From: Michael <mwood@...>
Subject: Re: [spirit_of_assisi] PITFALLS OF POLYAMORY
To: spirit_of_assisi@yahoogroups.com
Cc: aaronbenjamin@yahoogroups.com
Received: Sunday, July 5, 2009, 6:45 PM

If you seek me to prove a worthiness you seek in vain. I am no one.

Aaron Benjamin Frimer wrote:
>
>
> B"H
> Shalom Michael, I too wear a beard, though it hasn't grown too long
> over the years. In the Kabbalah, the beard is said to symbolize
> compassion. You sound like a compassionate person. I believe that You
> are going to do the right thing, and bring glory to Hashem and Her
> honor in public. May this atone for all of your sins, and reveal
> retroactively that the only reason that you sinned was due to a lack
> of knowledge of Hashem and Her Torah, and not because You really
> wanted to do the wrong thing G*d forbid. Michael I believe in You. I
> want You to prove that You are worthy to become my mentor.
> love,
> Aaron
> *Na Nach Nachma Nachman MeUman
> <http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/AaronBenja min/> *
> *Yechi Adoneinu Moreinu VeRabbeinu Melech HaMoshiach LeOlam VaEd!
> <http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/AaronBenja min/>*
> *"Tracht gut vet zein gut - Think good it will be good!" --Tzemach
> Tzedeck zy'a*
>
>
> --- On *Sun, 7/5/09, Michael /<mwood@grandecom. net>/* wrote:
>
>
> From: Michael <mwood@grandecom. net>
> Subject: Re: [spirit_of_assisi] PITFALLS OF POLYAMORY
> To: spirit_of_assisi@ yahoogroups. com
> Cc: aaronbenjamin@ yahoogroups. com
> Received: Sunday, July 5, 2009, 3:15 PM
>
> Aaron Benjamin: allow me to go further, having thought for a moment.
> In truth, though I dont expect anyone else to do as I do, I learned
> early about something they used to call custody of the eyes. One
> looks
> downward when in crowds. One averts his gaze from staring at
> strangers
> or most especially strangers of the opposite sex. I still actually
> practice that.
> I also think that one should be covered in certain respects when in
> public. I even feel naked with my feet exposed, so always put on
> shoes
> when guests come.
> Personally I believe that modesty is a virtue in that it brings
> peace by
> not allowing or producing needless distractions.
> Women are beautiful, the most beautiful creation of God in my
> opinion-
> all of them! To place adornments about the body is not to cover them,
> but to revere them just as we do in Temples or Churches where we
> adorn a
> Torah or a Tabernacle.
> Same with males in respects. I have always worn a beard, because I
> reason that God put hair there and I should allow it to be as He
> intended.
> If we look at modesty as a means to respect and revere then it
> becomes
> something very relevant- not just some old prohibition. No. There are
> real and practical and daily applications in which this may bring
> peace
> rather than dissonance, adoration as opposed to degradation-
> respecting
> the image of God in each.
> But, alas, I have grown used to being in the world, where most
> folk dont
> think as I do; and where I am seen as the oddball.
> May you have a blessed day.
> Michael
>
> Michael wrote:
> >
> >
> > But of course, just as in Orthodox christianity or Islam.
> >
> > Aaron Benjamin Frimer wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > B"H
> > >
> > >
> > > Shalom Michael, according to what I have been taught modesty is
> > > generally considered to be a good attribute in Judaism. Would you
> > > agree with this view?
> > > Aaron
> > >
> > > *Na Nach Nachma Nachman MeUman
> > > <http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/AaronBenja min/
> <http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/AaronBenja min/>
> > <http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/AaronBenja min/
> <http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/AaronBenja min/>>>*
> > >
> > > *Yechi Adoneinu Moreinu VeRabbeinu Melech HaMoshiach LeOlam VaEd!
