start hearing a lot of wrong messages in your soul. Maybe
you're hearing them right now. Maybe you're believing them: "God doesn't
care." "Look at what's happened." "You don't have any reason to go on!"
"Well, you can't live without what you lost, man." "Hey, you might as well
just quit trying, huh?" Or, "Get even!" "Be bitter." Or, "God can't use you
any more, not after this!" Lies - those are just lies! But your feelings have
lied to you before haven't they? Thousands of times!

Take David's advice. As soon as you get hit, dive into the Bible. You may
not feel like it, but that's when you need to do it the most! Ask God to hug
you with His Word, to hold you, to support you, to "give you hope," like the
verse said. Memorize the verses that give you hope. Quote them when the
feelings come and answer the lie with God's truth. Remember, "Your promise,
Lord, preserves my life." While that voice was saying to my friend Jean,
"fuel level low" the gauge was telling the truth.

God's words recorded in your Bible are the gauge that will expose the lies
that your confused emotions are trying to tell you. Don't believe the lies.
Let God's voice, through His wonderful Word, override all those obnoxious
messages.                             Ron Hutchcraft


Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@...
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.

Listen with RealAudio!
      http://xrl.us/d9sj

To subscribe to "A Word With You," send a blank email to:
awordwithyou-subscribe@...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

To find out how you can begin a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ, please call:

1-888-NEED HIM.






===============



FYI: Here's the list of organizations
that help you send letters and packages
to US troops in Iraq:
    http://www.mikeysfunnies.com/archive/20041202/



===============



I intend to live forever - so far, so good.



===============





                          Join the jollity by sending an e-mail to:
                                                   your-bestfriend4u@...
                                             (Place "SUBSCRIBE" in the subject).
                        (Open To ALL - Even Your Roommate/mom/friend/professor)

                    You may subscribe ANY friend/family you wish to
beguile/regale.
                 They will be sent a confirmation warning them that smiles are in
their future.
                                            (You may remain anonymous if you
wish.)




===============




Study Shows Traumatic Reactions to
Abortion More Common for Women

          http://www.lifenews.com/nat999.html


{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's
address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should
be}



===============

Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture

===============







Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures
of the office and went skiing.  Alas, no sooner did he reach
the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling. Moments
later a sheet of snow came crashing toward him.

Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave
just before the avalanche hit.  Just as fortunately, he
had matches with him and was able to light a fire using
brush he found on the ground.

Hours later, when everyone but Mr. Jacobson had returned,
a rescue team was sent to search for him.  After several hours
they saw smoke curling from a nearby cave and went to investigate.

Poking his head into the entrance, one of the rescuers yelled,

    "Mr. Jacobson, are you there?  It's the Red Cross."

    Bristling, and still work-harried, the executive calls back,

       "I already gave at the office!"







===============



Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.



===============






  It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising
in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed
in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time. A small man
pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid
loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched
square in the jaw, & knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of
the line again.

      As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of
the line, "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I'm not opening
the store!"






===============




                              TRIVIA:

   The male name Andrew is from the Greek word for "manly."

                              ***

   Months that begin with a Sunday will always have a
   "Friday the 13th."

                              ***

   Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in
   the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by
   archaeologists and found edible.

                              ???

                           Mustard

   Although Asia and the Mediterranean are the original regions
   where mustard grew, most of the world's mustard today is
   cultivated in Canada and the United States

                              ***

                          Baseball

   The average major league baseball lasts 7 pitches.

                              ***

                          Socrates

   Socrates, one of the most famous Greek philosophers, never
   wrote down a single word of his teachings. The only knowledge
   we have of his thinking today comes from the notes taken by
   his great student, Plato.






===============






CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
OHNOSECOND: That miniscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake.






===============





In 1796 the US Supreme Court issued this ruling, "By our form
of government, the Christian religion is the established religion,
and all sects and denominations of Christians are placed on
equal footing."  Some 57 years later, after Congress was
petitioned to separate Christian principles from government,
in 1853 the House Judiciary Committee issued their formal
report, including these words: "In this age there is no substitute
for Christianity. This was the religion of the founders of the republic,
and they expected it to be the religion of their dependents. The
great vital, conservative elements in our system is the belief of
our people in the pure doctrines and divine truths of the gospel
of Jesus Christ."  - - - Dr. Gerald Beavan




===============




GOOD LOSERS
In a culture obsessed with success and “winners,” we all
need reminders of what really matters.

    http://www.boundless.org/regulars/kaufman/a0000975.html




===============




Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.






===============



Let's Bring Em Home For CHRISTmas
                          http://www.lbeh.org/



===============



   Maytag is my middle name; I'm an agitator.




===============


   Live CHRISTmas Webcams:
                 http://home.hetnet.nl/~zwam0009/kerstmis5-en.htm



===============



   I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.





===============


      The Online Books Page
            http://digital.library.upenn.edu/books/



===============






  Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
  Big Problems???
  Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
  Want to get REAL help???
    (FREE - English/Spanish)

        1-800-633-3446

               http://www.needhim.org

{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's
address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should
be}




===============



  "Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes."


===============




I was takin a trip on a plane the other day
just wishing that I could get out.
When the man next to me saw the book in my hand
and asked me what it was about.
So I settled back in my seat-
"A best seller," I said.
"A history, a mystery in one."
And then I opened up the book and began to read
from Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

Chorus:
He was born of a virgin one holy night
in the little town of Bethlehem.
Angels gathered round him underneath the stars
singing praises to the great I Am.
He walked on the water, healed the lame and made the blind to see again.
And for the first time here on earth we learned that God could be a friend.
And though he never ever did a single thing wrong
the angry crowd chose him. And then he walked down the road
and died on the cross and that was the end of the beginning.

"Thats not a new book thats a bible," he said, "and I've heard it all before.
I've tried religion- its shame and guilt and I dont need it anymore.
It's superstition, made up tales and just to help the weak to survive."
"Let me read it again," I said, "listen closely, cuz this is gonna change
your life.

(Chorus)

"The end of the beginning," he said with a smile.
"What more could there be? He's dead.
You said they hung him, put nails in His hands
and a crown of thorns on His head."
I said, "I'll read it again but this time there's more,
and I believe that this is true.
His death wasn't the end, the beginning of life
that's completed in you.
Don't you see he did all this for you!"

(Chorus)
He was born of a virgin one holy night
in the little town of Bethlehem
All the angles singing praises to the great I AM
He walked on the water, healed the lame,
and made the blind to see(eee)
(and for the first time here on earth)
Did you know that God could be a friend.
Tho He never ever did a single thing wrong,
He was the one the crowd chose.
then he walked and he died but
three days later (3x) HE ROSE!!!!!!!!

Three days later he rose!
You see he came, he lived, and he died.
But that was the end of the beginning.

David Phelps




===============






                OBSCURE AND UNUSUAL WORDS
                   *************************

1)  maunder   mawn der   (intransitive verb)
     : to talk or say something in a vague, rambling, or
     incoherent way

     Early 17th century. Origin uncertain; perhaps formed
     from earlier maund "to beg" in the literal sense of "to
     keep on begging," or perhaps an imitation of the sound
     of muttering.

     The man had consumed so much liquor that he began to
     maunder about politics but nobody could understand a
     word he was saying.

2)  boondoggle   boon dawggl  (noun)
     : an activity or project that is trivial and wasteful of
     time or money

     Mid 20th century. Coined by the U.S. scoutmaster R.H.
     Link for a braided leather cord made by Scouts.

     The basketball team, after winning almost every game of
     the season, felt that the practice was a boondoggle
     since they were sure to win the championship game.







===============






"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be
watching television by candlelight."



===============


Check out YOUR NEW Blog:
        http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!


===============






“You have to earn it,” a gentle, elderly man told my husband and me
recently.  His eyes were smiling even as he told stories obviously
weighing on his heart, as if the opportunity to speak his mistakes aloud
to a young couple made looking back somehow worth the ache of remem-
bering. In broken English he told of his days after the war; how, filled with
questions, he turned to things now regrettable, hurting people he loved
with his rebellion.  My heart leapt as he seemed to get to the part that
ordained his smiling eyes.  “I was running from everything, even myself.
But God was chasing me,” he said, sounding yet in awe at the thought of
it.  “There are two roads in life,” he explained quickly, as if he felt he
was about to lose our attention, not knowing whether we would want to
hear it or not.  “One way moves toward Him, the other away from Him.
I realized that I wanted to go his way, towards Him, towards Christ,”
he said, pointing upwards.  “But you have to earn it.”

