Aum Sai Ram to Reet and my brothers and sisters in Sai

Reet, thank you so much for your exhaustive treatise on Samadhi.

In 1999, when I first went to India, in Whitefield to be specific, I
held up a stack of letters for Swami to take during Darshan. As
Swami came around, He looked deep and piercingly into my eyes. I
could not see His pupils. All I saw was the dark mystery of the
universe. Then time stopped. The world stopped. There was no
Swami...no Al...no Darshan Hall...there was nothing except
existence...consciousness, knowingness, eternal alertness.... This
was interrupted when Swami's hand swung around to take my letters and
then the world was there again and there was Swami walking, making
everyone very happy.

I had not understood what happened. There was this unstoppable
sobbing in me, wailing like a child, crying tears of joy. I was so
happy I thought I was ready to die, right there and then. Apparently
no one else undertood what transpired. The guy next to me said, why
are you crying, He took your letters. Lost for words, I looked and
found that Swami did not take the one and only envelope that was at
the bottom of the stack. So fumbling for explanation I said, Swami
left one behind.

But they were really tears of joy, such happiness can only be when
Swami is so close to us in either physical sense or spiritual
proximity. The experience is truly beyond words because the mind did
not exist. It was not there to categorize the experience, to
describe whether it is good or bad or to assign a name to it. So
truly I am not able to give you an accurate description but rather a
vague idea of what went on, in hindsight.

After sharing the experience online, a brother in Sai replied back
saying congratulations, Swami just gave you (experience of) Samadhi.
Reet, using the same quote that you provided this seems to make
sense: "...Every trace of name and Form disappear in that Ocean. He
who serves and He who receives the service, he who meditates and He
who is meditated upon, all such duality is dispelled and destroyed.
One will not experience even the experience, that is to say, one will
not be aware that he is experiencing...." Sathya Sai Baba."Prashanthi
Vahini," p. 60).

Something to note, I could not possibly have done anything to make
this happen, it happens when it happens - the ego's will can not make
this occur. In fact at other times during meditation, there is that
same awareness until the mind starts to classify the event.

When Swami comes out for us to see Him, we really should silence the
mind and simply look at Him. On His birthday last year, I would not
take my eyes away from Sai Sundaram. After awhile all I could see
was Swami surrounded by white light and around him where globules of
gold light. The Mandir, the hall, the people were nowhere to be
seen - it was just Swami, surrounded by light...for a long time. I
blinked and then vision disappeared and I refocused to see an
exclusive view of the Lord of Lights. This happened 3 or 4 times
during that Darshan. Just the thought of it sends me to ecstasy.

Even when our physical eyes can not perceive Him, our inner eye, our
awareness should be on Him. I welcome having to get up early to be
at the queue for Darshan, because it gives me a chance to meditate,
or call His name inwardly or chant the Gayatri. One morning, a few
days before Shivaratri this year, as I was opening eyes from
meditation, I could see a sparkle of light in everyone and everything
I see, like stars sparkling in heaven. It was like this for I do not
know how long. The experience seems to say, see Me (Sai) as the
light in everyone, the guiding light.

So if you ask me, what is meditation, you look at Swami, that is
meditation. You can do that anywhere, while doing anything at
anytime. It is your awareness of Sai that counts, at least in my
opinion.


In Sai's loving hands
Al Macasaet