> > > <http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/AaronBenja min/
> <http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/AaronBenja min/>
> > <http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/AaronBenja min/
> <http://groups. ..yahoo.com/ group/AaronBenja min/>>>*
> > > * *
> > > *"Tracht gut vet zein gut - Think good it will be good!" --Tzemach
> > > Tzedeck zy'a*
> > > **
> > >
> > >
> > > --- On *Sat, 7/4/09, Michael /<mwood@grandecom. net
> <http://ca.mc633. mail.yahoo. com/mc/compose? to=mwood% 40grandecom. net>
> > <mailto:mwood% 40grandecom. net>>/* wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > From: Michael <mwood@grandecom. net
> <http://ca.mc633. mail.yahoo. com/mc/compose? to=mwood% 40grandecom. net>
> <mailto:mwood% 40grandecom. net>>
> > > Subject: Re: [spirit_of_assisi] PITFALLS OF POLYAMORY
> > > To: spirit_of_assisi@ yahoogroups. com
> <http://ca.mc633. mail.yahoo. com/mc/compose? to=spirit_ of_assisi% 40yahoogroups. com>
>
> > <mailto:spirit_ of_assisi% 40yahoogroups. com>
> > > Received: Saturday, July 4, 2009, 12:40 AM
> > >
> > > Everyone else seems to be here...wheres Hobbit?
> > > Come forth
> > >
> > > Suzanne Rohn wrote:
> > > > Namaste Oliver;
> > > >
> > > > Finally someone here says a word...and then this...Pray tell,
> > > what is
> > > > the point to this post???....Maybe You would like to join the
> > > > community/?? ...LOL. I have to say that this post is not
> really for
> > > > this group, this space or for me. I coudn`t care less what
> they do,
> > > > how they do it or why they do it or with whom: Tantric or
> > > > otherwise... ..Sorry I am rather disappointed.
> > > >
> > > > with love,
> > > > Suzanne
> > > >
> > > > On Fri, Jul 3, 2009 at 1:47 PM, Oliver<alantra34@ gmail. com
> > > </mc/compose? to=alantra34% 40gmail.com> > wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> PITFALLS OF POLYAMORY by Janet Kira Lessin
> > > >>
> > > >> Sasha and I are getting closer to our goals of loving
> oneness in a
> > > >> polyamorous relation, family and community. Sash says
> behavioral
> > > >> psychologists call getting closer The Method of Successive
> > > Approximations.
> > > >> We're narrowing the field of potential lovers, fine-tuning and
> > > zeroing in on
> > > >> "the ones". I know we'll get what we seek.
> > > >>
> > > >> Sasha's had lots of experience. His poly life actually
> > > stretches back in the
> > > >> 60s when he'd loved in groups after anti-war protests. I
> discovered
> > > >> polyamory in `66, when I was twelve. I resonated with The
> > > Harrad Experiment
> > > >> by Robert Rimmer and Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert
> > > Heinlein. Rimmer
> > > >> and Heinlein gave me a container for thoughts that helped me to
> > > think bigger
> > > >> than conventional society. When Sasha and I joined, we had to
> > > create a form
> > > >> of polyamory that would delight and support us both. We wanted
> > > to live in
> > > >> harmony with a dozen adults who love each other equally.
> > > >>
> > > >> That's what we wanted. What I got was jealousy, pain, fear,
> > > insecurity, lack
> > > >> consciousness and limitation. So we backed off from that
> vision of
> > > >> polyamory. We started over, renegotiated our relation to a form
> > > that works
> > > >> well for both of us. So now, how do we do this with three or
> > > four? And what
> > > >> happened on the way to where we are now?
> > > >>
> > > >> We've had a lot of amorous episodes. We look back on them and
> > > laugh, though
> > > >> when we experienced them, we didn't find them funny. Any one of
> > > these
> > > >> episodes could have torn us apart. I can see why people want to
> > > start life
> > > >> together with just the two of them in monogamy, as it seems to
> > > be easier.
> > > >> I'm sure it is in many ways because you're only dealing with
> > > what two people
> > > >> want and need and not all the wants and needs of still more
> > > people. However,
> > > >> we weathered each storm as they approached and engulfed us.
> > > >>
> > > >> THE POLY NAZIS
> > > >>
> > > >> May 13, 1998 will live in infamy--well maybe not for everyone,
> > > but for me.
> > > >> That day, Fritz and Serena, the poly-nazi's from New Zealand
> > > converged upon
> > > >> my community.. At the time, Sash and I were both struggling
> to find
> > > >> ourselves. We both needed to re-establish our identities after
> > > dramatic
> > > >> relationship changes.
> > > >>
> > > >> With Joan gone, Sasha no longer had to present a monogamous
> > > facade to Maui.