The hope that seemed to grab hold of me as he spoke, as we were being
evangelized by our taxi driver, was abruptly stifled.  As he told his
story I wanted to shout, “God chased me too!”  I wanted to tell him I was
humbled by his unapologetic faith and his resolve to share it.  Such were
the things I wanted to say when the chance to speak was mine.  But at
these words I wanted to cry: You have to earn it.  The ride ended.  We
shook hands, exchanged blessings.  And he was gone before I could
swallow the lump in my throat.

How can you earn God’s love?

In that unexpected moment in transit, the love of God seemed to me
so vast, so wonderfully intrusive.  My heart stirred within me as Christ
connected three strangers together, two of us far from home.  The world
seemed gigantic, and yet three were joined together by a name that will
outlive us all, and Christ was there among us, three of his own.  I think
this is why, to my regret, I remained speechless in the wake of such a
statement:  The idea of earning this love seemed more impossible than
usual.  You have to earn it.

Yet, didn’t he merely speak aloud words many of us know not to utter,
though we still try to earn God’s favor, his forgiveness, his love anyway?
How often I have to take captive the thoughts that I am struggling to stay
in his good graces, mentally visualizing gold stars by my name, as if He
were a father on the brink of abandoning me lest one more sticker be lost.
When we struggle to earn our way into God’s presence—whether we are
admitting it aloud or not—it is usually not the case that we have
overestimated our ability to earn.  Perhaps we underestimate the love
we’re longing to keep.

“For God so loved the world that He sent his only begotten son that
whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life,”
wrote one who walked with God’s begotten.  Modern hymnist Stuart Townend
reminds us of this great mystery often memorized, but less easy to know.

How deep the Father’s love for us.
How vast beyond all measure,
That he should give His only Son,
To make a wretch His treasure.

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer.
But this I know with all my heart:
His wounds have paid my ransom.

We cannot earn our way into his presence.  “It is because of him that you
are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our
righteousness, holiness and redemption.  Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let
him who boasts boast in the Lord’” (1 Corinthians 1:30-31).  The debt,
which was ours, has been paid.  We are asked only to receive Him.
        - - Jill Carattini

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Send any comments for Howdy to:
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If published in 'T & H', millions
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===============



When I was crossing the border into Canada,
they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said,
"Well, what do you need?" -- Steven Wright
                           (Tks: Phil)


===============




I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."

That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

           -- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis





===============





Why The U.S.A. Is At War:

   http://attacked911.tripod.com/
   http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/memorial/lists/by-name/


{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's
address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should
be}





===============





For printer-friendly version of 'T&H', visit:
      http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Howdy_Text_Only/messages





===============




You may be interested in using this FREE web browser -
I've been using in for about 6 months & it's much faster
than "Internet Explorer" - Go here to try it:

                  http://www.mozilla.org/download.html




===============







A UNC sophomore clandestinely goes into the
doctor's office and says that her body hurts
wherever she touches it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor.  "Show me."

The student takes her finger and pushes her elbow
and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and
screams........pushes her ankle and screams.
Everywhere she touches makes her scream!

The doctor says, "You're a UNC student, aren't you?"

"Yes," said the student.

"I thought so," the doctor says.  "Your finger is broken!"







===============





AMERICA ARCHIVED
http://www.archives.gov/
This government site offers access to historic documents.
View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.





===============




Churches - Too Political?

Recently I got in a discussion with a man regarding the concept of the
separation of church and state. He said to me, “It’s in the Constitution.”
I said, “No, it not in there.” He said, “It’s in the Bill of Rights.” I said,
“No, that phrase doesn’t even appear there.” He said, “Well, it must be in
the Declaration of Independence.” I said, “No, it’s not there.” By this time
he was becoming increasingly agitated. He said, “I know that phrase has
to be in there somewhere.” I said, “No, it’s not.”

In fact, the closest phrasing comes from the writing of Thomas Jefferson in
1802 to the Danbury Baptist Association. Nowhere is the concept or phrasing
of separation of Church and State in its present definition found anywhere
in our Constitution or Bill of Rights, except the fact that Congress shall
not establish a religion or prohibit the free exercise thereof.

Straightforwardly, that means the government cannot establish or financially
underwrite any particular religion or denomination. That certainly does not
mean, by any stretch of the imagination, that the government should not be
able to post the Ten Commandments or a Christmas Nativity scene. That is
certainly not establishing religion.

But there’s a second point. I call it a cultural myth. It has to do with the
fact that churches cannot endorse a candidate. Why? What’s that based on?
Is that good or bad? Some think it’s good because churches should be,
they say, religious and not political. But what if a bona fide spiritual or
religious or biblical issue is at stake in the election regarding a candidate
or a proposition? That doesn’t become political at that point. It’s righteous-
ness versus unrighteousness issue. And that’s biblical.

Where did we get the idea that pastors or churches should not speak out on
candidates or endorse candidates? From our nation’s founding in 1776 to
1954, pastors and churches did endorse candidates. Who stopped it and how?
That changed when Lyndon Johnson ran for the U.S. Senate. He was opposed
by a non-profit organization (not even a church), but after he won the election
he proposed legislation to amend the IRS Code to prohibit non-profit
organizations, including churches, from endorsing or opposing political
candidates. The Code was amended in 1954 without any debate regarding the
impact of the bill.

And how has that affected us today? What is the impact on churches? It has
created a muzzling, sort of chilling, effect. And what about the impact on
our nation? For 178 years churches and pastors did speak out. For the last
50 years they have been muzzled.

Now let me ask you a practical question. Has our nation been more godly or
less godly, more righteous or less righteous during these last 50 years? Has
the sidelining or marginalizing of churches made our nation a better place
or a worse place? Well, I rest my case.      Jim Garlow   http://xrl.us/d4ni







===============





         Who is Jesus?
                    http://www.ccci.org/wij/


{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's
address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should
be}




===============





A California teacher who claims he was barred from using documents
in history lessons that refer to God, including the Declaration of
Independence, is suing his school for discrimination.

In the latest row about church and state separation, Steven Williams,
a fifth-grade teacher at Stevens Creek School near San Francisco, claims
that he was singled out for censorship by the head teacher, Patricia Vidmar,
because he is a Christian.

Mr Williams alleges that, since May, all his lesson planning has been vetted
by Miss Vidmar and any references to God or Christianity weeded out.

"It's a fact of American history that our founders were religious men and to
hide this fact from young fifth-graders in the name of political correctness
is outrageous and shameful," said his lawyer, Terry Thompson.

"Williams wants to teach his students the true history of our country. There
is nothing in the Establishment Clause (of the constitution) that prohibits
a teacher from showing students the Declaration of Independence."
                          - - The Berean Call





===============




'Twas the night Jesus came and all through the house,
not a person was praying, not one in the house...
The Bible was left on the shelf without care,
for no one thought Jesus would come there...
The children were dressing to crawl into bed,
not once ever kneeling or bowing their head...
And Mom in the rocking chair with babe on her lap,
was watching the Late Show as I took a nap...
When out of the east there rose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter...
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutters and lifted the sash...
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but Angels proclaiming that Jesus was here...
The light of His face made me cover my head,
it was Jesus returning just like He'd said...
And though I possess worldly wisdom and wealth,
I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself...
In the Book of Life which He held in His hand,
was written the name of every saved man...
He spoke not a word as he searched for my name,
when He said "it's not here," my head hung in shame...
The people whose names had been written with love,
He gathered to take to his Father above...
With those who were ready He rose without sound,
while all of the others were left standing around...
I fell to my knees but it was too late,
I'd waited too long and thus sealed my fate...
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight,
Oh, if only I'd known that this was the night...
In the words of this poem the meaning is clear
the coming of Jesus is now drawing near...
There's only one life and when comes the last call,
We'll find out that the Bible was true after all...
        (Tks: Jerry - CA)






===============




God designed humans to want to believe in something.
That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
in everything -- including Little Green Men.

