Your point about the agenda (particularly hidden agendas or passive aggression), and its connection to self-ness, is a very worthy concern. It again relates to Schwarzenegger`s "girly men" comment, and jim`s timely posted article, "The Death of the Macho."

In our society the temptation is to take our passions for granted by leaving them untended. I was sitting in my car, stopped at a red light, and a big truck pulled through the intersection in front of me. On the side of the truck were these posters of big scoops of ice cream, and there were several flavors and colors. I was momentarily and suddenly (and without warning) pulled into each poster, drawn by my untended passions into an imaginary world of ice cream. I was in ice cream heaven, as each flavor marched by. And I had little control over this captivation. The agenda was to have me reach into my pocket, take out my hard earned money, and go visit the ice cream store.

Now it can`t be that all agendas and passions are bad. The father`s passions (see below) should not be repressed, in my view. It is only the hidden agenda that is potentially dangerous. It is only the untended passion that might entrap us. But a society built on the ideal of institutional compassion finds itself unable to judge passions, so they go untended more widely. And the hard work of sowing carries the heavy burden of judgment, and few are willing to accept the self criticism that my agenda offers. The temptation remains to fall into a unilateral mind of unconditional love, and reap the bounty while not providing any heavy lifting that will give us the more self-cultivated passion.

To tend our passions is to be open to our fathers words (in my view). I think I already shared (here on serenityandtolerance) the dream I had about my father. He passed away in 1999, and soon after his death he came to me in a dream early in the morning. Just before I woke, this is what he whispered in my ear: "my brother poisoned my sister." At this level, this broken condition applied to me as much as him. My brother`s passions went untended, and my sister was poisoned and could only express passive aggression. And it is that this broken condition will not stand, going forward.

I have no love to give if my essence prefers darkness. The felt middle-term is the masculine perspective. But this passion will go tended, and un-repressed.

Stephen