> > > >> He decided we `d create a shining example of polyamory for the
> > > world. He saw
> > > >> us with six to twelve adults, living in harmony in a community
> > > where
> > > >> everyone loved and liked each other equally. He latched on the
> > > polyamory
> > > >> ideal and clung to it like a new-found religion. He was
> > > determined to create
> > > >> a community of polyamorous lovers, living in peace, love and
> > > harmony.
> > > >> Nothing was going to keep him from his vision.
> > > >>
> > > >> We went to Oahu to visit with Ed, the lover that I had moved to
> > > Hawaii for
> > > >> back in `93 and also to check out the Honolulu poly group, Pali
> > > Paths, which
> > > >> met each Thursday night at the Unitarian Church. There we met
> > > Fritz who was
> > > >> living in a large poly community in New Zealand. We invited him
> > > and his
> > > >> wife, Serena, to come over to our community to teach us, to
> > > show us the way.
> > > >>
> > > >> Big mistake. When they landed they tried to take over. They
> > > built a huge
> > > >> wedge between me and Sasha. Sasha, still clinging to his
> > > polyamory ideology,
> > > >> hadn't yet learned that any ideology is really idiot-ology. He
> > > aligned with
> > > >> Fritz and Serena; they sent me back to Honolulu. Sash paid my
> > > rent at
> > > >> Buddy's in Hawaii Kai, but I hit bottom. I left Buddy's house
> > > and went to
> > > >> Jason's in Waikiki but he wouldn't take me back. He'd found a
> > > new love who
> > > >> was monogamous, so I couldn't possibly be seen in his
> > > apartment. I managed
> > > >> to grab an apartment across the hall from Jason's. I almost had
> > > to spend the
> > > >> night on the street. My oldest and perhaps greatest fear,
> > > homelessness,
> > > >> nearly come true. When I solved that one, relieved, I faced my
> > > second
> > > >> greatest fear, abandonment. Separation from my beloved husband
> > > with no
> > > >> likelihood of return, stared me in the face.
> > > >>
> > > >> That night I went through the dark night of the soul. I took
> > > out pills, held
> > > >> them in my hand, and longed for the strength to kill myself. I
> > > thought I
> > > >> finally did, but apparently didn't, as I woke next morning in
> > > bed, not on
> > > >> the floor where I had collapsed in pain with a broken heart.
> > > >>
> > > >> Yet I woke in peace, joy. Somehow in that night I'd learned to
> > > love myself.
> > > >> I found the most incredible gift, me. I could love. All the
> > > love I ever had
> > > >> was and is still with me every moment of every day. The love I
> > > generated,
> > > >> created towards Sasha, that deep, intense, intimate and
> > > profound love is and
> > > >> always will be. No matter how it appears, what form it does or
> > > does not
> > > >> take, my love is my greatest gift to me and the world. My
> > > ability to love is
> > > >> the love of God. I moved into complete and total unconditional
> > > love and from
> > > >> that perspective, I set Sasha free. I love him whether he took
> > > me back or
> > > >> not. For our love is, was and will be. forever. No one could
> > > ever take THAT
> > > >> from me.
> > > >>
> > > >> We finally made our way back to one another physically.. It took
> > > three solid
> > > >> months to get the poly vampires out our place in Maui. Sasha
> > > felt my heart,
> > > >> across time and space, and felt his own heart, how huge our
> > > love was. He'd
> > > >> tried intimacy with other women, but to no matter who else he
> > > held in his
> > > >> arms, who's vagina took in his penis, he couldn't feel the
> > > depth of love he
> > > >> and I have for each other. Fritz and Serena tried to take over
> > > and our
> > > >> corporation–The School of Counseling & Holistic Health
> > > Education–and our
> > > >> land and house. Sasha came back to his senses and realized
> what was
> > > >> happening so we had a delicate dance followed by many prayers
> > > to return me
> > > >> back home to status quo..
> > > >>
> > > >> I discovered any "ology" or "ism" is just another name for
> old time
> > > >> religion. Sasha and I discovered together in our return to love
> > > that what's
> > > >> most important in life is what is–not what was nor what might,
> > > can or will
> > > >> be. We live a from Ram Dass' Be Here Now: APPRECIATE WHAT IS
> > > became our new
> > > >> motto. First came the realization, then the internalization
> > > process. We
> > > >> eventually integrated our new construct into our lives and took
> > > a few more
> > > >> years to stabilize. Appreciation of the present become our
> > > foundation for
> > > >> the new form of our relationship. We moved into divine love and
> > > gratitude as
> > > >> well as we could, day by day, even as we argued and made-up
> > > every day for
> > > >> years to come. Each argument revealed yet another layer of
> > > scripts from our
> > > >> pasts for us to cathart and reprogram in the make-up phase of
> > > our daily
> > > >> quarrel. Like the layers of an onion, we gradually peeled our
> > > scripts away.