              - - Chuck Colson



===============





Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':

Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors
that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far
as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are
concerned???

Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives
Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married
Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student
David - 50's - NJ - Businessman, Married
Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
Ellen - 20's - NJ - University Student
Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
Jerry - 80's - CA - Retired Theology Professor, Lobbyist, Author
Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married
John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student
Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher
Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher
Milton - 19 - GA - College Student
Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped
Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married
Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married
Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
Steve - 40's - TX - Married, Computer Hardware Design
Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country

Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet
and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation
for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.


===============



LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT SEX
No matter what Hollywood says, Kinsey's work,
and his legacy, have hurt us all.

    http://www.boundless.org/departments/atplay/a0000974.html





===============



Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and  start bragging about it.



===============


Bible - God's Word to you in different languages...

                        http://www.scriptures.com/

                  (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')




===============








Two recently married UNC grads were delighted when their
long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center
called and told them that there was a wonderful Russian baby
boy available. The couple accepted him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by
the UNC campus so they each could enroll in night courses.

After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired,
"What ever possessed you to study Russian?"

The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby.
In a year or so, when he begins to talk, we want to be able
to understand him."






===============





The Brawl at the Palace


By now, we have all seen the footage from the near-riot that broke out at a
recent game between the Detroit Pistons and the Indiana Pacers in the NBA.

There have been plenty of attempts to figure out what conclusions, if any, we
should draw from what happened. Some sportswriters, like Tony Kornheiser of the
WASHINGTON POST, insist that it was an isolated incident. Others, like Bryan
Burwell of the ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH, see what happened as a consequence
of cultural trends within the NBA, such as younger, less-mature players and the
NBA's uncritical embrace of hip-hop culture.

While I tend to agree with Burwell, I think that there are other, more
widespread and troubling, cultural trends that contributed to what happened on
November 19. In our ministry here at Prison Fellowship, we see the results every
day in the constant filling up of our prisons.

One trend is the coarseness and incivility that has permeated American culture.
Friends of mine tell me that they dread taking their kids to professional
sporting events. The combination of profanity, drunkenness, and boorish behavior
on the part of fans makes us all uncomfortable and, worse, sets a bad example
for any child.

Ten years ago unruly "fans" would have been asked to shut up or leave -- now
it's those who want to enjoy the game in peace who are faced with that choice.
And this problem isn't limited to professional sports. A reporter for USA TODAY
wrote about a fight that broke out at a co-ed slow-pitch softball game he
attended. It's as if the entire country has, as we say in Virginia, forgotten
its manners.

This coarseness and incivility is fueled by a belief that self-expression is
always good and inhibition of any kind is always bad. The past few decades
have seen the triumph of what author Rochelle Gurstein called "the party of
exposure." This "party" turned ideas such as manners, propriety, and decorum
into synonyms for repression. It convinced our culture that, as Robert Bork
ironically put it, "Let all be told, let all be shown, and we will be a society
of well-balanced individuals."

Of course, no such thing happened. A culture that has renounced inner restraints
only has the cudgel of law to keep people from acting on their own worst
impulses. If shame isn't enough to keep you from making a drunken spectacle
of yourself, then the sight of a "rent-a-cop" isn't going to stop you from
throwing
your beer on the court -- or charging into the stands swinging, only to go on
talk shows the next morning to promote your new CD.

What makes this even worse is that athletes are, in many instances, the closest
things kids have to heroes. The NBA and its advertisers have used this
admiration to make our kids the biggest market for NBA-licensed apparel and
expensive shoes and soft drinks. Whether they want to admit it or not, these
guys are role models, and they failed miserably that night.

While thankfully events like the "brawl at the Palace" are the exception to the
rule, the beliefs that helped make it possible are not. We see the results every
day in prisons all across America. And while expulsions, suspensions, and even
criminal prosecutions are in order, these won't change what most needs changing:
a culture that has forgotten its manners. Only a good dose of repentance before
a holy God is the necessary medicine for this cultural sickness.  
http://xrl.us/d9zi


"BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a daily commentary
on news and trends from a Christian perspective.
Heard on more than 1000 radio outlets nationwide,
BreakPoint transcripts are also available on the Internet.

BreakPoint is a production of The Wilberforce Forum,
a division of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

Chairman: Charles W. Colson
Dean: Nigel M. de S. Cameron, Ph.D.
Managing Editor: Jim Tonkowich, D.Min.
Senior Writer: Anne Morse
Associate Editor: Roberto Rivera
Associate Producer: Teresa Woodward
Wilberforce New Media Editor: Gina Dalfonzo
List Maintainer: Larry Wilson


As you read the Scriptures with your family, I hope
you'll have a new appreciation for who the "Word made
flesh" really is: He's the Creator who existed before time.
He's the Logos Who made heaven and earth, and Who
steers the stars in their courses. He is the Truth that is
ultimate reality. He is the 'Babe of Bethlehem & the
'Word' of John 1. If you know of others who would
enjoy receiving BreakPoint in their E-mail box each
day, tell them they can sign up 1-877-3-CALLBP
or http://www.breakpoint.org
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@...
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.



===============


"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book."        -- President Abraham Lincoln

"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us.  So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630

"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
the Bible." - President George Washington

"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon

"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
- Queen Victoria

"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)

"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
- Patrick Henry   (original member of the Continental Congress)

"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." -  President U.S. Grant





===============





Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon
   without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road."
~Henry Ward Beecher
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
"The human race has one really effective weapon,
   and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
  "What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
  "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a
time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a
time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)

NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain.  If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.





===============



Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
no charge to you) of God  (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world
(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up
His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes  (trust in,
relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal  (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.
No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,
Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good
things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}


Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that
leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow
the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it.      --Matthew 7:13-14

Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@...
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.



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was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small  attempt to obey "The Great Com-
mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
                       Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)"  _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,
Crosswalk.com, CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.

Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.


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unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
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Notice: 'Thought & Humor' uses Norton Antivirus 2004
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But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth.  Ex 9:16




===============


Check out YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!


===============

WORD-MATCH
         ANSWER KEY


  http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/

===============


ANSWERS TO RIDDLES:

   http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/


===============



Dear Friends,

Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you
& your dynasty & an enkindling winter pulchritude!!!

Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick,
Howdy
(probably spurious)


P.S. You can wish me happy B-Day if you wish:O)



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Forward this newspaper to four
people and you will lose two pounds.
Send this to all the people you know
(or ever knew), and you will lose 10
pounds. If you delete this message,
you will gain 10 pounds immediately.


That's why I had to pass this on --
I didn't want to risk it.    Howdy



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*CLICK ON THE ATTACHMENT FOR THE
AWARD WINNING "COLOR VERSION"
OR CHECK BELOW (ON SOME COMPUTERS)
Yahoo & Hotmail ISP's see below for
color cartoons:O)



===============



Q: Why does it take longer to build a
      UNC snowman than a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.


===============


      Riddles:



1) I have a hundred legs, But cannot stand.
I have a long neck, But no head.
I cannot see, and I'm neat and tidy, As can be.
What am I?


2) The first is foremost legally
The second circles outwardly
The third leeds in victory
The last twice ends a nominee
What am I?


3) Without looking at a calendar, within a minute name
a boys name using 5 consecutive 1st letters of 5
consecutive months.



                                         (Answers are located below)
                                                   If you can't find the answers
below:
                                 http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/

===============



Great Color Cartoons:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Click on December 2004  on right!!!




===============


Q.  What kind of bird can write?
A.  A pen-quin.



===============




Read what you have time for below
& save the residuum for a stormy/
blustery/dilatory interval while
the charming/exquisite/vernal/
aestival season is bursting out all
over. Our goal is to promote a non-
threatening and productive office
& university environment and to
establish language that is gender-
neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-
neutral while celebrating our spirit
of diversity.


===============




Recently, while I was on a shopping trip at a mall
in Chapel Hill*, I heard a UNC co-ed talking to her
date on the down escalator. She said, "What do they
do when the basement gets full of steps?'"
      * http://www.ci.chapel-hill.nc.us/






===============





***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***
This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your divertissement!?! "UNSUBSCRIBE" communiqué
located below.    Even French students can do it...





