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Subject: Neglect More Damaging to Children than Abuse
Date: Tue, 04 Dec 2001 23:48:46 -0700
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Less sensational but more dangerous
www.thereport.com
THE FAMILY
November 19, 2001 Issue Full Text
A national study finds neglect is more damaging to children than physical or
sexual abuse
by Candis McLean
SENSATIONAL media coverage to the contrary, the most widespread form of
child abuse in Canada is neglect. Moreover, neglect is more devastating than
either sexual or physical abuse, according to the first national study of
Reported Child Abuse and Neglect released this spring. "Neglect is chronic
and ongoing rather than an isolated occurrence as is abuse," explains lead
author Nico Trocme, a social work professor at the University of Toronto
whose study examined 3,200 children abandoned by their parents in 1998.
"Children under three who are not loved and paid attention to lack the
stimulation of interaction critical to emotional, social and language
skills. This in turn affects their ability to interact with peers. The child
becomes withdrawn or needy and gives off cues that turn other children off.
One study found even preschool children could identify some of the neglected
children--they didn't want to play with them."
Simon Fraser University psychology professor Charles Crawford says it has
been trendy for groups to exaggerate the rates and seriousness of physical
and sexual abuse in order to fight political battles. Mere neglect is less
sensational. In studies with chimps, he points out, researcher Jane Goodall
found that when the child of a dominant mother is attacked, she intervenes
immediately. Those further down the social scale have no protectors to
intervene. "Similarly, all sorts of things happen to kids who have no warm
clothes or lunch. Periodical abuse is not as bad as no support year after
year."
Down through the ages, neglect has been typical of very few thriving human
societies. Another modern phenomenon we should be suspicious of because it
was virtually unknown in the past is fragmented child care, according to
Prof. Crawford's former research assistant, Judith Anderson. She points to
data collected from 186 cultures before they were influenced by the modern
world, suggesting the importance of continuity. "Biological parents,
particularly mothers, were nearly always involved with the child until the
age of seven, while others involved in child care are nearly always close
relatives who will be intimately involved in the child's life for the long
term. Modern parents are happy to get a great nanny for a year. But for the
child, her leaving means losing a precious person."
It is the same with institutionalized daycare, Ms. Anderson says, where
children are often given a new set of caregivers every year. "It looks
efficient, but we haven't looked at the long-term effects. There is lots of
room for differences in child-rearing practices, but it may be unwise to
encourage practices that vary widely from those seen universally in human
societies." Her advice? Look for caregivers in it for the long term.
After 20 years' experience, Toronto nanny Leoline Moston is in complete
agreement. She recalls working for one family for two years. Refused a $50
per month pay raise she desperately required, she found another job. When
she returned to babysit one evening, three-year-old Blair, although
exhausted, refused to go to sleep. "He said, 'If I go to sleep, you'll go
away,'" she recounts sadly. "I had to tell him, 'I'll be here,' so he'd
relax. Of course when he woke up I wasn't there. Why couldn't his parents
have recognized the importance of continuity and given me another $50? They
certainly spend that much each month on show."
Fewer mothers return to work
AT the same time that neglect is being recognized as more damaging than
abuse, a U.S. study has found for the first time a downturn among mothers
returning to work during the first year of their child's life. More than 55%
of women who gave birth between July 1999 and June 2000 returned to work
within a year of having a baby, down from a record high of 59% in 1998.
"Perhaps women are discovering they can't have it all, they can only kill
themselves trying," speculates Marion Mann, a Calgary mother of two
teenagers. "Or they've seen their mothers killing themselves trying and
said, 'Yes, she achieved all this. But I wish I knew her."' Ms. Mann
believes even more women will choose to spend more time with their families
following the events of September 11, which she feels have made many
re-examine priorities.
Ann Woodruff, a Calgary mother of six, finds many of her daughters' friends
staying home with young children, rebelling against their mothers' hectic
lifestyles. "They have to get used to less income--going back to basics,"
she says. "But perhaps people are realizing kids need you there; they don't
need a showboat."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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