> > > >>
> > > >> Even while I was exiled and wounded Sash and I were still a
> > > system. He has
> > > >> since embraced bhakti yoga, the yoga of service. He serves me,
> > > his goddess
> > > >> and wife. He devotes himself to me as his personal goddess. His
> > > job is to
> > > >> heal the wounded goddess in me and simultaneously heal himself.
> > > In bhakti,
> > > >> to give is to receive. We both learned how to love completely,
> > > totally and
> > > >> unconditionally.
> > > >>
> > > >> I learned caution from the Fritz and Serena episode. I need to
> > > interview
> > > >> people much more before I invite them into my home. Like the
> > > in-laws who
> > > >> arrive with their luggage, guests may be hard to get out once
> > > entrenched.
> > > >>
> > > >> The Poly Nazi episode was the longest and most dramatic
> > > challenge we've had.
> > > >> Fritz and Serena dominated our consciousness with their crap
> > > from May until
> > > >> late August 1997. That was a close one. However, that episode,
> > > as rough as
> > > >> it was for both of us, helped us define ourselves and
> > > definitely showed us
> > > >> that love is more important than a ideology.
> > > >>
> > > >> BELIEFS, THEOLOGY, RELIGION AND IDEOLOGY
> > > >>
> > > >> Different people value different things. For some,
> location's most
> > > >> important. For others it's religion, culture, family, career.
> > > For many,
> > > >> their `ology or `ism is paramount and love is second. Find
> > > others who have
> > > >> the same priorities rather than try to change someone to your
> > > standards or
> > > >> you get pain and drama. At first, we thought our ideas more
> > > important than
> > > >> love. Love would come in addition to polyamory. If we held fast
> > > to what we
> > > >> believed about multiple loving, we'd have our beliefs and love.
> > > We kept
> > > >> trying to get each other and life to fit our ideals, to live up
> > > to our
> > > >> expectations. But the Universe gave us the lessons we needed.
> > > Once again I
> > > >> was reminded "don't should all over yourself. And don't should
> > > all over
> > > >> anyone else, either."
> > > >>
> > > >> WE WANT YOU
> > > >>
> > > >> We have people contacting us all the time wanting to join us.
> > > Sometimes I
> > > >> think we're more popular than Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck.
> > > So many want
> > > >> to have sex with us, it blows my mind. I think is that they
> > > seek connection.
> > > >> They see that we're open-minded and express thoughts they hide
> > > They feel
> > > >> we'll understand them when no one else will. They want to feel
> > > wanted,
> > > >> appreciated, loved and adored. They long to feel connected to
> > > others, so
> > > >> that they have stimuli, interaction and exchange to feel
> > > dynamic and alive.
> > > >>
> > > >> I'LL MAKE YOU A STAR
> > > >>
> > > >> For about two years we had an internet, phone relationship with
> > > Paul-Bob. He
> > > >> kept saying his name was Paul and his co-worker was Bob, but
> > > when we spoke
> > > >> on the phone with either of them, they sounded suspiciously
> > > identical. He
> > > >> found us on the net and thought we were perfect additions for a
> > > film and for
> > > >> his poly family. He'd make us stars. He wanted us as partners
> > > every way,
> > > >> said he had a wife, kids and a team of polyamorous lovers
> > > living in his huge
> > > >> mansion on Long Island. He had the money and the team necessary
> > > to do our
> > > >> tantric video right. He even had distributors ready to mass
> > > produce and
> > > >> promote and distribute our series of videos to the market big
> > > time. Sasha
> > > >> and I made love while on the phone Paul-Bob listened and
> > > masturbated. It was
> > > >> fun. At Paul-Bob's request, we made a video with several
> > > friends in our
> > > >> home. This video was a demo of what we'd do in the real
> thing, with
> > > >> high-quality equipment, a custom-designed tantric set and crew.