===============



Photos That Don't Make The News:

                http://xrl.us/ebw4

{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's
address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should
be}

===============



Dear Howdy,An English professor at UNC wrote"I ain't had no fun in months" on
the board and then
asked the class, "How should I correct that?"A coed raised her hand and replied,
"Maybe get a new
boyfriend?"Paul Y.




===============






                                    Eureka!

Bright ideas depend above all on a strong vocabulary to give
them lasting brilliance. How many of the following words light
up your face with understanding?

1. resolve (n.) - A: self-reliance. B: willfulness.
C: determination. D: protest.

2. comprehend (v.) - A: to examine. B: puzzle over.
C: grasp mentally. D: consider.

3. premise (n.) - A: summary. B: pledge. C: proven fact.
D: assumption.

4. demonstrable (adj.) - A: overwhelming. B: emotional.
C: showy. D: evident.

5. reflective (adj.) - A: thoughtful. B: slow. C: responsive.
D: watchful.

6. plausible (adj.) - A: easily changed. B: seemingly true.
C: authoritative. D: effective.

7. scrutiny (n.) - A: angry glance. B: cleanliness. C: cau-
tion. D: close examination.

8. envision (v.) - A: to explain. B: remember. C: imagine.
D: encompass.

9. affirmation (n.) - A: firmness. B: dissension. C: appro-
bation. D: confirmation.

10. practicable (adj.) - A: feasible. B: businesslike.
C: experimental. D: influential.

11. curriculum (n.) - A: scheme or method. B: courses
of study. C: end point. D: resource.

12. infrastructure (n.) - A: foundation. B: political action
committee. C: separation of powers. D: insiders' group.

13. initiate (v.) - A: to check off. B: review. C: begin.
D: be enthusiastic.

14. inference (n.) - A: concept. B: accusation. C: represen-
tation. D: reasoned conclusion.

15. optimal (adj.) - A: promising. B: best. C: not compul-
sory. D: harmless.

16. sagacious (adj.) - A: wise. B: heroic. C: fair-minded.
D: elderly.

17. compensatory (adj.) - A: counterbalancing. B: regulated.
C: punishing. D: unjust.

18. impasse (n.) - A: impractical condition. B: confronta-
tion. C: bewilderment. D: stalemate.

19. probity (n.) - A: procedure. B: honesty. C: legislative
inquiry. D: self-righteousness.

20. lucid (adj.) - A: easily understood. B: colorful.
C: without sense. D: highly intelligent.

               (Answers below)





===============




Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online,
'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way
through the Internet’s highways and byways to your e-mail
address. We welcome all our great readers to another unique
blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your
weekly entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic
but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious
and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....




===============



Billy Bob's parents were thrilled and excited when he joined the Army
after graduation from UNC* - he was going to serve his country.

After Billy Bob had completed basic training, he invited his parents to
come to the base and spend the day there. He said that special programs
had been set up for all the parents, so that they could see the results
of the training. His parents showed up, eager to see what Billy Bob had
learned.

After all the parents had visited with their sons, the Drill Sergeant
announced that the group would do an exhibition of marching, to show
off the skills their sons had learned.

The troops lined up in formation and marched by the group of parents.

As they went by, Billy Bob's mother said to his father, "I'm
so proud of Billy Bob. Look at him. He's out there marching,
and do you notice, he's the only one in step?"

________
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.

===============






Tricky Questions

Pay attention to these questions as the
tricky word play can confuse you! The
answers are at the bottom.

1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?

2. How many birthdays does an average person have?

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?

4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar's
    sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How
    come?

5. Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?

6. How many outs are there in an inning?

7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's
    sister? Why?

8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the
    same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.

9. One-half of 30 is 15, so 30 divided by 0.5 is what?

10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides
     have southern exposure. A bear walks by; what color is
     the bear? Why?

11. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do
     you have?

12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a
     nickel. What are the coins?

13. If you have only one match and you walked into a room
     where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a
     wood burning stove, which one would you light first?

14. How far can a dog run into the woods?

15. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one
     every half hour. How long would the pills last?

16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are
     left?

17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?

18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does
     he weigh?      (Answers info below)







===============




The Worst Kind of Folly:
I AM CHARLOTTE SIMMONS
A review:   http://xrl.us/ecxa



===============









Christmas Party Quiz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


1. Electric Christmas tree lights were first used in:

A) 1492
B) 1895
C) 1944
D) 1976

2. The poinsettia, a traditional Christmas flower, originally grew in
which country?

A) Canada
B) China
C) Mexico
D) Spain

3. Which name does NOT belong to one of Santa's reindeer?

A) Comet
B) Prancer
C) Blitzen
D) Klaxon

4. The real St. Nicholas lived:

A) At the North Pole
B) On the island of Malta
C) In Turkey
D) In Holland

5. At Christmas, it is customary to exchange kisses beneath
a sprig of which plant?

A) Ivy
B) Yew
C) Holly
D) Mistletoe

6. Believe it or not, one Indiana town is called:

A) Christmasville
B) Wenceslas
C) Noel
D) Santa Claus

7. Which popular Christmas song was actually written for Thanksgiving?

A) Away in a Manger
B) Frosty the Snowman
C) Jingle Bells
D) Joy to the World

8. The poem commonly known as The Night Before Christmas
was originally titled:

A) Santa's Secret Visit
B) A Visit from St. Nicholas
C) The Night Before Christmas
D) The Midnight Guest

(Answer Info Below)






===============


   ***TEST YOUR WORD KNOWLEDGE? ***

Match the words in the left-hand column with the correct
definition in the right-hand column. The answer key is
listed at the bottom of this newsletter.


1. gauche         A. An expression of doubt
2. dunkirk        B. To endow with life
3. condign       C. Lacking social polish
4. anopsia       D. Deserved; adequate
5. salver          E. To show servile deference
6. lambent       F. A serving tray
7. kowtow        G. A killjoy
8. vivify           H. A desperate evacuation or retreat
9. wowser         I. Absence of sight
10. aporia        J. Flickering lightly over a surface

                            (answers below)


===============



Check out YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!


===============


   Why Am I Here:    http://www.needhim.org/
===============






In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census
should be taken of the entire Roman world.  So Joseph went up
from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the
town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of
David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to
be married to him and was expecting a child.    --Luke 2:1 and 4-5






===============



'Thought & Humor' has been  read in all 50 States,
70 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!



===============






One day the president of the company came
upon a  young man who was expertly counting
out a large wad of the firms cash.  The boss
asked, " Where did you get your financial
training, young man?"

"Yale," the young man answered proudly.

   Ah, a fellow Ivy Leaguer! What is your name?"

"Yack Yackson."






===============



If you would like to write Howdy (he reads all of them),
send an amicable, meticulous, penurious or factious e-mail to:



  Howdy's address:       your-bestfriend4u@...



Please tell us your general location (State, School, Country).
All letters sent to Howdy might be printed unless you
request otherwise. Letters marked "anonymous" may be
printed but without the name. Your e-mail address will not
be shown. Tell us what's happening in your locale!!!





Dear Howdy,

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to
thirty-five  and your job still requires you to
wear a name tag, you've  made a serious
vocational error.

Dennis M.

+++

Howdy, I'd like to report a hate crime
http://www.townhall.com/columnists/mikeadams/ma20041207.shtml
RECOMMENDATION: I fully realize this
deals with one specific campus of UNC,
but I thought that its overall message,
particularly in view of the Howdy Hunters
might be of interest to you. Also, it's funny!

Sincerely,
J.B.

+++

Dear Howdy,

The Blog is a very good remedy for the file size issue...

It all seems to work great!!!

God bless you,
Phil

+++

Dear Howdy,

Thank you for you newspaper...

I really enjoy reading them. I am a 42 year old mother
of 2 college young men. This is to let you know you are
never to old for Howdy.

Thanks a lot for being you!
Olivia R.

+++

Hi Howdy,

We should not tell our kids they can be whatever
they want to be. We should ask them, 'What will
you settle for?' You want to be a fireman? How
about working as a short order cook at Sizzler?
There are flames involved.

Robert G.

