Today at the bank (on Yokota Air Base) I made a transaction, and then
the teller asked if I wanted my balance. I said OK, and she wrote the
amount on a small sticky note and handed it to me. Then I said, "If I
misplace this, then I'll have lost my balance!"

Can you believe, she actually laughed? I would have thought ejecting
me from the bank would have been the more appropriate response!

Tim

> What kind of crackers did Benny Goodman eat?
>
> The Saltines of Swing.
>

But then he'd be Putting on the Ritz.

Hugh

What kind of crackers did Benny Goodman eat?

The Saltines of Swing.

He could use that at a "roast"!
dad
-----
>Subject: [samuijokes] the difference
>Date: Mon, 29 Oct 2007 05:08:25 -0000
>
>What's the difference between the Prime Minister of the UK and a
>perfectly toasted marshmallow?
>
>One is Gordon Brown, and the other is golden brown.
>

What's the difference between the Prime Minister of the UK and a
perfectly toasted marshmallow?

One is Gordon Brown, and the other is golden brown.

Are you hounding me again with these puns?!
Doggone it!
dad
---------
>Subject: [samuijokes] this joke is a real dog
>Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2007 09:21:27 -0000
>
>Good slogan for a dog obedience school:
>
>Let the heeling begin.
>

Good slogan for a dog obedience school:

Let the heeling begin.

A TV variety show that you have to pay for as soon as the broadcast

reaches your home:

chakubaraety bangumi

("chakubarai" means "cash on delivery"; "baraety bangumi" means
"variety show")

Have a samui weekend.

Tim

Joe Biden, who ran for the Democratic nomination for President in
1988, has announced he plans to run again in 2008. Why did he wait so
long to try again for the presidency? Well, he was just *bidin'* his
time.

----------
> From: "carolyn sue" <csue027@...>
> Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2005 20:44:01 -0600
> To: "Joann & Pastor Young" <y6963@...>, "Cindy Werderman"
> <Cindy_Werderman@...>, "Harlene Stewart" <h2orat2@...>,
> <kathryn@...>, "marlys halberg" <marlysah@...>, "Greear, Sandy
> {Quaker}" <Sandy_Greear@...>, "Stu Gorius" <stugore@...>
> Subject: special
>
>
>
>
>
> Mr. Combs had a furniture store specializing in ornate antiques in the
> baroque style. He had walking pneumonia last month but was at the store
> anyway.  He was in one of the baroque style chairs rubbing Vicks
> Vaporub on his aching chest when he serendipitously discovered that the
> soothing ointment gave the furniture a wonderful, deep, rich shine.  He
> immediately told the other furniture store owners since their furniture
> was more modern in style and they were not competitors.  Soon he got
> reports that the Vicks treatment not only failed to work on the modern
> furniture, but ruined some of it. Mr. Combs is very unpopular now, and
> his only consolation is that he learned one very important rule:
>
> If it's not baroque, don't Vicks it.
>
>
>
>
> After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you
> are probably dead.
>
>

on 1/18/05 8:07 AM, David and Joann Young at y6963@... wrote:

>
> For some reason, that took a second!
>
> dad
>
>
>
> on 1/17/05 5:59 PM, Tim Young at tim@... wrote:
>
>>
>> The rock band entered the arena and began their first number. The crowd
>> went wild. But during the song, the lead singer noticed that all the
>> fans were wearing t-shirts with corporate logos on them, like
>> McDonalds', Coke, The Gap, Microsoft, even Royal Dutch Shell oil. Some
>> were holding signs, cheering not only the band, but various large
>> corporations.
>>
>> Between numbers, the lead singer said to the guitarist, "What's the
>> deal? Everyone in the house is shilling for The Man!"
>>
>> "What can you do?" shrugged the guitarist. "It's a sellout crowd."
>>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

For some reason, that took a second!

dad



on 1/17/05 5:59 PM, Tim Young at tim@... wrote:

>
> The rock band entered the arena and began their first number. The crowd
> went wild. But during the song, the lead singer noticed that all the
> fans were wearing t-shirts with corporate logos on them, like
> McDonalds', Coke, The Gap, Microsoft, even Royal Dutch Shell oil. Some
> were holding signs, cheering not only the band, but various large
> corporations.
>
> Between numbers, the lead singer said to the guitarist, "What's the
> deal? Everyone in the house is shilling for The Man!"
>
> "What can you do?" shrugged the guitarist. "It's a sellout crowd."
>

The rock band entered the arena and began their first number. The crowd
went wild. But during the song, the lead singer noticed that all the
fans were wearing t-shirts with corporate logos on them, like
McDonalds', Coke, The Gap, Microsoft, even Royal Dutch Shell oil. Some
were holding signs, cheering not only the band, but various large
corporations.

Between numbers, the lead singer said to the guitarist, "What's the
deal? Everyone in the house is shilling for The Man!"

"What can you do?" shrugged the guitarist. "It's a sellout crowd."


--
********************************

The Crazing Spider-Hag!

Chapter 12: The Family and the Fishing Net!

A new page in the continuing comic strip published every Monday and Thursday!

http://www.globalcomics.net

It's the result of waking up at three in the morning and having nothing to
read to send me back to sleep. Apologies.

Now for the story.

A famous chef was training his apprentice. The restaurant where they worked
was famous for its range of sauces. These were created on a weekly basis by
the chef, starting on the Monday, and continuing through the week until
Sunday. They were basically meat-based, with an expensive cut of meat going
in at the start of the week, and topped up with vegetables, replaced as the
week progressed.

One Thursday the chef ordered the sous-chef to make sure the sauces were
ready for that evening's diners. The young man walked along the row,
dropping an onion in here, a carrot there, a stick of celery in the third
pan. Then he picked up a piece of chicken, and threw it in the first pot. A
slab of pork went in the second. And as he picked up the third piece of
meat, the head chef shrieked, "Non! You do not that!"

"Why not?" asked the bewildered apprentice. "I've put pork and chicken in
the other two, now it's time for this one to have more meat added."

"Non," replied the chef. "In this kitchen, you must never re-veal your
sauces."

Sorry.

Hugh

-------- Original Message --------
Subject:  Fw: Churches in Las Vegas
Date:  Mon, 10 Jan 2005 14:19:06 -0600
From:  Andrew L. Kraemer <kraemer@...>
To:  <Undisclosed-Recipient:;>



GET READY FOR THE DAILY GROAN!!!!



     *Subject:* Churches in Las Vegas


     *Bless you, my children.  I'm on a roll !!!!!!!!!!*


         There are more churches in Las Vegas than Casinos.


         During Sunday services at the Offertory, some


         worshipers contribute Casino Chips as opposed to cash.



         Some are sharing their winnings - some are hoping to win.



         Since there are so many Casinos, the Catholic churches


         send all the chips into the diocese for  sorting. Once


         sorted for the respective casino the chips belong to,


         one junior priest takes the chips and makes the rounds


         to the casinos turning chips into cash.



         And he is known as ......


         .


         .


         .


         Are you ready,



         .


         .


         .


         .


         .


         The CHIP-MONK








--
********************************

The Crazing Spider-Hag!

Chapter 12: The Family and the Fishing Net!

A new page in the continuing comic strip published every Monday and Thursday!

http://www.globalcomics.net

Ouch!



on 1/4/05 9:35 PM, Tim Young at tim@... wrote:

>
> From David Ignatius of the Washington Post; a fictional newspaper headline:
>
> Fallujah Launches Ad Campaign; /Iraqi Tourists Urged to Visit 'Sunni
> Side of the Street.'/
>

From David Ignatius of the Washington Post; a fictional newspaper headline:

Fallujah Launches Ad Campaign; /Iraqi Tourists Urged to Visit 'Sunni
Side of the Street.'/


--
********************************

The Crazing Spider-Hag!