> > > He told us
> > > >> we had to expedite the film to him, that there was a deadline
> > > with his
> > > >> backers "Overnight the video and no, there's no time to even
> > > make a copy."
> > > >>
> > > >> Later that summer when we were in Providence, Rhode Island with
> > > clients,
> > > >> Paul-Bob called and said, "Quick, get down here to New York.
> > > Catch the first
> > > >> plane out. I'll reimburse all your expenses and in addition,
> > > I'll have a
> > > >> check for $15,000 waiting for you to firm up the deal." He told
> > > us to go to
> > > >> the Pennsylvania Hotel across from Madison Square. There'd be a
> > > room waiting
> > > >> for us, paid, of course.
> > > >>
> > > >> We made expensive last minute flight arrangements at the
> > > airport. We put the
> > > >> tickets on our credit card since we knew we'd be reimbursed at
> > > the other
> > > >> end. We arrived in the Big Apple, and yes, the room was waiting
> > > for us, paid
> > > >> in full. But oh, the room, what a dump! I've stayed in hundreds
> > > of hotels
> > > >> and this room was the worst ever. We decided to forgive that,
> > > believed
> > > >> Paul-Bob didn't know how bad the room was and anxiously awaited
> > > his arrival.
> > > >>
> > > >> Bob, as the fellow called himself, arrived late, but within a
> > > reasonable
> > > >> time. A plump, balding, middle-aged man, he spoke with a heavy
> > > New Yark
> > > >> accent.
> > > >>
> > > >> "But we've already auditioned, several times on the phone," we
> > > protested. He
> > > >> explained, "I have to report to my boss, Paul. I have to make
> > > sure you guys
> > > >> are the real thing. Paul's putting up all the money for this
> > > thing, taking
> > > >> the biggest risk." Sasha and I looked at each other, shrugged
> > > our shoulders,
> > > >> then decided to proceed. We made tantric love while Paul-Bob
> > > watched and
> > > >> played with himself. He was polite and asked if he could
> assist our
> > > >> connection. I let him to touch my buttocks but nowhere else.
> > > Sash and I
> > > >> laughed, smiled, and continued to enjoy ourselves as we always
> > > do. We
> > > >> continued for a while till we built to our well-rehearsed
> > > crescendo and had
> > > >> our simultaneous orgasms while Bob laid back on the bed behind
> > > us, sped up
> > > >> his movements till he had his. Bob exclaimed happily, "That was
> > > great! Paul
> > > >> is going to love you. I'll be sure to give him a most favorable
> > > report. Well
> > > >> I have to go now; it's late,. I'll be by the next morning with
> > > the contract
> > > >> for our review and the check."
> > > >>
> > > >> "You don't have the check with you?" I said, my heart sinking.
> > > "Why no." he
> > > >> replied, a shocked tone in his voice. "But please, trust me.
> > > I'd never
> > > >> betray you or use you like that. I'll be by in the morning with
> > > the check.
> > > >> Believe me." Sasha and I closed the door behind him, giggled
> > > and prepared to
> > > >> sleep. Traffic noises kept us up most all night. The air
> > > conditioning didn't
> > > >> work very well so we had to open the window or suffocate. The
> > > moments we did
> > > >> managed to sleep were awful as the bed was lumpy and the
> > > pillows flat.
> > > >>
> > > >> Next morning, of course, Paul-Bob didn't show. We'd been had.
> > > Paul-Bob had
> > > >> led us on for two years. And here we were, taken big time.
> > > Luckily we had a
> > > >> friend we could crash with in town while we waited for our
> > > flight out of
> > > >> town the next day. We were embarrassed, but had to laugh. Our
> > > shortcoming is
> > > >> that we believe people and believe IN people.
> > > >>
> > > >> VET THE LAZY AND THE CRAZY
> > > >>
> > > >> We talked to Milwaukee Mike at length on the phone then invited
> > > him to join
> > > >> the community. When he landed, we found out that he was a drunk
> > > who spouted
> > > >> violent fantasies. His favorite movie was "Silence of the
> > > Lamb." His eyes
> > > >> would roll, he'd droll and slobber as he savored fantasies of
> > > >> Jack-the-Ripper type characters attacking us at night. I was
> > > scared. He was
> > > >> really getting off on it! Mike had to go. What we learned:
> > > check applicants'
> > > >> background; they may be insane or dangerous.