+++

Dear Howdy,

US President George W. Bush on Wednesday approved
$20 million in aid to the Palestinian Authority. While some
supporters of Israel impulsively react in a negative fashion
to such news, you should know that the approval was given
for the $20 million to be transferred in the form of funds to
pay Israel for past due utility bills.

Israel provides the Palestinian areas with electricity, water,
etc. and has endured severe delays in payment from the
PA for these utilities.

Thank you, Mr. President! Israel will finally get paid.

Brenda (Houston)

+++

Dear Howdy,
Heard about you via the internet. Was bored at worked.
Googled for 'jokes'and 'newsletters'. One of the newsletters
I subscribed to had your subscription info. Simple, isn't it ?

Regards,
Wayne Sinclair (S. Africa)

+++

Dear Howdy,

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our
enemies; probably because the are generally the same people.

Gilbert K.

+++

Howdy,

U_thrill_me!!!
  http://www.thestatenislandboys.com/U_thrill_me/

S. H.

+++

Dear Howdy,

I'm so old that I can remember when boys wanted
to date girls & vice-versa...

Windy Glasgow

+++

Dear Howdy,

Please remember our Service men and women that
are in harm's way and their families this Christmas
season in prayer.

Thanks,
Brenda

Armed Forces Tribute:
  http://home.insightbb.com/~armedforcestribute/






Please note that our policy allows for us to receive threats
on alternate Tuesdays when the Moon is waning only...


===============






There are people who claim to know God well
but have no part of Jesus, His Son.
There's no belief in redemption or the power of the cross
...the greatest work the Father has done.
Yet, without Christ no one ever truly knows God
and without the Blood is no remission of sin.
And eyes that never see the transgression in their hearts
have no chance to ever be born again.
Jesus Christ must be more than an "example to follow"
for He must be Savior and Lord of the soul.
And we must see ourselves as destitute without Him
before His salvation can ever make us whole.
Till the heart & soul is covered by the great Lamb of God
our spiritual eyes will always be blind.
And without the Holy Spirit there is no regeneration
...no changing of the heart & the mind.
There will never be personal knowledge of the passion of God
if we sidestep the agony of His cross.
For without total dependence on the person of Jesus Christ
we will die in our sin and be lost.
The Way of Salvation has always been Christ
before the foundation of the world was begun.
And God's Spirit doesn't dwell in hearts that won't bend
in repentance before His own Son.  Sheila Gosney

Jesus answered and said unto him, "Most assuredly, I say to you,
unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."
John 3:3

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me."
John 14:6

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while
we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Much more then, having
now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath
through Him. For if when we were enemies we were reconciled
to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been
reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.
Romans 5:8-10

Want to know more about Jesus at this Christmas time from God's Word ?
Click here for a site which features many languages:
   http://www.godssimpleplan.org/gsps.html






===============



While [Joseph and Mary] were [in Bethlehem], the time came for
the Baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a
Son.  She wrapped Him in cloths and placed Him in a manger,
because there was no room for them in the inn.
            --Luke 2:6-7



===============




Could you use a good fish story today? Once upon a time there were these
beautiful fish who lived five miles under the ocean. How do I know? They
were the subject of a PBS television special. So this is a for real fish
story. Because these fish are really striking - they are incredibly
colorful - some folks thought they might look good in someone's tropical
fish aquarium. So, they tried to bring these fish to the surface. They
didn't make it. They blew up when they got near the surface! They were
designed to live under that pressure at the bottom. No happy ending - except
they're leaving the rest of them where they belong - five miles under the
ocean. That's where they were created to be!

It really works this way in all of God's creation. There's an environment
that things and people were created to be in, and things really work when
they're in that place. They really don't work very well when they're not
where they were designed to be. Thankfully, God makes very clear the
environment you and I were created for, so we don't have to waste our lives
searching for it. In fact, probably the single most important question you
have to answer while you're on earth is this: Why am I here?

God answers that question in six simple, life-changing words in His book the
Bible. Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Colossians 1:16.
Speaking of Jesus Christ, the Bible says, "All things were" - now here are
the six words - "created by Him and for Him." Try putting your name in that
Biblical statement. Here we go. "(Your name) was created by Jesus and for
Jesus." Just like those fish were created to be in the pressure of that
deep-sea environment. Just like the earth was created to be in an orbit
around the sun, you were created for Jesus. You were created by Jesus for a
relationship with Jesus, where you live for Jesus. When you have this
personal relationship with Christ, you finally are where you were born to be.

Problem: we don't live for the one who gave us our life. We live for
ourselves. Again, in God's own words, "All of us have wandered away like
sheep; each of us has turned to our own way" (Isaiah 53:6). The Bible has
a word for this rebellion of ours - sin. Middle letter - I. And it says that
our sin separates us from the one we were made by and made for. If we
die with that sin-wall still there, it's there forever.

When those deep-sea fish are outside the environment they were made to live
in, they eventually die, and so do we. And some of that dying happens even
now, as we keep looking for love in places that don't deliver it, looking
for some inner peace, some fulfillment in achievements and relationships
and experiences that can't possibly give it to us because we're not where
we were born to be - knowing Jesus, living for the one who gave us our life,
and who gave His life for us.

That's the only way we could have a chance to get into the orbit we were
created for. All those sins of ours have hell as their penalty - a penalty
you and I deserved to pay and that Jesus paid on the cross. His call to
you is to put your total trust in Him to be the rescuer from your sin. The
moment you do that, the relationship you were born for becomes yours
forever.

If you've wondered why life isn't delivering and why it isn't working - if
you want to experience the peace and wholeness that only a relationship with
Jesus can give you, would you tell Him today, "Jesus, I'm yours." And let me
send you the booklet about beginning with Him called Yours For Life. Just
let me know you want it.

All these years you've been away from the one that your heart's been
searching for all along. Isn't it time to experience the relationship you
were made for - to finally be where you were born to be?  Ron Hutchcraft


Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@...
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.

Listen with RealAudio!
  http://xrl.us/eapd

To subscribe to "A Word With You," send a blank email to:
awordwithyou-subscribe@...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

To find out how you can begin a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ, please call:

1-888-NEED HIM.



===============




Q.  What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

A.  Claustrophobic!



===============







Two new Internet Explorer flaws announced by a security company
on Nov. 17. You should maybe consider a switch to Firefox.

The descriptions of these flaws are difficult to understand. Basically,
they allow you to download dangerous files without a warning from
Windows. The warning feature is part of Service Pack 2.

So, should you switch to Firefox? Kim Komando has & so has
Howdy. I think it is a better & faster browser, and a safer one. It's
available free at:             http://www.mozilla.org/







===============





                          Join the jollity by sending an e-mail to:
                                                   your-bestfriend4u@...
                                             (Place "SUBSCRIBE" in the subject).
                        (Open To ALL - Even Your Roommate/mom/friend/professor)

                    You may subscribe ANY friend/family you wish to
beguile/regale.
                 They will be sent a confirmation warning them that smiles are in
their future.
                                            (You may remain anonymous if you
wish.)






===============







The Holiday Crafter delivers fresh ideas and simple instructions
online. Projects like edible gumdrop wreaths, candle lamps
and banners are featured.

You can pick from a whole list or just hit the topics. Tips and
tutorials ensure your project will be a success.

Did you know that pinecones should be baked and sprayed with
polyurethane prior to decorating? Who knew? Learn a whole bunch
more by clicking below!    http://www.holidaycrafter.com/


{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's
address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should
be}






===============

Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture

===============





When using a public campground, a tuba
placed on your picnic table will keep the
campsites on either side vacant.






===============







At Senior Discounts, you can "Find the Gold in the Golden Years."
Get reduced rates on entertainment, shopping, travel and everyday
services. Go to the site and pop in your city or ZIP code. Out pours
a pile of senior discounts in 22 categories. This is better than Vegas.

Details include the name and address of the business, the amount of the
discount and the minimum age required. Yes, you may be too young for
some things. But isn't that nice for a change?   http://xrl.us/ecup





===============






Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon, an Ohio State fan, a
Michigan fan, a Notre Dame fan, and a Penn State fan.