Chapter 12: The Family and the Fishing Net!

A new page in the continuing comic strip published every Monday and Thursday!

http://www.globalcomics.net

If "mosquito" is "ka" in Japanese, then what do you call a sudden,
massive increase in the mosquito population?



"Ka Boom"


--
********************************

The Crazing Spider-Hag!

Chapter 12: The Family and the Fishing Net!

A new page in the continuing comic strip published every Monday and Thursday!

http://www.globalcomics.net

On 20/12/2004 14:13, "Tim Young" <taceditor@...> wrote:

>
>
> A multitalented artist who's afraid of Christmas:
>
> Noel Coward.
>
A high-ranking member of the Soviet Communist Party, Rudi, and his wife were
looking out at the Moscow landscape one morning.
"It's raining, Olga," said Rudi.
"Snowing, Rudi," she retorted.
"I tell you it's raining."
"It looks like snow to me," she said.
"Listen," said her husband. "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Bammmm-tish!

Hugh

A multitalented artist who's afraid of Christmas:

Noel Coward.

My relatively well-written, badly drawn (and sometimes quite samui) Web
comic, The Crazing Spider-Hag, has been reviewed at erasingclouds. com:

http://www.erasingclouds.com/1130comics.html

--
********************************

The Crazing Spider-Hag!

Chapter 12: The Family and the Fishing Net!

A new page in the continuing comic strip published every Monday and Thursday!

http://www.globalcomics.net

Oh yeah, one more...

Survived the dumping of toxic waste at the new site in Nevada: YUCCA
survivor


Tim Young wrote:

>The new opening theme of the weirdest cartoon on television, "Bo bo bo-
>bo Bo-bo bo", is the Ulfuls' "Baka Survivor" ("Stupid Survivor"). Which
>got me thinking, what other kinds of survivors are there?
>
>
>Survived living in subzero temperatures: PARKA survivor
>
>Woman who survived Taliban rule in Afghanistan: BURQA survivor
>
>Survived living in a Flordia retirement village: BOCA survivor
>
>Survived life at a Russian summer home: DACHA survivor
>
>Survived a trip to Starbucks: MOCHA survivor
>
>Survived watching Andy Kaufman on 'Taxi': LATKA survivor
>
>
>Feel free to contribute to this list! (OK, it's probably funnier if
>you've heard the song!)
>
>Tim
>
>
>

--
********************************

The Crazing Spider-Hag!

Chapter 12: The Family and the Fishing Net!

A new page in the continuing comic strip published every Monday and Thursday!

http://www.globalcomics.net

The new opening theme of the weirdest cartoon on television, "Bo bo bo-
bo Bo-bo bo", is the Ulfuls' "Baka Survivor" ("Stupid Survivor"). Which
got me thinking, what other kinds of survivors are there?


Survived living in subzero temperatures: PARKA survivor

Woman who survived Taliban rule in Afghanistan: BURQA survivor

Survived living in a Flordia retirement village: BOCA survivor

Survived life at a Russian summer home: DACHA survivor

Survived a trip to Starbucks: MOCHA survivor

Survived watching Andy Kaufman on 'Taxi': LATKA survivor


Feel free to contribute to this list! (OK, it's probably funnier if
you've heard the song!)

Tim

--
********************************

The Crazing Spider-Hag!

Chapter 12: The Family and the Fishing Net!

A new page in the continuing comic strip published every Monday and Thursday!

http://www.globalcomics.net

When the Lone Ranger had cancer, what kind of treatment did he get?


Kemo Sabe Therapy.

--
********************************

The Crazing Spider-Hag!

Chapter 12: The Family and the Fishing Net!

A new page in the continuing comic strip published every Monday and Thursday!

http://www.globalcomics.net