> > > >>
> > > >> Two characters recently tried to join us. We did background
> > > checks this time
> > > >> and found out they'd both recently released from the psycho
> > > wards. Both them
> > > >> showed up, despite our protests. One of these guys walked
> in on us,
> > > >> insisting he'd been guided to us to find a "mother and her
> > > young daughter."
> > > >> Sasha bade him leave and he walked right into the house of our
> > > Hawaiian
> > > >> neighbors down the road. He's lucky to be alive. The other
> > > fellow, a 35 year
> > > >> old whose mother offered to pay us to watch seemed harmless but
> > > needed
> > > >> watching 24/7. Sasha and I seek community mates, not autistic
> > > adults. We
> > > >> weren't auditioning to be baby sitters.
> > > >>
> > > >> In a poly community like ours, you have to watch who your
> > > housemates select
> > > >> as lovers and guests. One fellow wasn't too bad, though he had
> > > difficulty
> > > >> with boundaries. The girlfriend he found, however, was way out
> > > there. She
> > > >> seduced all the guys in the neighborhood and played them off
> > > against each
> > > >> other. I don't know how she managed that, actually, cause she
> > > wasn't all
> > > >> that attractive and obviously, when she spoke, she had a few
> > > screws lose. It
> > > >> must have been the big boobs. However, she almost caused WWIII
> > > up here in
> > > >> the mountain and it was all I could do to keep the neighborhood
> > > wives from
> > > >> killing her. She had to go.
> > > >>
> > > >> Then there were two "normal" couples we interviewed for
> > > community. They were
> > > >> both hard working, industrious, courteous, kind. One couple we
> > > met at a
> > > >> conference. We spoke to them on the phone for months.
> > > >>
> > > >> I had known the male of the other couple very well. Years
> > > earlier we'd been
> > > >> lovers. We had a very strong attraction for one another and I
> > > thought he'd
> > > >> be super nice to have around..
> > > >>
> > > >> But in both cases, no sooner did they land here, they forgot
> > > how to work. No
> > > >> kidding. That gene went completely out the window. Not only did
> > > they forget
> > > >> how to go out and get a job, they also forgot how to wash a
> > > dish, clean a
> > > >> toilet, take out the trash, cook a meal. I didn't realize that
> > > could happen
> > > >> till I landed here, but actually, forgetting how to work is a
> > > thing that
> > > >> frequently hits people who come to live in the islands. The
> > > sun, the beach,
> > > >> the ocean breezes call and lull people into some sort of
> > > stupor. Months
> > > >> drift by and they haven't lifted a finger to send out a resume,
> > > drop off an
> > > >> application. That's why they have the saying, "The islands will
> > > either
> > > >> embrace you or spit you out.". One can't be lazy and survive in
> > > a place with
> > > >> one of the highest costs of living in the country.
> > > >>
> > > >> Additionally, Sasha and I are in no way prepared to take on
> > > people who can't
> > > >> support themselves. We can barely keep up with the bills and
> > > feed ourselves.
> > > >> Each community member has to pay some sort of rent which goes
> > > to all the
> > > >> numerous expenses I'm sure every community has. Need I list
> > > them all? In
> > > >> addition, they must feed themselves. While there are many fruit
> > > trees and
> > > >> land to farm, one still must have their own money when it comes
> > > time to go
> > > >> to the grocery store.
> > > >>
> > > >> Now that I think of it, two other singles came here and they
> > > too, forgot how
> > > >> to work. Well Sasha and I aren't about to adopt any new mouths
> > > to feed.
> > > >>
> > > >> Just when we thought we cleared out the crowd that expected me
> > > and Sash to
> > > >> be their Mom and Dad, along comes another winner.
> > > >>
> > > >> The final woman not only didn't want to work, which actually
> > > turned out ok,
> > > >> cause she managed to pay the rent, but she got involved with a
> > > major
> > > >> psychopath. Actually, she had a job, but her lover, charming to
> > > the max,
> > > >> convinced her to quit so she'd play with him all day. This
> > > fellow ended up
> > > >> inflicting himself all over us and our visitors. He was like
> > > the camel who
> > > >> sticks his nose in the tent then before you know it, you've got
> > > the entire
> > > >> camel filling up the tent.