They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them
was the most "die-hard" fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Notre Dame fan proclaimed to
the other four..."This is for the Fighting Irish!" and promptly
threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Not to be outdone by a Notre Dame fan, the Penn State fan jumped up and
shouted..."This is for the Nittany Lions!" and then threw himself
off the mountain.

Refusing to be outdone by the Notre Dame and Penn State fans, the
Michigan fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs "This
is for the Wolverines!" and without any hesitation, pushed the Ohio
State fan off the mountain.






===============




                              TRIVIA:

   The first Christmas card was created in England on
   December 9, 1842.

                              ***

   The Bactrian camel is the only land mammal on Earth that
   can survive on salt water.

                              ***


   A fourth of the population in metropolitan Detroit claims
   German heritage, a million people in Michigan as a whole.

                              ???

                       Johann Gutenberg's

   It took three years of constant printing to complete Johann
   Gutenberg's famous Bible, which appeared in 1455 in two
   volumes, and had 1,284 pages. He reportedly printed 200
   Bibles, of which 47 still exist.

                              ***

                         Do you Yahoo?

   The name of the Internet's most popular directory, is an
   acronym. According to the company, the   name "Yahoo" stands
   for "Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle." Do you
   Yahoo?

                              ***

                          Casablanca

   The Germans considered Casablanca (1943) a propaganda
    film   and made it illegal to show in   German theaters during
   World War II. Even after the war, only a censored version
   was allowed to   be shown in Germany; all references to
   Nazis were removed.









===============

Joseph's Story: No Longer a Secret

          http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/1296244.html

===============




If you stop believing what your professor told you had to be true
and if you start thinking for yourself you may come to some
conclusions you hadn't expected. You may find the Bible makes
more sense than you thought or were told to think. Allow yourself
to be ruined, ruined with regard to what you always thought could
be true. Can you believe what you don't understand? You and I
believe everyday what we don't understand unless it comes to
the issue of salvation.                - - -  Dr. Woodrow Kroll






===============





While the Swiss Army Knife has been
popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife
has remained largely unheralded. Its
single blade functions as a tiny canoe
paddle.







===============




Address Change

Don't be without 'Thought & Humor' this electrifying winter season
should your address (college students, military, rich people, etc.)
change. Subscribe your new address:

your-bestfriend4u@...


It's hard to impress the opposite sex without 'Thought & Humor'
combined with moonlight, candlelight dinners, ocean breezes,
                                   and Howdy...






===============




  Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.

The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad cow disease is really scary.
They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the
Johnson Farm."

The other cow replied, "I'm not worried, it doesn't affect us ducks."






===============


What's another word for thesaurus?


===============







In December of 1823, President James Monroe proclaimed
a new U.S. foreign policy initiative that becoame known as the
"Monroe Doctrine." Primarily the work of Secretary of State
John Quincy Adams, the Monroe Doctrine forbade European
interference in the American hemisphere but also asserted
U.S. neutrality in regard to future European conflicts.







===============




Bookmark YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!
Cartoons, humor &  thought daily.






===============



You can compress the diameter of your
rolled up sleeping bag by running over it
with your car.





===============




             "How to Be Sure You're
                a REAL Christian"
                    http://www.actsweb.org/htbs1.htm
                   1-888-NEED-HIM        (24/7 - free call)





===============



In "I AM CHARLOTTE SIMMONS, SINNER," returning
a book review of Tom Wolfe's latest novel.
Too bad this much needed warning about college life is
nearly lost amidst all the shocking detail.

http://www.boundless.org/departments/pages/a0000979.html

Who wouldn't love the opportunity to spend an
hour asking Theophilus all their pressing questions?
That's a gift that would please even your millionaire
uncle. Well we've got the next best thing: Theophilus in
writing.

Restoring a wayward pastor, redefining sex in marriage,
responding to atheists and insta-purity — Theo covers it
all this week in "SINS OF THE FATHERS."

http://www.boundless.org/departments/theophilus/a0000978.html
{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's
address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should
be}




===============







      On December 28, 1944, after ten months of incarceration in concentration
camps, Corrie Ten Boom was free. She had lost her father and beloved sister
to the horrors of Nazi death camps. Gaunt, filthy, and weak, Corrie made her
way to the railway station and boarded a train for a three-day journey home
to Holland.

      She later found out that an order had been given at the end of that
very week to kill all women her age and older. An error in prison paperwork
was the catalyst God used to release her.

      The Ten Booms, all devout Christians, had provided a hiding place in
their home for persecuted Jews during World War II. Corrie, who was
fifty-nine at the time of her arrest, was placed in an isolation cell for
the first few weeks of her imprisonment. Depression and the struggle
to maintain a sense of hope consumed her. MORE: http://xrl.us/ea8p






===============




Check out YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!



===============






When I was young I dreamed of being a test pilot. Flying
higher, faster, farther. Risking my life for the science of
aviation. But when I grew up I found out I wasn't qualified
because of my poor eyesight. Now I work in a post office
which gives me many of the same thrills. I'm always
pushing the envelope!






===============






Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?



===============







Nearly every year during the Christmas shopping season, we see
a version of the same phenomenon; there will be a scarcity of some popular,
heavily-advertised toy, and it will become many parents' mission to track
one down for their child.  In 1996, it was the "Tickle Me Elmo," which
reportedly sold on the black market for as much as $2000.  A couple of
Christmases later, it was the "Furby", originally priced at $30, but
selling during the Christmas rush for as much as $700. (1)  You could take
this as a classic example of the law of supply and demand, though I read in
one source that the scarcity is actually engineered by toy manufacturers.
They know that if parents cannot find the desired toy, they'll substitute
some replacement toy.  They'll also probably go out in January or February
(months when the toy industry has its lowest sales) and buy the toy once
the shortage is over.  By orchestrating a rush on an undersupplied toy,
the company has sold two toys instead of one and bolstered their sales
during the slump.

I've been puzzling over what would motivate someone to pay $2000 for
a toy they could buy several months later for twenty or thirty.  I can only
attribute it to a parent's desire to give good gifts to their children, in
this case, to give them what they've asked for.  Many have promised to get
their child what they want, and don't want to break their word.  Some just
can't stand the thought of a child disappointed on Christmas.

Jesus spoke of this common parental desire, asking, "If you then, who
are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will
your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"
(Matthew 7:11).  He acknowledged that it is the desire of even sinful,
selfish men to obtain good things for their children.

Yet the very best parents know that what a child requests is not always
the most pleasurable gift in the long run.  I remember the excitement of
opening presents on Christmas morning.  The glitzier toys that I'd seen on
TV prompted our squeals of gratitude.  But it was often the simpler, less
flashy presents that ended up providing the most hours of enjoyment.
Although a book might not look like an exciting present, once I cracked
it open I would be lost in a different world.  And I remember a simple,
boring-looking puzzle that my brother, sister, and I spent hours trying to
master.  Sometimes when handing me a gift, my mother would preface it
by saying, "You're just going to have to trust me that you're going to like
this."  And she was almost always right.

When Christ was born into this world as a baby, he found it a broken
place.  The neediness and pain of our universe feels like nothing short of
a mortal wound.  If you had asked anyone in Bethlehem what they needed
from God, I highly doubt that any of their answers would have resembled Jesus.
But God knows us better than we know ourselves, and He is familiar with
the need of the world He created.  Only in time did the significance of
this gift become apparent, this baby, "born that men no more may die."
Only in eternity will we understand the full extent of the healing Christ
brings.      Betsy Childs

(1) As reported by TIME magazine (December 6, 2004).


To subscribe, send blank e-mail with the subject 'Subscribe':
slice-subscribe@...


Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@...
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.


===============






A UNC sophomore is walking through a
luxurious neighborhood looking for odd
jobs to do when he approaches a large
house. He goes up to the house, rings
the bell and unexpectedly one of his
profs comes to the door.

The prof  asks the student what he can
do for him. The student tells him that he's
trying to earn some $$$ and wants to know
if he has any odd jobs that he could do.

The prof thinks about it for a second and
then remembers that he has been wanting
his porch painted. He asks the student if he
paints?

The student says, "Sure anything."

"Well, I've been wanting my porch painted,
how much would you charge?" the prof
replies.

"I don't know, say $50 bucks."

"Sounds good. Go ahead and get started."
He gives him the paint and everything,
closes the door and walks back inside.
His wife asks him, "Who was at the door?"
He tells her of the student and then told
his wife that the student agreed to paint
the porch for $50 bucks.

The astonished wife says, "$50 bucks,
but that porch goes the full length of our
house and then some. It will be at least
a few hours job. You really should pay
him more."

"But that's all he said he wanted, and
anyway he's a sophomore!"

10 minutes later, they get a knock on the
door. The man answers the door and the
student stands there and says,
"All done."

With a surprised look on his face, "I can't
believe it, you're already done painting
the entire porch."

"Yes, and by the way it's not a porch it's
a Ferrari."






===============






Birds don't fly this high. Airplanes don't go this fast.
The Statue of Liberty weighs less. No species other
than human can even comprehend what is going on,
nor could any human just a millennium ago. The launch
of a rocket bound for space is an event that inspires
awe and challenges description.

Pictured on link, the Space Shuttle Atlantis lifted off
to visit the International Space Station during the early
morning hours of 2001 July 12. From a standing start,
the two million kilogram rocket ship left to circle the
Earth where the outside air is too thin to breathe and
where there is little noticeable onboard gravity. Rockets
bound for space are now launched from somewhere
on Earth about once a week. See Picture:
   http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html






===============







  This morning I heard a story on the radio of a woman who was out Christmas
shopping with her two children. After many hours of looking at row after row
of toys and everything else imaginable and after-hours of hearing both her
children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally
made it to the elevator with her two kids.

She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of
the year. Overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming,
taste all the holiday food and treats, getting that perfect gift for every
single person on our shopping list, making sure we don't forget anyone on
our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who
sent us a card.

Finally the elevator doors opened and there was already a crowd in the
elevator car. She pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids in
with her and all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed she couldn’t take
it anymore and stated, "Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be
found, strung up and shot."

From the back of the car everyone heard a quiet calm voice respond,” Don’t
worry, we already crucified him." For the rest of the trip down the elevator
it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Don't forget this year to
keep the One who started this whole Christmas thing in your every thought,
deed, purchase, and word. If we all did it, just think of how different this
whole world would be.         (Tks: Brenda - TX)







===============




"We're trapped on the 106th floor"


See Story:
  http://xrl.us/ecca

Before Picture:
  http://xrl.us/eccc

After Video:
  http://xrl.us/eccd
  http://xrl.us/ecce







===============





A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave
the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what
is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other
side of which came a sound of scratching and whining, and
as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and
leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my
dog?  He's never been in this room before. He didn't know
what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master
was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without
fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but
I do know one thing...I know my Master is there and that
is enough."







===============




Muhammad or Jesus???

  http://muhammadanism.org/Muhammad/MuhammadOrJesus.htm


{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's
address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should
be}




===============







    OBSCURE AND UNUSUAL WORDS
                   *************************

1)  froward   froo erd  (adjective)
     : stubbornly disobedient or contrary

     Old English fraward "in a direction leading away from,"
     formed from Old Norse fra "from"

     He was always a froward child who would never listen to
     his mother.


2)  tumid   toomid  (adjective)
     : used to describe a body part or organ that is swollen

     Mid-16th century, from Latin tumidus, from tumere.

     When she slammed her finger in the car door, it turned
     red and became tumid.







===============









For printer-friendly version of 'T&H', visit:
      http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Howdy_Text_Only/messages








===============



--> GET THE GAME'S RATING BEFORE YOU BUY
Buying a computer or video game for the kids in your family? Check the
rating first! The ESRB is an independent, non-profit organization that
has developed a comprehensive rating system for computer and video
games to help you decide which games are right for your home. Just
search for the game's title here: http://www.esrb.org/



===============






Dear Lord Jesus Christ,

I admit that I am weaker and more sinful than
I ever before believed; but through You, I am
more loved and accepted than I ever dared
hope. I thank You for paying my debt, bearing
my punishment, offering forgiveness and providing
the way the way to have eternal life in Your presence.
I turn from my sins and receive You as Savior and Lord.

In Jesus The Messiah's Name,
(Your Name Here)

If at this special Christmas time when the world
celebrates the birth of the Christ Child, you said
this prayer for the first time - please let me know.
I would like to be an encouragement to you as you
begin a brand new relationship with the Creator
God Who loved you so much that He died for you!!!

Your Devoted Friend,
Howdy
your-bestfriend4u@...






===============




And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby,
keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord
appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them,
and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, "Do not
be afraid.  I bring you good news of great joy that will be for
all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been
born to you; He is Christ the Lord."        --Luke 2:8-11




===============





'Thought & Humor' -  often polemical but
never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.






===============







UNC English Grammer Tips

1. Don't abbrev.
2. Check to see if you any words out.
3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. When dangling, don't use participles.
6. Don't use no double negatives.
7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
8. Just between you and I, case is important.
9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
10. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
11. Its important to use apostrophe's right.
12. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without
       an object.
14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also
       a sentence should.
15. begin with a capital and end with a period
16. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in
       any two-word phrase.
17. In letters compositions reports and things like
       that we use commas
18. to keep a string of items apart.
19. Watch out for irregular verbs which have
      creeped into our language.
20. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
21. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
22. A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
23. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to
       punctuate it.
24. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a
       sentence with.
25. Avoid cliches like the plague.









===============





         Who is Jesus?
                    http://www.ccci.org/wij/


{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's
address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should
be}




===============




The Twelve Days of Christmas

http://www.cresourcei.org/cy12days.html




===============



Still an interesting sequence of pictures
(last is a Hoax):  http://xrl.us/ecb2


===============




[The shepherds] hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the
Baby [Jesus], Who was lying in the manger.  When they had seen
Him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them
about this Child, and all who heard it were amazed...  But Mary
treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.
The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the
things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had
been told.                --Luke 2:16-20




===============



Newsweek vs. The New Testament

With December 25 fast approaching, both TIME and Newsweek
are out with special Christmas editions, complete with cover stories
featuring beautiful works of Christmas art and articles addressing the
nativity narratives from the New Testament. Unfortunately, the content
of the articles hardly corresponds to the classical presentations found
in the cover artwork. To the contrary--both articles cast doubt upon
the historicity of the Christmas story.    MORE:   http://xrl.us/ebm4





===============




Family pranks
http://familyfun.go.com
You'll find plenty of family-friendly pranks here. Serve up some
alien milk or surprise anyone trying to use the kitchen sink.



===============






Recommended by Howdy for improving your life:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/evangelical_viewpoint/
http://www.ttb.org/
http://www.insight.org/
http://www.oneplace.com/Ministries/Turning_Point/
http://www.gty.org/
http://www.tonyevans.org/

{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's
address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should
be}






===============





Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':

Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors
that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far
as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are
concerned???

Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives
Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married
Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student
David - 50's - NJ - Businessman, Married
Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
Ellen - 20's - NJ - University Student
Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married
John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student
Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher
Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher
Milton - 19 - GA - College Student
Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped
Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married
Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married
Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
Steve - 40's - TX - Married, Computer Hardware Design
Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country

Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet
and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation
for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.


===============





Before heading out on a class hike, the UNC
prof stood at the trailhead reviewing map pinned
to a bulletin board.  A red arrow on the map that
said "You are here" caught one sophomore's
attention. Pointing to it he asked. "How do
they know that?"






===============







He is loveable, congenial, giving and jolly. What’s more,
he knows everything, as any child will readily testify. He
is a colorful old man whose visits are eagerly awaited by
millions of children each year and who, for a little while,
makes the world a much happier place.

Is Santa Claus a good influence on children or a bad
influence whose image merely commercializes Christmas
and who takes the reason out of the season? (Tks: Brenda)

MORE:  http://xrl.us/ebdn







===============


Bible - God's Word to you in different languages...

                        http://www.scriptures.com/

                  (Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')




===============







I had just moved to an address between Sunrise Avenue and
Sunset Blvd., one of Sacramento's major streets, and was
explaining to a clerk where my home was located for billing
purposes. "I live between Sunrise and Sunset," I told her.

"Oh, honey," she knowingly replied, "we all do."