> > > >>
> > > >> This man, who I refuse to name because he's potentially
> > > violent, molested
> > > >> and date-raped, violated, manipulated, threatened and
> > > controlled several
> > > >> others to the point where they had to get TRO's (Temporary
> > > Restraining
> > > >> Orders) on him. The irony of it all was our housemate, who was
> > > his lover,
> > > >> refused to get this man out her apartment after reports came
> > > through about
> > > >> his actions, because she really didn't believe them. But in the
> > > end, she had
> > > >> to get a TRO against him herself. I felt sorry for her, but in
> > > a way, she
> > > >> asked for it when she refused to see it.
> > > >>
> > > >> Eventually, after all that happened, money actually did become
> > > an issue.
> > > >> When our housemate became afraid of the potential violence of
> > > her former
> > > >> lover, she left. I was out of town, and she demanded I return
> > > her rent.
> > > >> Since I was not home, I was unable to rent the place so I lost
> > > income, which
> > > >> I could ill afford.
> > > >>
> > > >> Bottom line, if you're operating a community you need to be
> > > careful, have a
> > > >> probation period for all newcomers, no matter how long you've
> > > known them,
> > > >> and have provisions in place for removal of those who don't
> > > abide by the
> > > >> rules you need to establish in order to maintain peace and
> > > harmony and get
> > > >> the bills paid.
> > > >>
> > > >> I have to laugh when I review the difficulties we had with
> > > community mates.
> > > >> We didn't even cover the sexual, intimate relationship- type
> > > difficulties we
> > > >> experienced.
> > > >>
> > > >> In reality, we haven't gotten sexually intimate with that many
> > > of our
> > > >> community mates over the years. Sasha and I decided to have a
> > > period where
> > > >> we'd interview a bit more on the other levels before
> introducing
> > > >> sexual-lovemaking, which often adds an additional level of
> > > complication.
> > > >>
> > > >> However, we did enjoy sex. Actually, making love's the best
> > > part of poly
> > > >> dating. When we make love, all considerations disappear.. The
> > > shadow fades,
> > > >> the light shines forth from every being. The dance of
> > > sexualloving– ancient,
> > > >> wondrous, profound, all-encompassing- -creates connections
> > > where egos drop
> > > >> and all that remains is oneness of the souls uniting in love,
> > > rediscovering
> > > >> who we really are. Group tantric lovemaking's what keeps me
> > > going. I
> > > >> understand. I've been there. I've returned. I remember union,
> > > where we're
> > > >> all one and that's the experiment I want for myself and those
> > > who dare to
> > > >> join me. It's possible to create heaven on Earth, feel that
> > > level of intense
> > > >> intimacy here, now.
> > > >>
> > > >> When we feel our oneness in tantric congress, we'll stop
> > > killing babies with
> > > >> bombs, old folks with chemical warfare, the hope of humanity
> > > with war. When
> > > >> we remember our oneness, atrocities humans commit against
> > > ourselves will be
> > > >> impossible. When we know that people who seem alien and
> > > separate are really
> > > >> part of us and we're part of them, it's impossible to harm
> them.
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > ------------ --------- --------- ------
> > > >
> > > > Yahoo! Groups Links
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Internal Virus Database is out of date.
> > > > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
> > > > Version: 8.5..283 / Virus Database: 270.12.93/2204 - Release
> > > Date: 06/26/09 18:00:00
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> > > Looking for the perfect gift?* Give the gift of Flickr!*
> > > <http://www.flickr. com/gift/ <http://www.flickr. com/gift/>
> <http://www.flickr. com/gift/ <http://www.flickr. com/gift/>>>
> > >
> > > ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> > >
> > >
> > > Internal Virus Database is out of date.
> > > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
> > > Version: 8.5.283 / Virus Database: 270.12.93/2204 - Release Date:
> > 06/26/09 18:00:00
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
> > ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> >
> >
> > Internal Virus Database is out of date.
> > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
> > Version: 8.5.283 / Virus Database: 270.12.93/2204 - Release
> Date: 06/26/09 18:00:00
> >
> >
>
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> Get the name you've always wanted <http://ca.promos. yahoo.com/ jacko/>!
> *@... *or *@rocketmail. com*.
>
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
>
>
> Internal Virus Database is out of date.
> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
> Version: 8.5.283 / Virus Database: 270.12.93/2204 - Release Date: 06/26/09 18:00:00
>
>