===============






Out In The Cold

Last weekend, searching for Christmas gifts for my granddaughter, I drove to
the local Target store. As I walked in, I realized that something was missing.
At this time of year there should be the sound of Salvation Army bell ringers.

Then I remembered: Target won't allow them this year.

I did an about face, got in my car, drove several blocks, through several
traffic jams, and arrived at another shopping center for another store. On the
way in, I smiled at the bell ringer and dropped something in her kettle.

Last year, bell ringers in front of Target raised 9 million dollars. This year,
with bans from Target and a few other stores like Best Buy, the Salvation Army
is worried that it won't be able to make up the difference, even with other
stores like Books-A-Million and Circuit City stepping in to help.

Why would Target turn away the principal agency helping the poor? According to
their website, "Target Corporation has a long-standing 'no solicitation' policy
at all of our stores. . . . We receive an increasing number of solicitation
inquiries from nonprofit organizations and groups each year and determined that
if we continue to allow the Salvation Army to solicit, then it opens the door to
any other groups that wish to solicit our guests."

Come on. Most businesses with non-solicitation policies make an exception for
the Salvation Army because of the great public service it performs. And Target
has done that every year. Why change now? Political correctness?

Fortunately, many Christians are giving Target a reason to invite the bell
ringers back. Shortly after my experience, my daughter called and said that she
was on her way to Target when someone told her about the policy. She stayed
away. I talked to three other friends this week who won't shop at Target
anymore. Then I conducted a little informal survey, calling some members of our
church and asking whether they were shopping at Target this year. Uniformly the
answer was no. Christians are clearly becoming more sensitive to what's going on
in our culture, and it's a good thing.

I have a special place in my heart for the Salvation Army because in nearly
thirty years working in the prisons, I have seen them everywhere. We work with
them to help people start new lives when they come out of prison. They really
care about those whom Christ called "the least of these my brethren." And they
have the courage of their convictions. Many years ago the Army was told that to
receive public funding in New York they had to conform to the hiring practices
required by the city. That would have meant hiring people whose lifestyles were
offensive to what Christians believed. So the Army turned down the money.

In addition, the Army is one of the most efficient organizations in the country.
We have on our staff some former Army officers, and they're among the most
dedicated people I've known anywhere. I have spoken to the Army several times
and have been mightily impressed.

So I've sent the money I would have spent at Target to the Salvation Army
instead. And while I was at it, I threw in a little bonus. If you decide not to
spend money at Target this year, my recommendation is that you might want to do
the same thing. Let's make sure that the Salvation Army and the needy people
they serve are not left out in the cold this Christmas.   http://xrl.us/ebdd


"BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a daily commentary
on news and trends from a Christian perspective.
Heard on more than 1000 radio outlets nationwide,
BreakPoint transcripts are also available on the Internet.

BreakPoint is a production of The Wilberforce Forum,
a division of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

Chairman: Charles W. Colson
Dean: Nigel M. de S. Cameron, Ph.D.
Managing Editor: Jim Tonkowich, D.Min.
Senior Writer: Anne Morse
Associate Editor: Roberto Rivera
Associate Producer: Teresa Woodward
Wilberforce New Media Editor: Gina Dalfonzo
List Maintainer: Larry Wilson


As you read the Scriptures with your family, I hope
you'll have a new appreciation for who the "Word made
flesh" really is: He's the Creator who existed before time.
He's the Logos Who made heaven and earth, and Who
steers the stars in their courses. He is the Truth that is
ultimate reality. He is the 'Babe of Bethlehem & the
'Word' of John 1. If you know of others who would
enjoy receiving BreakPoint in their E-mail box each
day, tell them they can sign up 1-877-3-CALLBP
or http://www.breakpoint.org
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@...
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.


===============


"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book."        -- President Abraham Lincoln

"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us.  So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630

"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
the Bible." - President George Washington

"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon

"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
- Queen Victoria

"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)

"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
- Patrick Henry   (original member of the Continental Congress)

"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." -  President U.S. Grant

"It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.
The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."
- Horace Greeley  (Editor)

"That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests."
- President Andrew Jackson

"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee

"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)

"So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
- President John Quincy Adams

"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)

"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)

"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)

"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)

"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
it will not go." - Goethe (Author)

"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
distance separates it from all competitors."
- W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)

"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
due to the fact that when I was a chile my mother daily read me
a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
- John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)

"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
Huxley (Author & Scientist)

"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)

We must seek revival of our strength in the spiritual foundations
which are the bedrock of our republic. Democracy is the outgrowth
of the religious conviction of the sacredness of every human life.
On the religious side, its highest enlightenment is the Bible; on the
political side, the Constitution.     --President Herbert Hoover

For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
       --President George W. Bush

Our deep and heartfelt gratitude is due to that Almighty Power
which has bestowed upon us such varied and numerous blessings
throughout the past year. The general health of the country has
been excellent, our harvests have been unusually plentiful, and
prosperity smiles throughout the land. Indeed, notwithstanding
our demerits, we have much reason to believe from the past
events in our history that we have enjoyed the special protection
of Divine Providence...      --President James Buchannan

Without the assistance of the Divine Being... I cannot succeed.
With that assistance I cannot fail. Trusting in Him who can go
with me, and remain with you, and be everywhere for good,
let us confidently hope that all will yet be well. To His care
commending you, as I hope in your prayers you will
commend me, I bid you an affectionate farewell.
       - President Abraham Lincoln

Peace is precious to us. It is the way of life we strive for with
all the strength and wisdom we possess. But more precious
than peace are freedom and justice…This is our cause: peace,
freedom, justice. We will pursue this cause with determination
and humility, asking divine guidance that in all we do we may
follow the will of God.    --President Harry S. Truman

And now, Almighty Father, if it is Thy holy will that we shall
obtain a place and name among the nations of the earth, grant
that we may be enabled to show our gratitude for Thy goodness
by our endeavors to fear and obey Thee. Bless us with thy wisdom
in our counsels, success in battle, and let our victories be tempered
with humanity. Endow, also, our enemies with enlightened minds,
that they become sensible of their injustice, and willing to restore
our liberty and peace. Grant the petition of Thy servant, for the
sake of whom Thou hast called Thy beloved Son; nevertheless,
not my will, but Thine be done. --President George Washington

With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the
right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the
work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him
who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan,
to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace
among ourselves and with all nations. -President Abraham Lincoln

At this moment I have in my heart a prayer. As I have assumed
my heavy duties, I humbly pray to Almighty God in the words
of King Solomon, "Give therefore Thy servant an understanding
heart to judge Thy people that I may discern between good and
bad, for who is able to judge this Thy so great a people?" I ask
only to be a good and faithful servant of my Lord and my people.
--President Harry S. Truman

I speak as a man of the world to men of the world; and I say to you,
'Search the Scriptures!' The Bible is the book of all others, to be read
at all ages, and in all conditions of human life.  - President John
Quincy Adams

"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--President Woodrow Wilson

"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ.  For this
very  reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry  (original member of the Continental Congress)


===============




Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!

Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine
either?

Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.

Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of ham.

Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.

Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers?
A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.

Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...






===============



Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
no charge to you) of God  (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world
(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up
His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes  (trust in,
relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal  (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.
No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,
Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good
things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}


Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that
leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow
the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it.      --Matthew 7:13-14

Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@...
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.



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The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'
is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small  attempt to obey "The Great Com-
mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
                       Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)"  _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,
Crosswalk.com, CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.

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But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth.  Ex 9:16

And this Good News about the Kingdom will be
preached through all the world for a witness to
all people; and then the end will come. Mat 24:14




===============

WORD-MATCH
         ANSWER KEY


Bookmark YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!
Cartoons, riddle answers,
humor &  thought - daily.


===============


ANSWERS TO RIDDLES:

Bookmark YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!
Cartoons, riddle answers,
humor &  thought - daily.


===============



Dear Friends,

Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you
& your dynasty & an enkindling winter pulchritude!!!

Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick,
Howdy
(probably spurious)


P.S. Is it possible to be totally partial?



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Forward this newspaper to four
people and you  will gain 2 new
friends.  Send this to all the people
you know (or ever knew), and you
will gain 7 new friends. If you delete
this message, you will lose your best
friend immediately.

That's why I had to pass this on --
I didn't want to risk it.     Howdy


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